General Chat

Giving this a nudge as I think it's good.

So true, Brenda :-D

Enjoyed all of those. a Welsh Corporation would swap the two cows for some sheep. And a Black Country Corporation for pigs - so you could get pork scratchings. :-)

brill!!!!

Brilliant...!

Joking aside there's a lot of truth in there too. Then there is the man married to the silly version, but best not to go there.....!

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

Roy

Right, got it now.

World economy explained with two cows

> SOCIALISM
>
> You have 2 cows.
>
> You give one to your neighbour.
>

>
> COMMUNISM
>
> You have 2 cows
>
> The State takes both and gives you some milk.
>
>
>
> FASCISM
>
> You have 2 cows.
>
> The State takes both and sells you some milk.
>
>
>
> BUREAUCRATISM
>
> You have 2 cows.
>
> The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk
> away.
>
>
>
> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
>
> You have two cows.
>
> You sell one and buy a bull.
>
> Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
>
> You sell them and retire on the income.
>
>
>
> VENTURE CAPITALISM
>
> You have two cows.
>
> You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
>
> credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
> debt/equity
>
> swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back,
>
> with a tax exemption for five cows.
>
> The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
>
> Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells
>
> the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
>
> The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one
>
> more.
>
>
>
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows.
>
> You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
>
> Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.
>
>
>
> A FRENCH CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows.
>
> You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want
>
> three cows.
>
>
>
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows, but you do not know where they are.
>
> You decide to have lunch.
>
>
>
> A SWISS CORPORATION
>
> You have 5,000 cows.
>
> None of them belong to you.
>
> You charge the owners for storing them.
>
>
>
> A CHINESE CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows.
>
> You have 300 people milking them.
>
> You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.
>
> You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
>
>
>
> AN INDIAN CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows.
>
> You worship them.
>
>
>
> A BRITISH CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows.
>
> Both are mad.
>
>
>
> AN IRAQI CORPORATION
>
> Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
>
> You tell them that you have none.
>
> Nobody believes you, so they bomb you and invade your
>
> country.
>
> You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.
>
>
>
> AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows.
>
> Business seems pretty good.
>
> You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
>
>
>
> A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows.
>
> The one on the left looks very attractive.
>
>
>
> A GREEK CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.
>
> You eat both of them.
>
> The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call
> the IMF.
>
> The IMF loans you two cows.
>
> You eat both of them.
>
> The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
>
> You are out getting a haircut.
>
>
>
> AN IRISH CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows
>
> One of them's a horse!