Hobbies and Crafts

Ann I've attached a previous piece of mine to a PM to Errol, give you a bit more chance to think up some ideas for the first new assignment :-)

Oops, sorry Rose, yes it is, I always did get your e mail names muddled in my mind. Thanks for sending another piece.

Errol, disregard the poem attributed to rose, it was written by Maggie who sadly left GR.

Well I haven't heard from Jan, my guess she is tackling her garden. However, I need to get on so I will suggest the two assignments.

Assignment 1 due by 15 June

'COLOUR'
Up to 500 words, prose or poem. Free writing if you like as long as a colour is mentioned somewhere.

Assignment 2 due by 29 June

'SECRETS' 'THE SECRET' 'A SECRET'.

Again up to 500 words, prose or poem.


Does anyone have any problems with either of these? :-)

Easy mistake Ann given the names. It is a shame Maggie has left, her poems and pictures were always a lovely combination.

HI I am happy with fortnightly, also like ideas, but I know that if one doesnt come then I am sure no one would mind another story. I actually found it better with topics, if that is any help to new comers.I am also very heavlly into poetry , so would a poem be OK if the muse does not come for a story..... I have changed my e mail so will mail you Ann with new one..

We too have a collard dove sitting on a "nest" in our hawthorn tree, on the edge of our drive, we too were gardening under her...no reaction at all.

Rose and Jan, we almost cross posted so the assignment is below your posts.

Have picked up topics, good choice....

Thanks Ann, and email list received thanks, my email is correct :-D

wanders off to think!

Good afternoon All :-D and thanks for email Ann I've just replied.
I think fortnightly contribution should be okay.... albeit slowly if away etc.? and no problem with subject suggestions.

I'm sorry to learn Maggie has left GR as I loved her poems and she often inspired me.

Welcome to Errol and Perse :-) ...I'll send my stories/poems out to you both (hoping you'll be kind lol )
Mau xx

Have sent e-mail Ann.

Emma :-)

I wonder if everyone has seen the topics for the first 2 for fortnightls.

I've written the first one Ann lol, though I may decide to change it , or ditch it altogether and go for a prose piece.

Would be lovely if some more members could be persuaded to have a go or to read :-)

Wish I could think what to write, good at ideas not good at carrying them out lol!

Just a bit of light relief, copied from somewhere, that may help us along. If we can continue to laugh at ourselves, we should never be too sad.

IDIOSYNCRASIES OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

The following deals with words that are spelt the same but have very different meanings and, in some instances, sounds -

The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when does are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
He sure "got my goat" = "He sure made me angry"
Since the honoree is present at present, he thinks he should present the present presently.

Let's face it -- English is a crazy language & we love it just like it is.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. (Note: The term 'Horsemeat' is banned by the Government).

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that -
Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't a preacher praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. But then, we'd miss all this!

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites?

How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another.

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?

Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown?

Met a sung hero or experienced requited love?

Have you ever run into someone who was, gruntled, ruly or peccable?

And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all).

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And the moon only shines on a bright night.

And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up an essay, I end it.

And if her-in-doors is wound up, well - maybe I'd better not go there!

As a final note -
I plough on thoroughly through the rough although I cough and hiccough.

Lol Dermot thank you, I shall study that later.

Lord,Dermot, so much thought, but what I expected from you...look forward to your contributions


Jan

I am hoping that everyone saw the assignments?

Got them, thanks Ann :-) <3

Nudging up for someone to look at :-)

How are you all getting on?!