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Adoption

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Louise

Louise Report 8 Jul 2013 22:17

Just watched long lost family's, gets me every time. I think I've found my birth mother, and have sent a message, but no reply. Is there no other way I can make contact ?
:-(

Rambling Rose

Rambling Rose Report 8 Jul 2013 22:26

Is it on here you have sent the message Louise? If so has it been opened, the envelope will show if it hasn't.

jax

jax Report 8 Jul 2013 22:38

As mentioned on your thread on living relatives...It looks like her sister has a tree, but not seeing one for your birth mother

Who have you sent a message to?

Louise

Louise Report 8 Jul 2013 22:56

Thanks ramblingrose ill check that,
And Jax, my birth mother has been added on somebody else's, so I've sent them a message and also sent one to her sister, I just think you'd only go on here, if you wanted to be traced or were looking for someone, maybe I'm being naive.

Louise

Louise Report 8 Jul 2013 22:59

Well I've just checked, and none of the envelopes have been opened, so maybe I'm jumping the gun, i need more patience, thanks for telling me x

MR_MAGOO

MR_MAGOO Report 8 Jul 2013 23:01

Be patient Louise.

It maybe a bit of a shock to them that you have made contact and they're taking it in.

Porkie_Pie

Porkie_Pie Report 8 Jul 2013 23:02

Louise, Whilst members on GR do help people trace Living relatives the sites main purpose is Genealogy/family history

Genealogy is the study of families and the tracing of their lineages and history.

Good luck with your search

Roy

Louise

Louise Report 8 Jul 2013 23:09

Thanks guys, patience it is lol :-D

~Lynda~

~Lynda~ Report 8 Jul 2013 23:25

Roy is the main purpose of the site Family history, after all Genes sponsor Long Lost families?

Louise, my friends daughter found her on GR, by just one message, she answered within hours, so every case is different, probably according to circumstances.

I hope you make contact, and the outcome is successful as my friends was.

Good Luck :-D

Louise

Louise Report 8 Jul 2013 23:30

Thank you Linda, I feel abit better knowing my messages haven't yet been looked at x

eRRolSheep

eRRolSheep Report 8 Jul 2013 23:31

Lynda I think the giveaway is where GR use the strapline "Discover your family history online today with Genes Reunited. Find your ancestors and create your own family tree online."

Louise some sensible things have been said and unfortunately, it can take a lot of patience.
Having been down that route myself I am more than happy to share my experiences with you via PM

~Lynda~

~Lynda~ Report 8 Jul 2013 23:58

Louise, the site is used for both family trees, and finding your family, the facilities are here for you to use the records however you choose to use them. My friend put her details on here purely for her daughter to contact her, if that is what she wished, absolutely nothing to do with family history purposes, six years after she left a message, she was contacted by her daughter, after her daughter had watched an episode of Long Lost families, she then looked on here straight after the programme, found a message for her, and she replied straight away, all because of watching Long Lost families.

One of the reasons Genes sponsor that programme, is that they offer the facilities for you to find relatives. My friend has been asked to send in her story to Genes to put on there Home page, where you will find other stories from adopted children and birth parents.

Every adoption is different, as is every story, it is for the birth family and/or the child to do what they feel is the right course for them to follow, go with your heart to do what you feel is right, obviously having first thought about possible problems, which I'm sure you have.

Also don't forget that email addresses change, so they may not have been notified by GR that they have a message waiting for them, but I hope they look in on GR soon and see they have a message from you.


:-D

eRRolSheep

eRRolSheep Report 9 Jul 2013 00:05

Louise there are many reasons why a message may not be looked at and many of them, but not all, are genuine reasons.
May I contact you via PM?

jax

jax Report 9 Jul 2013 00:13

As far as I can see only her sister has a tree on here...no one has your mother in a tree...unless I am missing something??

Her sisters account is quite new (in the last 6 months or so) so she probably has not changed her email address...but she may not be checking her emails on a regular basis

Louise

Louise Report 9 Jul 2013 08:19

Yes Errolsheep, you can contact me. But I'm new to this so not sure how to read a pm, unless it comes in my message box.
And Jax I think you may be right, I'm just clutching at straws :-D

Mersey

Mersey Report 9 Jul 2013 08:45

Hi Louise.....

Just wait and see and you might be pleasantly suprised. Just give it time, you never know....

I made contact on here with a relative, sent a message and it did take a while before they opened it, even when opened they where very unsure of us being relatives, after a day or so it was all explained and we are now in constant contact. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't but it certainly is worth ago, just don't be too disappointed if the message is not opened or you do not get a reply straight away.....

By the way your message box is your pm...you will get used to it on here the more you take a look around and with lovely people on here you should have no worries, you will be moving forward and enjoying before you know it.....

I wish you all the luck, and never ever be worried to ask questions, some of us are still learning even after all the years we have been on here.....

Mersey :-)

Penny

Penny Report 9 Jul 2013 08:57

You say she is on her sisters tree, her sister possibly didn't ask her ( as you should living relatives) if they mind their name going on here.

her sister may not even know she had you - who knows!

is the name common or have you researched it really carefull and are certain its the right person ?

Louise

Louise Report 9 Jul 2013 09:36

Yes I'm certain it's the right person, I already have her birth certificate so I know it's the right Barbara, and I have done some research in the library's so I'm quite sure, I know her maiden name and have found her mother and fathers marriage certificate etc. and also details of her sister and that of her brother, but I've gone as far as I can. Hence joining GR. I appreciate everyone's comments on here, some are supportive and very useful, so thank you. I shall continue to search, as it's something I need to do.
Not everyone will understand my reasons, and I respect that. ;-)

Porkie_Pie

Porkie_Pie Report 9 Jul 2013 09:40

Lynda,

"Roy is the main purpose of the site Family history, after all Genes sponsor Long Lost families?"

Yes the main purpose of this site is Family history,

GR Holds historical records they don't hold currant electoral rolls or any adoption records, phone books and the like all of which are required when tracing living people who gave up children for adoption

I wish Louise all the luck she deserves but my personal opinion on contacting Long lost family members by adopted people or mothers who gave their children up for adoption then first contact should not be a PM on a web site,

This is a specialist area and should be done by an experienced intermediary

A mistake? could be devastating for one or both parties if not handled correctly


Roy


Louise

Louise Report 19 Jul 2013 07:38

For anyone who's been watching my threads, here's an update, thanks to GR, my birth mothers sister was on here.
She has made contact with me, and subsequently I have now met my birth mother, and will be doing again.
It was the outcome I've always wanted. Ill be coming off this site now, but for the people who offered their support and help, I thank you. And the people who were less than helpful, I thank you also, cause all you did was made me more determined. To Errol The Sheep, a huge thank you. For listening and offering words of wisdom that I listened to.
Lou x :-D