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Replies to enquires

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


Wendy Report 7 Feb 2014 15:25

Why can't people have the courtesy to reply to requests sent about matches in their tree? Over the past few weeks I have received several enquiries and always reply, even if it's not good news for that person. However on the other hand I have sent several requests to people with matches in my tree and not one person has got back to me. It's so frustrating, if they can't be bothered to reply to people then they shouldn't have a tree on the site! :-|


+++DetEcTive+++ Report 7 Feb 2014 15:42

Its the old, old story Wendy - an untended tree is never removed from the site by GR.

People die, lose interest, change their usual email address without registering the new one with GR, they're ill, busy or away from home!!!

Assuming that they have read the message (check your out box for to see if there is still a closed envelope symbol) then they are probably too busy or even uninterested enough to reply.


Wendy Report 7 Feb 2014 16:22

Thanks for your reply DetEcTive. All 10 messages sent since 15th December still have a closed envelope at their side so, don't suppose I'm going to get anywhere with my queries. C'est la vie I suppose!


+++DetEcTive+++ Report 7 Feb 2014 16:30

Best to move on - you might get a reply at a (much) later date :-0 ;-)


Dame*Shelly*("\(*o*)/") Report 7 Feb 2014 16:41

Wendy there is still hope yet as on another thead that is ten years old
some one as come along and posted to say that thay are a relly to the person that
the thread was about

so two people have now been put to gether afther all this time to chat about there ancesters happy ending :-D

so just maybe some one will come back and open your PMs

Good Luck Shelly xxx

Budgie Rustler

Budgie Rustler Report 7 Feb 2014 16:41

I have old sent messages too, been there unopened for ages.

Does anyone know... IF, I delete them before they`re opened does the recipients not get them then? :-S

I`m past wanting any replies now anyway. :-)


+++DetEcTive+++ Report 7 Feb 2014 16:51

They get hidden if you delete the person in your contact list, but would reappear if you resume contact (again)


Wendy Report 7 Feb 2014 17:27

One of the people I have been trying to contact said in the match that we had been in touch previously but I cannot find any correspondence with her at all. It's very seldom I delete my contacts. They are only deleted when we have both corresponded and have nothing in common!

All I was wanting was the maiden name of a James Booth b.1830. in Sheffield His wife was called Sarah but there are two marriages - Wilson and Heald and cannot find proof of either name. Bit expensive to start sending off for certs. before I actually know which one it is.


+++DetEcTive+++ Report 7 Feb 2014 17:41

If there was a child, what about the BC for him/her??


UzziInSunshine Report 7 Feb 2014 18:27

Wendy when I 1st started I sent a query and after over 6mths got a reply. The person who´s tree it was wasn´t pc happy so waited for brother to contact me.
Happy to say we have met, phone regular and I will see her when I go to Sheffield in May. Keep hoping that one day someday 1 may contact you.
Also as you mention Sheffield have you thought about coming to the meet in May. ??
Well I had to try ! :-D


Wendy Report 7 Feb 2014 20:22

They had 3 children but don't think the mother's maiden name is shown on the certificate before 1911, they were born between 1855 and 1862.

UzziinSunshine, thanks for the invite but don't get to Sheffield much now - do a lot through Sheffield Indexers, Elaine is one of my rellys. You and I already share trees on Genes but don't ask me what connection we have at the moment!


UzziInSunshine Report 7 Feb 2014 21:11

Shame you can´t make it Wendy, there hopefully will be a few of my offshoot family about


+++DetEcTive+++ Report 7 Feb 2014 23:04

Re the birth certificate - what you see on the GRO index, is just that, an index. The full certificate you can buy using the references will show the mothers name, her maiden name (or former name) as well as the father's if known.

Admittedly the problem may be identifying the correct one to order!


maggiewinchester Report 8 Feb 2014 01:05

My sister isn't interested in genealogy, but my late brother in law occasionally 'dabbled'. The pertinent word is 'late'. Sister didn't know he had a tree on here - neither did I (why would I be looking up his tree?). It was only by chance I found it 3 years after his death. I asked GR to remove it - which they have. Unfortunately, I couldn't 'hack' into his account to see if he had any messages.
When my mum died I again asked GR to remove her tree (even though our trees were strangely familiar :-D)
That is a problem. Someone dies - NoK have no idea where trees etc are on the internet - or passwords, so trees languish.

Click ADD REPLY button - not this link!

Click ADD REPLY button - not this link! Report 8 Feb 2014 01:17

Those marriages are 3 years apart.

The Heald marriage was at the end of 1855. Have you looked on the 1861 census to see when the children were born?

If it's the family with George Thomas, you can see his birth was before the 1855 marriage, so you could conclude it might be the Wilson one.



LadyScozz Report 8 Feb 2014 01:20

I was away for a while, came back to find a few messages in my GR inbox.

Two from one person, the first enquiring about names (which were matches with mine), the second message was awful, he was obviously upset that I hadn't replied to him (time frame was about three weeks) and was quite abusive.

I responded to the second message, let him know I was away because my mother had died, and I didn't appreciate his comments.

He didn't respond.

I've given up trying to contact anyone on GR, even with HotMatches.


Wendy Report 8 Feb 2014 12:00

Hi Rose,
Yes I came to the same conclusion in the end. Because they were not immediate family I didn't fancy spending money on a cert. just to find out, but I have gone with the Wilson bit. Thanks for your input.

To maggiewinchester, I appreciate what you are saying, it is a pity that people don't leave passwords etc. for relatives to find their trees - all that effort.

To LadyScozz, that is terrible, I would never think of sending abusive messages to anyone, if they don't reply, then it could be their loss as well.

Thank you all for your replies, I am not following this post any more.