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Just a general observation

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


~Lynda~ Report 8 May 2013 10:43

Whilst looking at different boards on here, I've wondered what it's like looking on here as a new member, be it a paying one, or one who has joined and as a free member, but considering paying to ask for help re genealogy.

Although there is some wonderful help on here, I use it myself and given help, I feel that sometimes there is some "telling off" to those who may have never dabbled in genealogy before, but who ask a question, that someone thinks they shouldn't of asked, or that it's on the "wrong board"

I wonder, does this put people off asking a question, just because there are people who maybe think they know it all, there are those who have only had an interest in there history recently so are just asking a simple question, but get an off hand reply as to why they haven't seen a certain thread that answers there question, for instance years back, I asked about Irish history, and was told that there were no records, and I should know that, no I didn't, and as it turned out there were records.

This isn't a post to pick out anyone, nor is it something I have seen today, it's a view I have had for a while, so all I'm doing is asking if anyone else feels the same?


AnnCardiff Report 8 May 2013 10:47

well as someone who spends a fair bit of time on the FA board I've seen no bad attitudes to new posters and if there was I'm sure those of us who are regulars on the board would step in


Harmonyb Report 8 May 2013 11:49

I don't bother with the boards anymore, except to have a read now and again like this morning.
I have been ticked off for doing something or other wrong. One person sent me a PM saying I should stay by my computer and wait to see if I get any replies, I replied to her I am a full time carer for my brother I'm lucky if I can get on the computer in the first place.


LilyL Report 8 May 2013 11:56

Sounds familiar Harmonyb!!!!


CupCakes Report 8 May 2013 12:53

Very familar in deed. Report anybody to genes who you think is acting inappropriately.

Please don't give up on the boards - I've been trying to get a greater member participation but the feedback is just as you have written and it puts so many people off.

:-D :-D :-D

Tenerife Sun

Tenerife Sun Report 8 May 2013 13:00

I think it is better than it used to be. People are more polite and considerate now, less abrupt . It seems that for some people it is easy for them to forget that they were new once. Okay at times it can take longer to explain something to a newbie but it is worth the input as in time they will get so much enjoyment out of their tree and may go on to help others.



Cynthia Report 8 May 2013 13:24

I agree Wendy. When I first started using the board back in c2007, I was quite shocked by the attitude of some helpers.

It was the constant reprimanding of newbies for not returning to their posts which made me decide to help them, by letting them know they had received replies.

Things are a lot friendlier now. Mostly.


Tenerife Sun

Tenerife Sun Report 8 May 2013 13:31

Cynthia I like the way you pm people about their posts and how to get back to them I joined GR in 2003 and I was amazed at just how much info was available from other members. Twice after being shot down in flames I stopped using the boards but then decided to just ignore all the rude people and just keep researching. Now I love helping other people.

Joy Kentish Maid

Joy Kentish Maid Report 8 May 2013 13:33

I, too, like Cynthia's friendly and useful help that she gives to people about their posts and how to get back to them.

Actually, one doesn't have to be a member (paying or non-paying) to be able to read the boards; they are totally open to the public.


GinN Report 8 May 2013 13:51

Cynthia, when I first joined the site, I appreciated your messages, which I found helpful and friendly.



Robert Report 8 May 2013 13:54

Some weeks ago I posted on the Find Living Relatives Board and innocently put on some information that I thought would be useful in my search, only to be very severely told off for posting that information (which was not personal).
I deleted the Post and am now too scared to go on that Board.

Tenerife Sun

Tenerife Sun Report 8 May 2013 14:02

Keep posting Robert. Just ignore the people that have a go at you. There are SO many good researchers who can help you and if they think your post needs modifying they will tell you in a friendly manner and give you reasons for the need to modify


Rambling Rose

Rambling Rose Report 8 May 2013 14:11

I don't think it has changed much since I joined really, there were helpers then who gave whatever info in a 'direct manner' and those who were more 'chatty', just as in life lol.

I think some people keep their replies 'brief and to the point' sometimes without realising it can sound 'curt' because that is how the speak in 'real life' ..but equally if you are in a long thread researching you ask short questions while you are looking at a census for example....just like you would to someone in the same room as it were'" what do you know if anything,what research have you done?" can sound abrupt.

Lynda, re the Irish records...I think that was a common thing to read a while back, that there were none, but more have been put online over the last few years, and it's perhaps not everyone that has kept up to date on them? ( or are under the misapprehension that all records had been destroyed).


Patricia Report 8 May 2013 16:12

If I am at work I rarely log in [keep getting thrown off, but that’s another story] but I can still read all the boards so you do not even need to be a member. In fact one relative of mine joined only so they could contact me as a thread I had asking for information had his ancestors name in. He found it by putting his ancestors name in on Google.

I have seen some excellent answers to some questions while others are rather abrupt.
To give just one example if asking for a birth of ‘Jane Doe born c1900 London’ you may get:-
1, the actual GRO ref, - good reply
2, have a look at FreeBMD, more fun finding things for yourself, but if you get stuck come back and we’ll help – imo even better reply
3, Look/use Freebmd – the worst reply imo and possibly off putting to new members.

So far I have found most on here very helpful, but I rarely post unless I need help, but I won’t let that put me off. As in all walks of life [or message boards] we meet those that we can make friends of and others we would rather avoid.

GR is worth every penny of a sub for the help that is given willingly and freely by the helpers who often use their own subs to other sites to help, often collaborating with each other to help. Or they happily point you in the right direction for records not on GR

The reason you are asked to hang around for a short while after posting a thread is they can answer so quickly [its mind boggling how quickly] asking for a bit of clarification to the question.


~Lynda~ Report 8 May 2013 19:08

Thanks for the feedback everyone, interesting reading. :-D

Rose I'm going way back maybe 9 years re the Irish records, the person who gave me "advice" had a way of telling you that would put most people off ever asking a question again, shame because most people are extremely helpful.

I do think that sometimes a few people who answer, assume that everyone is as dedicated to genealogy as they are, some people drift in and out of genealogy, I'm someone who has stuck with it for years and love it, but realise some people do it for a while then never do it it again, so aren't so dedicated.


Harmonyb Report 8 May 2013 19:48

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who finds these boards so unfriendly.
I thought it was me putting things in the wrong place!!
I love genealogy, I've been at it for 13 years, and would love to help others.
I have helped lots of friends get started on their family research, but the thrill is in the chase, you have to sit on your hands and let them get on with it.


~Lynda~ Report 8 May 2013 19:54

Harmonyb, if you feel you'd like to help on any boards I'd say go for it. I know it can feel like you are intruding, but you're not.
We all pay to join this site, and whatever package you pay for we're all equal.

The more people who help the better the result :-D


Harmonyb Report 8 May 2013 20:07

Hi Lynda
You'll probadly right I should join in, but as I said earlier I'm a full time carer for my brother, he has downs, so I probadly wouldn't be much help on here, by the time I could get to it, it would be done and dusted.
We moved here just over a year ago and quite frankly I'm bored to tears, I have though of putting a local advert out offering help to anyone who would like some help getting started on their family history in my own time.
There was a club here that started in november for genealogy, but we were off to the states for three months by the time we got back it had disappeared so I guess it didn't take off.


+++DetEcTive+++ Report 8 May 2013 20:13

HarmonyB - just jump in when you can. No one 'helper' has ownership of a thread and if it appears that you have had to abandon it, then someone else, or 2, or 3, will step in.
The same applies when a contributor has had to go off to rescue the potatoes, feed the dog, collect the children etc!

The best thing about helping out on threads is that we all have something to contribute - a different way of thinking, or resources.


~Lynda~ Report 8 May 2013 20:48

You're right there Det :-D

Harmonyb, being a full time carer is mentally challenging, as well as physical job, helping out with genealogy problems, when you can, would be a good thing for you to do, as you can stop when your needed by your brother, then pick up again when you can.

Your idea about helping someone out locally sounds great to.

As a carer you need time for you, you work hard, why not give it a go, you deserve it