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Help with adoption

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

jayne

jayne Report 23 Sep 2011 18:32

I was adopted, i'm trying to trace my birth siblings. Can anyone help me? I know they were adopted together, but i can't find a way to get a copy of their adoption certificates without knowing their adoptive parents surname.

Thanks :-)

jax

jax Report 23 Sep 2011 19:00

Have you looked to see if any have a tree one here?

jayne

jayne Report 23 Sep 2011 21:03

Yes, nothing shows up. i only have their birth name and i've tried going through social services but they were no help. I was told i can only get information about my birth parents. it just seems so unfair.

Paul

Paul Report 23 Sep 2011 21:58

Have you tried to find/contact them via NORCAP?....

see:-

http://www.norcap.org.uk/birthrelativesofadoptedadults.htm :-D

jayne

jayne Report 23 Sep 2011 22:04

no i've not, i've just looked at the website and it costs :( i'm a student so money isn't great, and i've just paid for this membership but maybe when i have more money i'll join - thanks

Paul

Paul Report 23 Sep 2011 22:16

I appreciate if things are tight at the moment Emma, but NORCAP will be your best option....certainly better than the social services and better than anyone (me included lol) on here

Good luck in the future

Donna17

Donna17 Report 24 Sep 2011 11:20

Hi Emma
Some Social Services departments will act as a 'post box', so if you know the department that arranged your adoptions you can send them a letter, and if your siblings ever contact them for any information your letter will get passed on to them.
If you decide to contact your birth mother, it could be that your other siblings have already done so, and that you could make contact with them through her?
Also there is the adoption contact register - you have to register as an adopted person and that you are looking for adopted persons (your siblings), but that is a way of finding adopted brothers and sisters that might help.
Good luck - don't give up. It might take a while, but I am sure you will get there :-)

jayne

jayne Report 25 Sep 2011 13:23

Hi Donna, thanks for your reply.

because i've never lived with my birth siblings (i was put into care as soon as i was born) i was told i couldn't use the post box. My siblings were born a few years later than me then also put into adoption.

I've recently been told though that in 2005 the law changed so that i can contact my birth siblings, so i'm confused. I don't really know where to go for help. I'd prefer it to be through an intermidate so that they can help me and support me etc.

I'm busy with the process of my birth parents, but from what i've read about them they don't want anything to do with me and are/were very private people.

Donna17

Donna17 Report 26 Sep 2011 22:46

Hi Emma

The 2005 change in the law should definitely help you. I am pretty sure you will have to go through an intermediary - this leaflet was on the York Council website but is a government publication to help all adopted adults tracing birth relatives:
http://www.york.gov.uk/content/45255/31723/Adoption/adoptedadultstracingrelatives
If social services are helping you find your birth parents, they should also help with your siblings - assuming they are over 18? If not, you might have to wait until they are. I'm not sure, but the social worker will know :)

I agree that you will need lots of help and support, especially if you are not expecting much from your birth parents. Just waiting for a piece of information can seem like a lifetime, and really take it out of you, so get lots of support, and don't let your studies suffer ;)

Penny

Penny Report 27 Sep 2011 08:23

Presumably, from what you say, these sibs were twins? That should make tracing their birth easier. You might want to look at the adoption index files, wherever they are held now.

Do ypu have any idea where they were born. or where they might have been adopted.

jayne

jayne Report 27 Sep 2011 10:04

The social worker said that legally i'm only allowed information about my birth parents, i had a feeling this was incorrect and i researched it. I didn't know about the law change until i came on here, but even on the Govs own website it says that i can have contact/trace my birth siblings.

No, they aren't twins - i don't know if my siblings were put into care then adopted or my birth parents decided they wanted them adopted.

I never lived with my birth parents i just went into care then was adopted.

In my file, i have the year they were born and the names they were given at birth but obv they've been changed.

Thanks for that link, i'll have a read through it tonight.

Edit - Yes, i've searched the names on here and nothing comes up. I've also searched facebook and i've made an account with the name i was given at birth, making it public saying i'm looking for my birth siblings but no-one has messaged me/added me. They probably don't even know i exist

:-(

+++DetEcTive+++

+++DetEcTive+++ Report 28 Sep 2011 09:19

How do you feel about putting their birth names and year/area of birth on this thread, assuming they are over 18?

Although we aren't likely to be able to trace them, the names would come up on an internet search. As long as you keep your email address updated on GR, even if you revert to free membership, if they find you in the future, they can use the GR messaging service to contact you.

An instance of this happening is on this thread, although I suspect the siblings are a lot older than you and yours.

http://www.genesreunited.co.uk/boards.page/board/ancestors/holroyd/thread/1087023

And do make sure you have your birth name, birth parents and theirs on your tree.

jewelz

jewelz Report 21 Apr 2012 21:04

hi...im new to this n im tryin to trace birth parents n siblings i have all my records but dont have a clue where to start :/ sorry for invading on your questions n answers on here but i cant even find the bit to put out a message ...sorry :) ...anyone help ? x

jax

jax Report 21 Apr 2012 21:40

Hi jewelz welcome to the boards

To start a thread of your own click on add topic at the top of the page on the right hand side

Annette

Annette Report 21 Apr 2012 23:20

Hi Jayne
My husband is adopted and started tracing his family through Barnardos where he was put for adoption. The support they gave him was great. We made an appointment to go and see his records where he found out he had a half sister. They later got in contact again and told him that he had a half brother as well. The whole process can be very emotionally draining and you will need all the help you can get. They have access to much more information than we have.

I wish you the best of luck and really hope you find what you are looking for.

x

Sappho

Sappho Report 22 Apr 2012 02:50

WOW what encouragement for Jayne.

Best of luck on this one.

Sappho

jax

jax Report 22 Apr 2012 02:56

Jayne has not returned to this thread since september...maybe she will return in the future