General Chat

RR...l feel for you, but it sounds to me as though you have to be cruel to be kind.
Good luck!!


jude x

RR...sounds like she may have a memory prob too, if she thinking no one has visited for ages etc.....you can have memory tests organised via the DR and if you are concerned you can ring her Dr>

jude x

Sorry Kay cross posted with you there, I think age concern is the answer, it's just difficult as the move has to come from her, although I have known her all my life I'm not related and feel that because she is more my mum's age than mine it isn't really for me to tell her what to do ( much as I might like to lol).

Jude, she doesn't have memory problems I'm pretty sure, what she is really saying is 'I have no family' and there is unfortunately nothing that can change that. She does see people and she does remember doing so, but they're not 'close' and there's probably an element of 'if I say I don't see anyone I get more sympathy', which sounds a bit harsh of me but is true I think.

I have no sympathy for her whatsoever Rose. I had an old neighbour like that. he ran his son down for not visiting but it turned out that whenever he phoned up said son bemoaning the fact that he hadn't seen anyone in weeks and the son rushed over to see him, he was busy with visitors.

He lied all the time about never seeing anyone just to make people feel sorry for him and got quite rude to those who did all they could for him.....I am afraid we fell out after a time of him using us at every opportunity and then running us down behind our backs.......My advice would be to have a word with whoever needs to know.....let her know that you cannot always be there and to talk it over with the powers that be......don't go on a guilt trip which is what it seems she is sending you on......You can only do what you can, you cannot help her with her whole life.

RR....mmm this is all to familiar to me with my sister. She does sort of have memory probs but when l have ago at her she remembers and does things on her own.!!
l sympathize completely with you:((

jude x

Rose,

Power of suggestion works,,,:))

Ah well Susan , me and 'guilt trips' go together like strawberries and cream ;-) lol.

I have been saying for weeks and months 'if you want I'll come up and help with.....' everything from a spring clean to helping her find somewhere else to live if she wants to ( she needs to as she can't manage stairs really). Sheltered housing would be best but as they say 'you can lead a horse to water..... :-)

Thankyou Jude, :-)

Kay the 'power of suggestion' might work if I told her it came via a psychic medium :-)

RR...you must also think of yourself, l am now seeing the Dr and a counsellor, there are other issues for sister to deal with, but basically she is lonely but l can't do everything for her, or involve her in everything l do!....soooooo take care of number one:))

jude xx