General Chat

You are not a fraud though are you Ann, you have been through this earlier and now are on a level where it is controlled. I've been called in for my tea now so see you later.

Caz xx

Hi ladies!
Really busy today getting house back after having carpet fitted Thursday, and boiler and new water tank fitted Fri/ Sat.
The house has all been upside down. Brick dust settling everywhere. And now I have hot water again
I can wash down. I don't know how I coped the last few days. Think I might reach for the diazapam to relax me a bit. I also have a long trip to work in the morning so not looking forward to that. It means I wont sleep well tonight.

Just popped on inbetween putting stuff away. Suprise there you all were at the top. It's very humbling to read. I agree it will be great when we see those that need help helping others joining in.

Must get on lots to do. Love to you all Carole xx

I would just like to say having read Colleen's post about papers and unopened envelopes everywhere, that I have the same. Thank god for DD or I would be in trouble.

I have been offered help to sort this but feel too embarrassed to accept the help.

Fi

I'm having a good day, despite the current hole in the ceiling!! Avoiding the last papers because I found too many with money owing - can't handle any more!!!! LOL
I am emptying the last boxes of china into the cupboard which was finally hung yesterday. Also hanging pictures - the very last box to unpack from our move in November. In our last house we had boxes we never opened in 3 years, and proceeded to move them here, they are emptied YAY!!
decluttering has to become a daily thing for me - I plan to incorporate 15 mins of decluttering into my morning routine, hopefully my good intentions will last.
I am minding my 9 yo granddaughter (the one with autism) as Mummy is having a window repaired. She is having a wonderful time in the bath, squealing and laughing, even took my papier mache angel off the wall and gave her a swim. She's a softer angel than once she was!!
have a good day everyone,
love
Mary

Fi, don't be embarrassed about accepting, people don't offer to help if they don't mean it. Whoever offered must want to help you. Do the sensible thing and say yes.

Caz xx

Thank you Caz. I said yes but never arrange when it should be done.

Fi go for the help, you are not the first they have seen nor will you be the last. If you accept their help it will surely take some of the awful weight off you that you are feeling under. That will help stop tension and headaches. (Bet you have them)
Think about it again
Love Carole xx

Fi - now pay attention - are you sitting up straight!!!! I'm old enough to be your Mum I am sure so let me tell you something. I am always offering to help people cos I like helping people. If I am turned down I feel awful. I have a very dear friend of 85 years of age and he has the most awful health problems. But will he accept my help with anything? No he will not. I have now told him that by accepting my help it will be him doing me a favour not the other way around. So my advice to anyone who is offered help - take it, even if you don't really need. Now you do really need it young lady, so take it please or we will all bombard you with pm's and invade your dreams at night until you do. That's not a threat it's a promise. If Carolina could manage against all her fears to take her medication, you can accept help!! Got that!!!

Ann XXX

Oh my goodness Ann!!! Are you trying to scare Fi to death!!? How are you? I'm off to bed now. Had a stressful few days. Dreading tomorrows journey to work without imodium. I have to travel an hour and a half with two pasengers. I'll be awake all night worrying. Tempting to take imodium but been off it five months and would feel sick swallowing them, it repulses me. Well see you soon love Carole xx

Fi, I couldn't get back last night. If you are still with us after Anns little talk, (he he, she is lovely really), let me tell you a story. A few years back we lived next to an old man, a german who had been captured during the war and couldn't get home because of the Berlin wall. He was missing for a few days then came to tell us he had been in hospital, we got talking and he said he wanted to go home because the wall had come down. He hadn't seen his wife or son since the war and he broke down. Next day he came to tell me a second hand man had offered him £25 for all his furnature, I asked him if I could have a look to make sure he wasn't being done. Well when I got into the house, and they were big Victorian terraces, I had to squeeze sideways to get through the passages he had left to get round. You have never seen anything like it in your life, a passage to kitchen and front room, then one to the telly. the kitchen one went to the tiny cooker and sink and a chair. It was the same upstairs, but what surprised me was the furnature, lots of it and all antique. I was furious and told him I would get a friend of mine to come and see him, Tony was an antiques auctioneer. Herbert told me that the man was coming tomorrow for the stuff and he had given him the key to get in as Herbert would be at hospital.
Tony came round that same night and he nearly collapsed in shock. the house was full of antiques, a lot more than I had seen. It was worth a lot of thousands, so I had put myself in the position of watching out for this second hand man coming and stopping him taking it.
Well the furnature was taken away by Tony in three big vanloads, then he came round to me and said I had better go have a look now. aw, I couldn't believe it, there were thousands of books and a lot were collectors books, so I spent a couple of weeks sorting them into sets and tying them up, eg,one set of four books about Egypt went for £300, and there were a lot like that. They all went to the saleroom,then I could start by clearing his
newspapers that went back donkeys years. The salesroom sold all the furnature and books, and Herbert had thousand of pounds now, he bought a big van with tears in his eyes. I had to get my family involved with loading the van with what he said he wanted to take with him.We saw him off one morning back on his way home after all those long years of being on his own. I had been introduce to the new owner who was a builder and he said it was ok for me to take time going through the rest for personal things to take to Herberts solicitor to send on. It took me ten weeks and lord knows how many black bags for the rubbish.
But do you know, it was one of the hardest times I have ever had, but one that made me feel so good that I had helped an old man to get back to his family. There is a nice ending to this, Herberts sister had a friend who lived in the Midland here, they were there one day visiting and herbert was there, these friends came all the way up to our house to tell me that Herbert is telling anyone who would listen how if it wasn't for me he wouldn't be there now. That meant a lot to me hearing that.
So girly, don't ever be embarrassed or turn any help down, I think I got the most pleasure out of helping Herbert to go home, than he did at going home.
I know it's long but I wanted you to get the idea of how bad the house was.

Caz xx

I have been asked to add this thought to this wonderful thread, i havent added, but i have been reading, and do understand a lot of things that have been said,
I have suffered and still do with bouts of depression, for which i take medication, and panic attacks can be horrendous sometimes,
I will add when i am ready to but please just read the quote and remember it

hugs to you all xxLynnxx




If someone listens, or stretches out a hand, or whispers a word of encouragement, or attempts to understand a lonely person, extraordinary things begin to happen. !!!

Caz... you have me in tears lass.. what a moving true story and written by a very dedicated and understanding lady.. yourself.

How do the words of that song go!! If I can help somebody as I pass along, then my living will not be in vain., how very true.

I was left in a similar situation as yourself but on a smaller scale. I cared for my elderly next door neighbour but sadly she passed on. Her son - if I can call him that- took certain items from her home, posted the house key through my letter box with a note saying ' help yourself to whatever you want and bin the rest'.. No please or thank you approach..
I was also saddened because I turned up family photographs, many of which she had proudly shown me, and so many more personal items.

The company whom I worked for had subsidised and given warehouse space to a charitable organisation. They were called 'Home from home' and their soul aim was to empty houses of all items.
In turn they furnished empty flats handed over by the council to Zero tolerance abused females and children.

When I decided to move down to Essex I called in 'Home from home' who were pleased to accept most of my furniture etc, which I did not need.. down sizing and all that...

End of my saga being, that the men and women from H/H bought me a lovely picture which depicted Loch Lomond, the area I was leaving. and why the gift... because I ran the bookkeeping side of their business for them, from my home.. all part of my contribution to their good work... freely donated....

Yes... any gesture be it great or small can certainly help someone along the way.

JoyceP xxxx

Thanks Joyce, I was trying to get it over that the helper often gets as much pleasure out of helping, sometimes more. During all this I used to pop next door to my kitchen (didn't like his dirty one) and make us a drink. We used to talk while having this break and he would tell me about his wife and son, always with tears in his eyes and we would end up hugging. I learned a lot about Germany and his views on the war, he was a terrified young man who wanted to be anywhere but where he was.He taught me a lot. The sad thing is he died a couple of years later, his wife had already died so he didn't get much time with her at all, so sad...but he did get to see her and that came about by someones help.

Caz xx

To put it in a strange way, well...I am coming 'out' today....

I was stunned at reading of so many persons suffering same, and different health issues, and how they were attempting to cope and get on with their lives at the same.. and against all odds.

But saying that.. do we have any choice!!!!

By 'coming out' I mean that I also have suffered from horrendous panic attacks, for many years, but due to pressure put upon me by having to bring up three children, hold down a full time work position due to divorce, and subsequent upset, I have had to suppress and TRY to cope... bad news....

I don't know if it is the independant streak I happen to have in my makeup but I tend to go it alone. oh yes, I have seen doctors and been given many pills to pop but medication and me just do not mix, system wise...Too many adverse reactions to medication, latest one being of last Tuesday when undergoing a scan on my heart/stomach.. an iodine injection was given and needless to say I had a very bad reaction which almost landed me back in hospital AGAIN.

I was lucky in one respect that the company I worked for, 2000 employees,
held sessions on many subjects.. one being on STRESS... I learnt how to recognise same and how to address it which has helped me tremendously since.

Some of you may know that right now, after two session of being hospitalized... not related to p.a... I am facing an uncertain future due to a large aneurysm in my main aorta leading from my heart to my stomach...with two tests down and one to go on the 13th, a lung capacity test..my future will be decided by the anaeathetist and consultant whether I am fit enough to come through an operation.

My consultant did say to me at our last meeting.. ' you have the bodywork of a Rolls Royce but you innards are knackered............charming...... well I am 76 and my so called innards have stood me in good stead until now.. so I cannot really grumble.

His advice to me was to go home, forget my illness and enjoy my life...I won't tell you the rest of his advice apart from him saying that my chances of coming through any operation would be roughly 20%.. and when the time came, like now, it would be quick....

Life can be one hell of a road to travel but if you don't make the most of it, tis sad.

I have probably depressed you all further with this posting BUT just talking to you kind souls seems to have lightened my load, just a little.

Thanks for listening and thanks for being there for me... love you all...



JoyceP xxxx

Hi Joyce
Hugs around the world on this amazing thread, we could all learn from the advice, to not dwell on the diagnosis, but enjoy our life despite it.
Warm thoughts winging their way to you.
{{{Hugs}}}
maxiMary

Hi All...

Just thought I oughta 'check in' as I haven't done for a couple of days. Have had a nice weekend, not too much decorating n a nice relaxing Sunday with OH n Daughter. Stomach seems to have settled with the tablets thank goodness...trying to fight Gastric Acid Reflux too tho which is very painful n making me feel really sick, Dr told me to take Gaviscon for that but have read that Gaviscon contains a depressant so won't be taking it for too long!!.

Just been up in the garage n done a 15 minute workout on my Crosstrainer....was hard work but alot easier now I don't smoke.

Looking forward to next weekend....having my Twin daughters (16) come to stay for a week..... :o)

Hope everyone is getting there n still talking when needed.

Have a good evening all....love n hugs.

Julie:o)xxxxxxxx

This thread is one of the best I have ever seen on GR,

My love and respect to all, will try to catch up tonight!!

Caz xxxxxxx

I'll 2nd that Caz.............

:o)xxxx

PM to Joyce and Lynn.

Hi to Ann, Fi, Dave, Caz in Cumbria & Yorkshire, Jules, and Karl nice to see you all. I think we are having a lot of uplifting stories.

I coped well today with the long trip to work. No imodium! I had awful head ache this morning with the stress of it. Took a couple of tablets which took the edge off. Tomorrow I have to travel about an hour so not as bad. I'll still be stressed in the morning as my mate is off work poorly, and I have to travel with another group. My supervisor doesn't do illness so no sympathy from her at all.
Carole xx

Hi Jules. Its almost like a diary writing on here, very theraputic. I dont keep a diary about thoughts/feelings etc, so its quite relaxing. Its my youngest childs 2nd birthday today, she's in bed now though, got a bit grumpy! Im in bed with the laptop, am always exhausted by 5pm; luckily my husband is quite understanding, especially as I dont normally go to bed before 10.30pm anyway. Havent taken tablets for 4 days, I just forget, out of sight out of mind I suppose. Hope everyones having an okay night.