Suggestions

This matter has become even more urgent.

Thank heavens ......


the thread that names the possible fathers (not to mention the attacks on me) has gone ...... it went within the last 5 minutes. No idea whether the poster or GR are responsible.



Unfortunately, all of the information on that thread is still available on the web


sylvia.

This seems to be happening more & more recently, not just on the living relatives board, but any time a poster doesn´t hear what they want to hear.
I was warned by another member via a pm only last week when I tried to help a poster. Luckily I had already sussed them out, but it´s getting to the stage where we daren´t answer queries for fear of being verbally attacked & then having our hands slapped by GR.

FIY, and warning .............


I have just received 2 emails from GR, each warning me that a post of mine has been reported for "breaching guidelines and terms and conditions." and "Continuing to create content of this nature may result in your eventual removal from the site.".

Both of my posts followed warnings given by myself and others to an OP who had posted information re looking for a father, but he clearly has no firm information and is working down a 'list of possibles' (as RRose put it, but I also can't think of a better phrase in this case), gleaned from gossip regarding men his mother might have known at the time.

At least 3 have been named so far. Some helpers have provided information on how to contact 2 of the men ............. and he has reported back that both have convinced him that they are not his father ........... one even having requested that he be contacted in private not through FB. He is now looking for the 3rd man.

He considered me arrogant and that I had demeaned him by posting a warning on the open board ....... and in fact posted a message to me that I considered so extremely personally objectionable that I reported it ..... and GR did indeed remove it.

He then launched another attack on me last night. It was my responses to that that resulted in my getting the 2 emails from GR.

The second post from me in fact was "lol! This is getting very funny' Good job I have a very good sense of humour." ................ he obviously objected to that!

He also has another thread where he has said the most awful things about his mother.

All his threads, and the information therein, can now be found on Google.



just be careful!





sylvia

One of the things that is particularly worrying to me is the unmoderated 'character assassination' on some of the posts, recently there have been several which either were derogatory of the absent parent being sought ( that's clever!) or the 'resident' parent...neither of whom have the 'right of reply' and whose faults ( whether genuine or imagined) are being broadcast via google .

Also there have been several cases where a father has been sought where the poster clearly has no firm information and is working down a 'list of possibles' ( awful way of putting it but I can't think of a better phrase). The damage done to unsuspecting, unconnected families could be enormous.

Young posters ( and it is often young) just do not have the experience or patience perhaps to go slowly and be circumspect in what they post...therefore isn't it GR's responsibility to help them?

It should not depend on more experienced members who inevitably get the flack if their advice is not what the OP wants to hear.

It would seem to me that this wretched board was ill concieved and that some of the postings are causing unacceptable rudeness from OPs in response to advice they are being given by experienced members.It may be that the OPs are under the impression that the responses come from GR staff.
That´s no excusefor some of the appalling attitudes that have appeared on here recently.
The sooner this board is discontinued the better.

Still no change - do GR expect us to RR every violation of privacy or are they going to do something about it themselves?

Gwynne

People's right to privacy is being violated.

I had a friend in the mid 60s who had her baby adopted.
I know where she was born, her DOB & where she was adopted. I also know who her birth father is.
I dread that one day she will appear on this board seeking info which I have never disclosed to anyone in 45 years.
My sense of loyalty to her mother comes first, but do I have the right to withold this info from the child ?
I don´t like the possibility of being put in this situation & would much prefer for this board to be discontinued in the interests of everyone´s privacy.

I agree with PP every inch of the way.


I've said several times, that I am old enough to have had a baby and put it up for adoption before the rules changed ca 1970 .......... ie, when the adoption was closed, and birth mothers were promised that their information would never be released.

I can sleep easy because I did not have to do this, but I can well imagine how worried some/many women will be wondering if their long-held secret is going to be released to the world.



I can understand why adoptees want to know their heritage ........... but I can alos understand the other side of the picture.


Adoptees searching should be going through the societies that offer counselling and help ......... not via a group of amateurs who don't really know what they are getting into.



Like PP, I question what would happen if someone decided to sue GR AND the "helper/s" who found the information.




sylvia

I think that Genes has this blinding belief that all parents who give up their children for adoption really want them turning up out of the blue at their door.

GET REAL Genes, many of these people who gave up their children have never told anyone about this. Often the only people who know about these poor children are the birth mother & her parents and occassionally the birth father.

Whilst I can understand that many adopted children would love to and need to find their birth families there are societies such as NORCAP who do this in a far better way than doing it through a 'chat' board.

If I was in this situation I know I would now be dreading every knock at the door and letter with an unkown postmark.

I personally think that this Find Living Relatives should be discontinued let alone moderated.

I wonder how long it is before some unsuspecting woman takes either Genes or the 'helpers' on here to court for the mental distress they have caused. Or even causing rifts in families when the 'truth' comes out. And if distressed enough could even lead to suicide.

The thought of all the things that could go wrong appals me.

I'm very concerned as well.

If GR remove the names of living people on trees "on demand" then they should also remove the names from that board.

It is becomng a gross invasion of privacy and could cause distress to those who do not want to be found.

Please, GR, deal with this quickly.

Gwynne

I urge Genes Reunited, please, to moderate the find living relatives board in the same way as the success board.

Please look at the threads currently on the front page.

Please moderate the find living relatives board in the same way as the success board.

You have said that you prefer the option of members reporting posts which intrude in people's privacy; however, sometimes the personal information is actually in the title of a thread so would be seen even once it had been reported for review. Apart from that, a report is taking several hours to be resolved. Actual dates of birth are being posted including yesterday that of a minor. Personally, I wish that Genes Reunited had not started the find living relatives board, personal information being posted in the totally public site is increasing daily.

I agree with Joy ...................


there is more and more personal information being publicly posted


and that is extremely concerning.



I wonder where GR would stand if someone decided to sue because there information was spread over the internet as a result of being posted on Find Living Relatives??



sylvia

The more and more personal information that I read being publicly posted, the more and more concerned I become.

:(

I believe that the management staff of Genes Reunited do care about people. That is why I appeal to them again - please moderate the find living relatives board in the same way as the success board.

I do not feel the need to give further reasons than already stated by myself, and eloquently and succinctly by others in this thread.

I shall not personally report any of the posts in that board for review.

FLR,

It would really make more sense if the guidelines were enlarged and highlighted on this board to make it stand out,.perhaps more would read it if it was eyecatching.
Its not beyond a techie capablities to tweak it.

Hi Sylvia, that was actually a bug, where posts could be added without being moderated. As soon as we knew about this the bug was fixed.

Estelle



"the Success Board is moderated differently. Posts are approved before we add them to the site.This is to make sure that only success stories are added rather than look-up requests."


If this is so .................... how come we had that problem some months ago about dreadful advertising posts appearing on Success??

It was members who reported those ............... NOT any GR staff


and if the Board was being moderated, then those posts should not have appeared!




sylvia