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New Scottish Census

New Scottish census records

Do you have Scottish ancestors?

Perhaps you do and you just didn't know! Search our brand new Scottish census records today and discover if you have Scottish roots.

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


George_of_Westbury Report 27 Apr 2013 12:42

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, 'This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. 'Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought.
However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and we're afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers. I'm sorry....we can't hire you.' 'But wait,' he said. 'If I take two aspirin, I'll stop winking!' 'Really? Great! Show me!' So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavored condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking. 'Well,' said the interviewer, 'that's all well and good, but this is a respectable company, and we will not have our employees womanizing all over, the country!' 'Womanizing? What do you mean? I'm a happily married man!' 'Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?' 'Oh, that,' he sighed. 'Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?'



lilybids Report 27 Apr 2013 12:48

:-D :-D :-D


OneFootInTheGrave Report 27 Apr 2013 13:12

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D


Annina Report 27 Apr 2013 14:38

Good laugh,I swear that the reason I had 5 kids was because my useless husband was too embarassed to ask for condons.

His pockets were always full of asparins!!


Annina Report 27 Apr 2013 14:39

I should have put them between my knees to hold my legs together. :-D :-D :-D


George_of_Westbury Report 27 Apr 2013 14:43

That really made me laugh, better than the joke itself :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D



Bobtanian Report 27 Apr 2013 16:15

thats where you shouldve held your Hapenny


Jean Report 27 Apr 2013 22:33

:-D :-D :-D :-D


ButtercupFields Report 27 Apr 2013 22:47

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D


terryj Report 28 Apr 2013 10:07

I was in a cafe today, and there were three very large ladies in there. Excuse me, I said, are you ladies Scottish ? One of the gave me a really dirty look and said "Wales". I'm sorry, I said, but are you three whales Scottish ?.........and that's the last thing I remembered until I woke up ! :-D