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People Who Don't Reply

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


LadyLala Report 23 Mar 2013 21:18

I wish something could be done about people who don't reply to your message. It's so frustrating to find someone who's put your family online and when you write they don't even open your message. I have been doing family history for years and have lots of information to share but they're not interested! Who are these people and why do they even bother to register? They're not family historians that's for sure.


Gai Report 23 Mar 2013 22:29

They could have changed their email address and are unaware that you
have sent them a message.

They might have found out all the information they wanted on their family tree and have lost interest as this has happened to me.

I believe you have to take into account that not everyone is interested in researching their tree back to Adam and Eve. Though I'm sure someone believes they can get back that far.


SylviaInCanada Report 23 Mar 2013 22:30

LadyLala ............

if you mean do not reply to your pms on GR, then there are many reasons why people do not reply.

First, have you checked to see whether they ahve actually opened your pm??

In case, you don't know ............. a green envelope means the message has not been opened, no envelope means they have opened it.

Second, possible reasons for not replying, include ....................

1. Dead, or incapacitated, and no-one knows about, or knows how to delete the thread

2. Changed home email address but not notified GR of the change, so emails from GR are just going into the ether

3. Started doing their tree years ago, had to stop for whatever reason (lack of time, ill-health, etc), forgot about the tree

.............. they MAY have returned to the hobby, and re-joined again (having forgotten they had once been a member)

4. Joined, then lost interest.

GR almost never deletes a tree ................... they only delete if a member is permanently banned "for cause".

Otherwise, it is up to the member to delete the tree ........... and that may well depend on a family member or friend having to do in the event of the member's death or incapacitation.

For that reason, I have long been an advocate of having an book close to the computer containing a listing of ALL internet sites, site names, passwords, etc ............... and having at least one person know where the book is, giving them permission to delete you from all these sites.

If you search for this topic, you will find there have been many threads started on the same topic .................... and no one has been able to come up with a really foolproof way to address the problem.

You also have to remember that you might get an answer months or years after the event.

I well remember one member posting that he only looked at the site once a year or two years.

Someone else commented that they had got a reply to a pm about 5 years later!



Gai Report 24 Mar 2013 00:55


Also another reason may be the person used to be a member and don't realised that they can reply to a message even though they don't have a current sub.

They may be thinking they don't want to pay for another sub just to respond to your message.

So in your message tell them they can reply to your message without costing them any money as this has worked for me.



DazedConfused Report 25 Mar 2013 11:00

A couple of years ago I contacted a gentleman about a mutual ancestor. A few days later I got a message from his wife who explained that he had died some months ago.

She explained that she was not doing any research and was trying to delete his tree from Genes. I told her to contact Genes and how to do so and luckily Genes did remove the tree.

She had had lots of queries and whilst most were very sympathetic, there were some who got quite rude when explained the situation. She was very distressed by the whole episode.

And also remember there are many trees on here with 10 or less people on here. And you can put a tree on here without being a paying member, which can be quite attractive to some.

This query raises it's ugly head about once a month and there is nothing to be done.
Unlike Ancestry, Genes does not indicate how long it is since a tree has been amended as this would also show just how many 'dead or unused' tree they actually have within their millions!!!

You just have to put it all down to experience.



Gai Report 25 Mar 2013 12:15


I just checked Ancestry and it tells me I last logged in 2 months ago which I find very interesting as I'm on Ancestry 7 days a week and have been for months.

I don't actually log out at all I just close my page. When Ancestry had it's hiccup last week it threw me out and I had to log in a couple of times.

Gai :-)


DazedConfused Report 25 Mar 2013 13:16

Like you I never log in or out of Ancestry. But at least there is some indication whether true or not which is more than you get on here.

Funnily enough it would appear lots of people had problems last week, me none whatsoever. I wonder if the really cold weather was anything to do with this. I know FMP had major problems with their site due to the cold conditions.


InspectorGreenPen Report 25 Mar 2013 16:19

The Ancestry message re last login is not particularly accurate as I found out when I tried to contact a number of members last month. Some had not been on the site for over a year but it was saying they logged on last month.....!

If you close you page on any web site, shut down your pc or drop your internet connection, you do actually log out. The clever bit is that when you next access the site data held in your browser cookies logs you in automatically giving the impression you never logged out. In most cases the site also has to set a flag to remember you have elected to log in automatically and if this flag gets reset for any reason you have to log back in again next time.

All very convenient but not entirely brilliant from a security point of view.


Gai Report 25 Mar 2013 22:09


Maybe Ancestry couldn't cope with the extreme weather conditions world wide as I wish we had some cold weather here.

Gai :-D


DazedConfused Report 26 Mar 2013 11:06

Yet again another thread where we have offered help/suggestions to the original query but OP has either not come back or read the replies and not bothered to say Thankyou

I am truly getting fed up with this situation


Reggie Report 26 Mar 2013 12:37

Yes, it seems like a case of the OP having a different set of rules for herself, although with 9 posts in 11 years, she isn't exactly a 'regular' on the boards.


CupCakes Report 28 Mar 2013 11:12

I can see people are talking about Ancestry again when it is against GR rules. When the same members are reported they start shouting about board police. You can't have yr cake and eat it. :-D :-D


DazedConfused Report 28 Mar 2013 12:20

I believe it is not against GR T&C's to talk about other genealogy sites, what they do not like is when you say that others are better. That is where the problems occur.

Sadly no one site is perfect for everyone. Each site has its own merits and its own problems.


LadyLala Report 28 Mar 2013 12:43

It is only five days since I put my original post and people are making comments about me not saying thank you! I'm very sorry if you feel I've failed to respond quickly enough but I've been busy these last few days. I might add that if anyone sent me a query I would hasten to reply as soon as possible. For all those who gave helpful replies thank you very much. I do realise that death or sickness may prevent a response but it does seem to happen fairly regularly. Most recently I've just found a family for whom I've been searching for years as I have lots of photos for them, but sadly no reponse from the person who listed them.


DazedConfused Report 28 Mar 2013 15:31

One thing you do have to take into account is that many people who start looking into their family are often retired when they find they have the time to take up this hobby.

So the chances are that even many of the very full trees are dormant because the owner has died. And unless they pass on their password to a family member to contact GR on their behalf that tree will sit there indefinately.

It has been estimated that over half of the trees on here are either dormant, less than 20 names listed or the owners only come onto the site occassionally. And if someone has not updated their email address they will not even get notifications of any contacts.

And as mentioned people who are Free members will not be able to contact you.

Also you may think 5 days is not long, but usually on here you will get a reply within minutes so for you 5 days may not be very long, but for some on here it is an age!!


SylviaInCanada Report 28 Mar 2013 18:55

PP ............... and NanaSue

We have all, I think, queried when it is acceptable to name another site on GR ........... or even to talk about GR.

Many, including I myself, have received responses back from GR to say that it is perfectly acceptable to mention and talk about ANY other site on here ........

.......... but not acceptable to slag any site, whether that be GR or ancestry, or fmp, or The Genealogist.

GR has even posted that information on threads in the past, when people has posted a thread asking directly if it is OK to name other sites.

Therefore, no-one on this thread has contravened any T&Cs, and there is no need to RR the postings!