General Chat

Did it!

I went out and drove round the village today.

Onward and upward.

Hotham Park. That little seat next to Humpty Dumpty. I have not sat in that for some time.There's a little train too and I don't know if they still have the zoo.

Can't really believe my own stupidity. I spent seven years thinking up things to stop Fred getting bored and depressed but it just never occurred to me that I might also be boredom might be affecting me.

Ooh Bognor brings back childhood memories (& courting ones too), easy train ride from Fareham via Portsmouth in those days). I remember a park that had all sorts of little models in for children, like the old woman's shoe etc. I must have been about 8/9. Yeh, go wild visit bognor, lots of coffee shops there I bet.

Come to think of it, there is a cafe down the road and they do coffees in the information centre too.

I was thinking of striking out to more exotic places, maybe even Bognor!

Oh but a bird sanctuary is good too. As Mary says take a flask and breath in the air. Don't think I have been to Pagham although might have been as a child. Did once have a boyfriend who came, I think from Birdham.

Sharron, breathe some good sea air for me while you're at the harbour! Take some tea in a thermos and breathe in the air. Boredom is such a downer, but not unexpected after all those busy years. So hard to take the first step. Your friends on here are with you, cheering you on. Your decision re medications is yours, we can offer our thoughts and / or experience but it is your decision, together with your doc. I no longer worry that I have to take my meds, they are just part of daily routine. I miss the sea air, being stuck in the middle of a large continent doesn't allow much salty, cleansing air into one's lungs!! I now have a good-sized river near me, about 2 blocks away, and do find walking beside the water is calming. Have a good day. Hugs <3

No boats, it's a bird sanctuary, Pagham Harbour. No cafe either.

There is one gastro pub on the harbour but I couldn't afford their prices anyway.

May have to venture beyond the village for a cup of tea.

What a good idea Sharron to drive round the village, you can keep us up to date with village goings on!! Is there a cafe near the harbur? I love the small harbours, even if they are mud, and can't resist taking my camera around them when I am near one. I have many a photo of boats on mud, although I prefer it when the tide is in of course. :-) Good luck and keep us up to date with your progress.

I sincerely hope you all overcome eventually or endure your problems.

Thank you for your support. I thought that, if I threw it on to here for the consideration of others, I might get some different perspectives.

The doctor is with me all the way on what I am doing, he approves and is open to negotiations should I ever consider the need for medication.

I think the glossy one , AnninGlos, has given me the insight I need. If you recall, I always said I was stir crazy when Fred was alive and I think that might be the problem now, not going out and being bored.

As a beginning I have decided that I might have a bit of a drive every day, even if it is only round the village, and then see where that progresses. There are places that sell cups of tea in the world I believe and I have a lovely harbour, albeit entirely mud, to walk around as I start to feel more like it.

Onward and upward!

Just have to add, how good to see Mary on here and what a really useful post too. Mary (sorry to 'take over' your query Sharron but do see what Mary has said), So pleased to hear that you sound as if you are on the up. Your situation was similar to Sharron's in that you both had all your time accounted for and then you didn't. <3

Sharron, very well done on getting as far as you have. I wonder if your symptoms are down to all the stress you were under, and your body not adjusting to less stress. I think boredom from not having Fred to organise could be to blame too.

If you tried some counselling, you might find it helps but give it time and ask to change if you don't feel comfortable with the counsellor.

If you sleep a lot and don't get outside much, get your doctor to check your vit d levels. I have to take a high dose of vit d (take with magnesium or zinc to help absorbtion) Adcal which is often prescribed isn't really good enough. Sometimes you can have vit d jabs

I hope you can find some way to take a further step towards getting your life back to the way you want.

Lizxx

Dear Sharron, I've been on one med or another for the best part of 50 years, maybe longer - as I keep forgetting I am almost 72 !! Attempted suicide twice, once in my teens and once in my 40's, and considered it several other times. I have a chemical imbalance, that's what depression is. Sometimes a situational episode may be the initial cause ("reactive depression"), but with chronic depression the imbalance has become the issue. In times of extreme stress ,symptoms may re-occur or be exacerbated.. My guess would be that you are dealing with depression and/or anxiety (which may/may not be a disorder on its own). Please hear what your doctor says and suggests, after all there's no point perhaps in going for a specialist's opinion if we have no intention of listening to it.
Sounds like, after many years of ongoing stress, it's like you don't know what to do with yourself without the frantic pace and anxiety of previous days. I hope you are able to recall some of the humourous episodes with which you regaled us a few years back ( I recall stories of berry picking and a very wet bathroom). have you considered writing down some of those memories, it allows you to chuckle as you remember.
You are aware of the many years during which I had all of my grandchildren living with me and the high stress levels under which I was functioning. The past year I have been lower than I have been for a long time - it began in the desperate winter we had. It occurred to me recently that I had lost much of my reason for getting up in the morning and doing something constructive, as I also retired at the time the 4kids and their Mum and the huge autism service dogs moved to their own premises, and of course financial pressures are never-ending, despite my buying a lottery ticket here and there!! A few weeks ago, on a bright sunny day, when I was feeling "up", I looked into volunteering at a local charity shop, and they happily welcomed me. I began with one morning a week, and quickly added a second, now I am up to 3. That has been a Godsend to my mental health. I am no longer reclining on the sofa for hours at a time, falling asleep in the daytime and being up half the night, not eating anything but bread and marmalade, not going for a walk, forgetting to bath or shower, sleeping in a chair, ignoring my indoor plants and garden and ignoring all my friends. I am back to life, I can't get back the hours I have wasted but can move forward now - I have a purpose, adult conversation, laughter, the feeling of helping etc etc. Sending you HUGE hugs. Feel free to email me off-list if you wish, I will be offline Mon-Wed this week but otherwise available. Good luck. God bless.
<3

I take Venlafaxine [Effexor] and my GP allows me to use them as I think fit - if I start to feel a bit iffy, or if my friend tells me I am, I increase them for a short while and then revert back to the low dose - tried years back to stop them altogether with my GP's guidance, but couldn't do it - you can take them for the rest of your life he said, no problem with that

I spent a lot of my teens on Librium, quite a high dose too as I recall when I was not ill at all, just living with a mad woman, and I can remember feeling that I was just dealing with the same things from a different place through a fog.

I did ask if there was something I could have to take when the going was particularly tough but it seems you have to take them all the time. Of course there is no shame in taking medication if you are ill but I am just reacting, I think.

Things have come out quite slowly and it has been quite an interesting experience, albeit not one I would choose and I am currently going through the having to cut my food into little pieces bit again.

as you know, I have clinical depression diagnosed after I attempted suicide years back - I've been on medication ever since and will continue to take until I pop my clogs - it works, as I weathered the untimely death of my husband better than I thought I would - there's no shame in taking medication. I think you have done incredibly well to get where you are - why not see if some medication will improve things for you somewhat. If not, you can always stop taking it - give it a go and see what happens. Without mine I dread to think there I'd be now <3 <3 <3

Ann, thank you.

Boredom. I think you have it. The one I had not considered.

I have been supported by my doctor and he has let me do it my way, after all, I know the problem best. He knew I wasn't expecting him to prescribe miraculous medication but there is some support available if I need it, including counselling, I only have to ask.

Really, I am wondering whether to ask for some medication to get me through this bit but, now you have mentioned boredom, I have another avenue to explore.

I have not ever suffered from depression but I want to say that you have done well to get to where you are now. I think, only you can know if you would accept help if it is depression. If the doctor prescribed medication for it would you take it? Sleeping a lot is a sign I believe, of depression, I think it can also be of boredom too though. Would you talk to a counsellor if given the opportunity? Do you actually want help? Only you will know that. Bear in mind that we are going into the darker months, if winter usually affects you will it make it harder for you to cope? Are you able to chat to your doctor and ask his/her opinion as to your next move. Anyway, well done for getting here. Maybe the cloud will lift if you can get your finances sorted out. :-) <3

As you know, I lost the plot last year but decided to do it ny way, with the approval of my doctor who has given up trying to get me to take medication without a very good reason.

By way of steadfastly not doing what I didn't like the look of , not trying to push through the mental blocks that stopped me doing other things, drinking tea by the gallon, eating toffees by the hundredweight (with full knowledge of my doctor), knitting dishcloths and lolling in lavender baths for prolonged periods I have moved on pretty well.

Having lived with what I now know to have been unusually high stress levels since I was left to the tender care of my mother at the age of six and spent all of that time devising ways to obtain a little respite, I now have almost no stress in my life. Strange is not the word for it.

A lot of the anger is gone now as well and I can now look at many bad memories with a degree of dispassion never possible before. I am working through them.

There is still something left that is holding me back from getting on out there and hitting the world again. I think it might be depression but it is not how I felt when I was treated for depression as a teenager. That, I think, was despair rather than depression and it certainly doesn't feel like that.

I sleep too much, can't get motivated, even if I want to but I am not unhappy.

Is this depression? Do I finally concede defeat and ask for help to overcome what I think is one of the later stages of healing or do I give it a bit longer?

Most people on here know about depression so please tell me what you think.

Thank you.

thanx everyone my doctor had been nagging me for ages to lose the weight n tried so many times and giving up but I was in hospital last year after a asthma attack and the consultant sat me down and I don't no what but something just clicked and started my local slimming world and the rest is history lol