Find Living Relatives

Sorry but some of us dont know how to do things. Instructions aren't there and we get into difficulties. No one likes to appear foolish.

I am starting to wonder why GR stickied this ( I did'nt ask) as there are still people that think it is ok to help by private message and not bother to mention it on the thread

hi everyone,
been reading what you have all said...i am new to all this and am still trying to work it all out. i am totally amazed at how really quick people respond to posts when it takes me hours so i would like to say to every one who helps a huge thank you because a lot of people would get no where without you. its very nice to know there are people willing to help. also, i might still do things wrong so i dont mind anyone correcting me. sometimes there will be times where i am away from the computer for a couple of days and will not realise i have replies so it is very helpful that someone can take the time to let me know. thank you all.

Well said Sylvia.

And I too know brummijan. I would never dream of questioning her integrity.

Jill

Peter

as I posted on another thread on this Board earlier today ............. and which you have not apparently returned to, or at least you have not bothered to respond ..................


Peter

Yes, pms are supposed to be private messages between people, and normally would not be posted in the open.

However, this is often ignored in two situations .......... and I happen to think that both are acceptable.


1. When a newbie, or even an older member, insists on responding to questions asked on a thread about a dead ancestor, by sending pms to each and every helper on the thread.

Newbies often do not know they are supposed to reply on the thread, and often do not know how to do that. Even older members can be ignorant about that.

This does NOT help the search for the ancestor.

So most helpers will

a) reply to the pm to suggest that all messages be put on the open thread (and saying how to do it), and

b) then c&p that pm on to the thread. The aim, of course, is to provide the maximum help to all helpers.


If the information is of importance in a helper being able to help ................. such as getting a pm saying he was adopted, or he died in Acapulco (!!) 20 years after his birth .............. then that DOES count as important information to pass on to all the others helping on the thread, even if the post is on Find Living Relatives.


I would not condone c&p'ing personal information on living relatives that might lead to embarassment onto the open thread.


2. The other occasion is when someone has received a nasty pm from another member. I see nothing wrong with either c&p'ing, or posting the gist of, such a pm ................. at the very least it warns other members of the situation.

I have done this myself ............ and discovered in the process that the member who pm'd me had also sent a pm to at least one other member telling them to avoid me.

I WAS being wrongly accused of doing something .............. and the person concerned was duly warned by GR not to repeat his behaviour.

I should add that I did not identify the person in the open, so that information did not get on to the web ............ I just c&p'd the body of the pm.



In this case, I am NOT convinced that what Moth has seen on the internet via google was in fact posted on this thread and then removed.


I do know brummiejan, even if you don't, and I believe her when she says what she posted on here before removing it ............ and that seems to be nothing more than adding to information in the OP.



I think you are doing nothing more than stirring up a storm in a teacup, and ask you please to leave it alone.



Moth did not realise that this is a completely open site, nothing is safe from being picked up by google, spread all over the internet and remaining there for ever.

The OP contains a lot of information that could identify her nephew, that she herself posted.



The very interesting fact to me is that I can find references to this thread on google .......... it does not contain any more references to the nephew than showing in the OP, certainly not a pm being re-posted by a helper.

The only other reference I can find is, as I said, to the Birth Records here on GR, where it does give the nephew's full name, birth registration and place of birth registration information.


The one thing that is different about this from the OP is the date of birth registration


If you click on that link, it takes you directly to Birth Records on GR ............ and you can see it plainly.


It has nothing to do with any helper on here!




Now I suggest that you complain to GR if you are so very upset ................... but be assured that many helpers will probably disagree with you with regard to the 2 cases I posted above.

Would you really like 5 or 6 people to spend hours, and very possibly their own money, in trying to find information that cannot be found because that name no longer exists??????????



sylvia

Nothing is published on google.
It is picked up by google.
You appear to be deliberately misinterpreting what is being said.
If matters were so personal then they would not be asked on a board that is open to the public.

I don't know why you keep mentioning an adopted person? I am not talking about any one person in particular. 'Helpers' have occasionally repeated a snippet of information given to them in a Private Message before now.. Why did I make any comment yesterday when it happened to be about an adopted person? .....because on that day I realised I needed to have the 'rules'of a Private Message explained to me. I had always thought any matters that were considered personal by the Poster were kept personal. If I thought that, then so might other members of Genes Reunited. All I have asked is to be made aware of the "rules" set aside to explain what a Private Message was expected to be... The answer I have received so far seems to be .......... if the 'helper' considers certain information given to them by Private Message not to be personal , then it is not personal but suitable to be published on Google..

No I am not saying that at all Peter.

There was nothing personal about what was put on the thread by the helper.
How are we meant to know the person was adopted? so what would you have done if it was you who recieved the pm?

After finding out we were wasting our time looking for a person who does not exist in that name anymore. they can then be advised where to go next.

I get pm's that just say "Thanks for your help" ect should I keep that to myself or should I mention it on the thread that the poster as thanked me? After all it was a private message maybe I should not tell anyone?

Are you saying it is perfectly okay for a 'helper' to repeat anything they are told by Private Message if they, the 'helper,' considers it not to be of a personal nature?

I had no idea that was so. Is this what Genes Reunited have in mind for a Personal Message? I don't think they have stated this anywhere? .If I am wrong, please direct me , and others, to where Genes Reunited say this.
Thank you for your help,

Peter

Yes it is ok to repeat the info if it is not of a personal nature.
Many new people to the boards do not realise they should reply on the thread and send pm's
If you are referring to the thread that was looking for an adopted person? how are we meant to know if not told? There is not much point in posting a request looking for a non existant person is there?

I understood 'helpers' did not repeat any information given to them by PM from a Poster and certainly did not then put this information on the thread. I have since been advised it is okay for the 'helper' to repeat details they are given by PM if they themselves believe them not to be of a personal nature? Would someone please clarify this for us all. Thank you.
Peter

I totally agree, Sylvia! :-D

nice to see this stickied, so we don't have to keep raising it to the top of the board :-D :-D

;-)

:-)

;-) ;-) ;-)

:-)

But still it goes on..........
'I have had a pm from another member with some information which I intend to follow up and am quite excited about this.'

:-)

:-)

:-)