General Chat

Fred was a great gardener in his time and, for much of his later working life he emptied cesspits, all of the ones in our village.

He didn't dislike flowers but had little time for them. His love was shrubs and vegetables and he was known as an incorrigible thief where shrubs were concerned. Cuttings would be plundered and passed to somebody else, nothing was safe from Fred and his beady eye.

For his entire working life, or, at least, as far back as I can remember, he took two bacon sandwiches, a lump of bread and cheese and two Thermos flasks of tea with a Ribena bottle filled with milk in his dinner bag.

For his funeral, cremation, I am hoping to get the church hall for the wake. Rather than pay (already) for an over- priced florists flower coffin topper, I have arranged with a lady from the WI who was often in receipt of an illicit cutting from him, to make a coffin topper with vegetables and to gather as many cuttings from as many recipients as she can to incorporate in it. I thought we might take it back to the hall and have a bit of compost , some yogurt pots and rooting powder somewhere behind the piano so that people can take some to plant in his memory.

I have also suggested we serve bacon sandwiches and, naturally, sausage sandwiches as well, because they were so important to his life. I thought we might , perhaps, just pass on the tea that had festered in the Thermos for hours!

Fabulous Sharron, exactly what Fred would want, no use in wasting money on something that's inappropriate, just because that's what's considered "the norm"

It shows you REALLY knew Fred, not just knew him

As for the Thermos idea, think you're right to ignore that bit :-)

Hope you're bearing up Sharron, at a really difficult time.

Don't forget to look after yourself, Fred would want that eh <3

I think Fred will be looking down, smiling and his presence will be felt at a tailor made celebration of his life. I love the idea of people taking away cuttings to plant in his memory xxx

I am fine thanks Lynda.

He died of ninety-four, he was ready, I was ready, he slipped gently away. No trauma at all.

Do you know, I am not even sad.

It was a completion rather than an end.

what a lovely idea Sharron - we shall all miss the stories of Fred's escapades and the world is a poorer place without him in it <3 <3 <3

Glad you're fine Sharron, feeling that way means you know the time was right for Fred to slip off to his garden in the sky.

I'm sure you will have your sad moments, but there will many more times, when you will think of a Fred antic and smile, I know I will never be able to eat a sausage sandwich again without thinking of dear Fred :-D

Love the coffin topper idea! You could even turn the veggies into a soup to be distributed at a later date.

For her daughters coffin, a friend collected hedgerow flowers and foliage from favourite places. As the family arrived at the house, they added a few from their own hedgerows into the wreath.

Do take care of yourself....your grieving may not kick in until you have to sort out his room <3

You've still got me.

I know,you can't have everything!

I always find it hard to put my thoughts into words but
Sharron what a wonderful send off that will be for Fred <3

You never fail to amaze me Sharron. You have come up with wonderful, original ideas for Fred's funeral. I agree wholeheartedly with what you say about not wasting money on over-priced flowers/wreaths. You even manage a touch of humour once more.
When my aunty died, I decided not to have wreaths etc. for her funeral,but made my own bunches of pretty,sweet-smelling flowers & asked everyone else to do the same.
Don't forget to take care of YOU now,. Hope your o.h and Fred's ever faithful mate will be o.k too. X

A lovely idea Sharron, perfect for Fred.

I suppose we will have to have a hymn.

I don't know what he liked in that line, he never said, but I like 'Lord of All Hopefulness'.

That'll do for him!

How about a couple of verses of 'Morning has broken'?
If its not too disrespect, 'What shall we do with a drunken sailor' to celebrate his love of an evening tot, his Arctic Convoy years and the scallywag-wag he sometimes appeared to be. As Exit music, everyone would leave with a smile on their face. :-D

I like the idea but the music doesn't quite feel right in my mind on first thought.

The only song I know he liked because he happened to mention it and he did play it whenI bought it for him was "The Spinning Wheel" but that sticks and everybody would be humming at the bacon buttyfest.

I don't think I will have it but wouldn't "Wheels On Fire" (rolling down the road) be appropriate?

That sounds absolutely perfect , well done. <3

Respect to you Sharron for arranging such an appropriate send off for Fred, which I am sure would meet with his full approval :-)

Including his favourite snacks in the food for the wake reminds me of the gathering after the funeral of my 96 year old uncle.... it was held in a rather posh venue but his daughters had laid on proper 'cockney fare' including jellied eels :-D

Look after yourself Sharron it is time now for you to care for carer

Jo x

I don't think he will do it but I would like Fred's mate to walk in with the coffin too.

Once again I have to smile, this time about Wheels of Fire....but, also have a lump in my throat at you mentioning The Spinning Wheel...it is a song my elderly, very frail aged uncle used to often sing to me.He used to have a wonderful voice....


Eileen x

It's good to see you posting Sharron.

Be kind to yourself. X

Thanks Island.

Now, I really must get my act together. There isn't half a bit to do down there!