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adoption/hints and hugs from other adoptees*Chapte

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Caz Nr Heathrow

Caz Nr Heathrow Report 6 Sep 2006 13:43

nudge Caz

}((((*> Jeanette The Haddock <*)))){

}((((*> Jeanette The Haddock <*)))){ Report 6 Sep 2006 13:37

n

Jess Bow Bag

Jess Bow Bag Report 23 Aug 2006 09:06

Nudged for rosie...and there are 3 more if you want them!

Jess Bow Bag

Jess Bow Bag Report 13 May 2006 22:33

come and see us on chapter 5!

Eileen

Eileen Report 13 May 2006 22:08

Sad birthday for me today - lost my lovely boxer dog this a.m. Lots of you will know what its like. She rests with 'pansys thats for thoughts' and 'rosemary for remembrance' eileen

Eileen

Eileen Report 13 May 2006 20:45

Sad birthday for me today, dog died this a.m. Family all brilliant, girls made lovely supper, and boys dug deep hole. Dog will be buried surrounded by pansys that in the language of flowers are for 'thoughts' and rosemary which is for 'remembrance' Night night, Ginger boxer, gone to Sodor where you will find your sister Daisy, and all the other boxers we have had over the last 50 years. Eileen

Jess Bow Bag

Jess Bow Bag Report 13 May 2006 12:28

Oh Glen what a sad , yet suilly situation. how on earth can circunstances surrounding your birth not concern you? they may not want to rake over old caols and re-live the story , but they are a bit foolish talking about things like court orders! Nerds! Keep on keeping on Chap! Jess x

Loopy

Loopy Report 13 May 2006 12:06

Hi All, Sorry Sheila and Eileen I have checked also for a website and there is none I can find, all I can suggest is that there is a womens magazine that has a little section in it for searching for people. I can look into that for you Eileen if you would like me to. On a subject change I am sorry that I have changed my name again some people may think impatient sounds a little ....... So sorry Ann I don't really have that much imagination, and I am not a from I'm an in. LOL Seeya melisa

Ann

Ann Report 12 May 2006 06:31

Hi all Sheila/Eileen I read what Sheila wrote and thought I would try and find a site were Eileen could leave a message for her sister.....so yesterday I start around lunchtime and 4 hrs later do u think i could find anything aussie ....no all american. It was very frustration trying to find a message board thats Australian. I still havent found one... But i will keep on trying. Its also hard when you find other Adoption stories and stop to read them...These American sites tell people stories of reunions and are hard to pass. If anyone else know's of a site please let us know, because my butt cant take much more.lol Only joking will still try. Have a good weekend all Annxx

Sheila

Sheila Report 10 May 2006 16:08

Hi John, Glad to see that you had a positive result from your letter :o) Julie, You are spot on with your comments, his step dad raised him, and has always been there for him, he should never doubt for a second in all but name that he is 'His Father'. Eileen, How is your dog?, we have an Old English Sheepdog ourselves, and its like a member of our family, so I know how worried you must be, fingers crossed for a full recovery for it. I agree with you my counsellor whilst very nice, did not do a lot for me, she can empathise, but she has not been through it, so can still remain detached, unlike other members on here, who can relate directly to you. Out here no sites in Australia which you can post messages on? Maybe Ann or Mel can advise you on this matter. Gerrry Your not strange at all each of us our individuals and only we can decide if we wish to pursue this search. I would not have considered it when I was younger, but things sometimes happen in life to change our perspective and make us curious about our backgrounds or even our medical history. You can only do what is right for you. Glen, Don't let the (idiots) grind you down ;O) put your half sisters hubby re-action down to dumb ingnorance, I mean would you really want to go for a pint with someone like this ;O) it's very easy to take a high and moral stance like he has, when he knows his background. On the positive side, your in touch with your neices :O) Any luck on the job front still got my fingers crossed for you! Once again apologies to anyone waiting for a reply to an e-mail still catching up with them after the hols, and the problems with my computer. Take care all ! Sheila

Jess Bow Bag

Jess Bow Bag Report 10 May 2006 14:43

can i just nudge this up, chapter 3 has been nudged and we'll get in a pickle - that isnt just an adoptee thing either! Jess x

Eileen

Eileen Report 9 May 2006 20:52

dear Glen - people are just so bizzare - even if you might not have been particularly interested to start with, this scenario is enough to make anyone absolutely determined to get the info out of them all. As for wanting to stop you via a court order - how ignorant are these people! Adopt the manner of a terrier dog, and just worry them to rags. lots of hugs for all your problems going back over the business of the certificates to prove who you were for your job. Eileen

Glen In Tinsel Knickers

Glen In Tinsel Knickers Report 9 May 2006 12:23

Hi all Just had an update re my court adoption papers from my social worker.The update was that..........there is no update!! Yesterday i managed to contact my half sisters daughter,and asked if she could pass my number on. I didn't reveal too much but she did know my name before the contact. Today i had a call from my half sister,basically telling me the whole family knew about me and the circumstances surrounding my adoption,but i have no right to know how or why the arrangements were made. Although she acknowledges that the troubles caused by our mother getting pregnant were not my fault,she does not see it is a plausible situation to talk about it with me,only the family should ever know! Now call it strange but both her husbands,and the partners of my two half brothers knew about me well before i knew of them,'but the information concerning my conception,birth and adoption is personal information they can't reveal'(her words quoted). So can someone tell me how MY birth is not personal to me,but is to her second husband?He thinks i am sick for looking into my birth family and should be slapped with a court order. As if to ask me to ring back she thought that i would ring 1471 and get her phone number after the call,but then asked i don't ring her,she will ring me.(why not with hold the number then! easy really. I'll let her have a while to ponder things over and see what develops. Glen

Eileen

Eileen Report 9 May 2006 08:53

dear Gerry At the risk of sounding like 'psycho-babble' I would think that having your life turned upside-down at aged five would be very traumatic, (particularly if your christian name was changed) I was taken from my mother and father(not her husband - but they had been together all my life)at aged two. So both my parents and my three older half-sibs and baby sister and grandfather, all disappeared into the blue, as far as I was concerned. My christian name was changed too. My adoptive parents were very good, but there are 'scars'. I hoard things, and cannot bear goodbyes to things or people. Maybe cutting your feelings off was your way of coping. Have you read Pat Baskills adoption site. One of the things she says is that the adopted child is in a sense 'in mourning' for its past life. Yet even a very small child realises that it is supposed to be very happy and that the people it is now with are very happy, and it has made them happy, so it can't let itself be sad. That rings some bells with me, and maybe with others too. As I said, sorry for the psycho-babble. Eileen

Gerry

Gerry Report 8 May 2006 23:57

Hmmmmmmmmm Having read a number of the posts on here I think I must be a bit strange, but then I thought that before! I was adopted at 5 and my adopted parents would only tell me very little about my birth parents. It turned out they were not entirely truthful! They would not even tell me my original birth name. I found out when i read it on the top of the Doctors Notes when I was about 22!!!! To be honest I was never very interested in finding out about my birth parents. However, about 2 years ago I made an 'intellectual' decision to go looking for my birth Dad purely cos he was a German POW who stayed over in England after the war. It turned out I was a bit late in looking as he died in 1960 aged 39. To be honest i have no feelinga about being adopted, and even fewer feelings about my adopted parents, who I must say brought me up well. Perhasp I was born without the capacity to care about family. I dont know. Gerry :-))

Eileen

Eileen Report 8 May 2006 22:23

hi Ann, and Glen Not very on the planet just now as my dog is quite ill and I have been up lots of times in the night, and staying by her all day. Probably you are right Ann, in that I would have been told to give up by now - maybe she was in a family that emigrated in the 1950s as lots did, maybe she is even in Australia. I know that we can now try to do it that way Glen, I just feel that I want to do it myself without having to bare my soul to a load of counsellors - very prejudiced due to prev. experiences - I know lots of you say you have found them good. Maybe I'll try that way soon. Happily baring my soul to all GR members of course - no logic there I'm afraid. Have had a message direct from a GR member giving me the name of a helpful post adoption worker in my area, so may try her Will also go up to the GRO now we are a bit nearer to it than North of Scotland - but will have to wait until dog problem solved thanks folks Eileen.

Juliet

Juliet Report 8 May 2006 21:48

thinking of you all.My sons 19yo friend found out this week that his dad is his stepdad and his biological dad is in prison.He got his birth cert from his mums room for something and got a shock.Hard to believe these secrets are still kept in 2006 but when would be the right time totell a child that?My son txted me to check on his parentage,at 2.30 am,a bit shaken up. I told them that if someone brings you up from the age of 1 and you love them and call them Dad then they are Dad.

Glen In Tinsel Knickers

Glen In Tinsel Knickers Report 8 May 2006 13:34

Hi Ann What you asked is now possible in the UK,but only started at the end of last year,and unfortunately is subject to a charge. An intermediary service may be offered to blood relatives of an adopted person,(either the local authority or an appointed intermediary service),but anyone who is trying that route at the moment is very much trailblazing,because they will be among the first ones to try. Half the time the social services don't even know what they can or can't do. Glen

Ann

Ann Report 8 May 2006 00:53

Hi all Eileen, I dont think your sister would not answer you whether she wanted contact or not..If she knew of the posting of her birth name and didnt want contact she would ask you to stop. Maybe she lives in another part of the world. Maybe she doesnt know she's adopted or maybe she has already passed. You may have to do this posting of her name the rest of your life. I hope for your sake she answers one day. And wish you the best. In Aussie we can get cousellors to contact our siblings and ask for contact.. Thats how my BS found me and how we found out about our BB. Why cant this be done in your country. Good Luck Annxx

Eileen

Eileen Report 7 May 2006 21:52

welcome back Jess - I'm back too, after moving from Scotland to Wales - computer in box for over two weeks, feel like a bit of me was missing - hope the new house and area are everything you hoped for Eileen