General Chat

Hi Jenny, after reading through this thread, I would call an ambulance, as the lady could have done more damage............

Hope all goes well..........


Glynisxxx

Jenny hi.

Just hope all is going okay..I know the predicament you are in lass because my next door neighbour fell down..she is 99 this year and lives alone..I called her DIL who said 'her pills are on the table, just give her one' then went on to say she couldn't visit because she did not have transport...I called an ambulance and she was kept in hospital for a couple of days and checked over, she is fine now.

BUT this dear lady of mine should have been wearing her call alarm button round her neck but wasn't..those dear neighbour of yours should be wearing them also...it would at least give you a little peace of mind to know that help is available to them at the touch of a button.

I just reckon these dear souls are too proud to wear such an item because they do not feel old in themselves, but sorry to say they are...

Hope that the daughter arrives to take over from you, tis a lot of responsibility on your shoulders lass xxx

JoyceP

Jenny,

This world is a better place because of people like you.

Lainey x

After a long talk with Purple Liz, on the phone, I rang the Daughter.

I am utterley disgusted and near to tears and gritting my teeth in anger.
Finally got through to the Daughter. She seems to think it is the responsibily of Care Call. J's pendant is by the side of the sink.
I have explained the situation, but all she can do is apologise for my inconvenience. In other words keep out of the way. (As if i care about be woken by a phone call at 3 am) I am just pleased that i am here to help.

She cannot get to her parents until she has taken the 12 & 14 yrs old to school, surely at that age they could get there under their own steam.

At 4am, I said to the Husband i would go back home and come back across when the care nurses came around 9am, to explain how J had been throughout the early hours, in fact i asked if it was ok if I went across and he said Yes please" The poor man is at the end of his tether and cannot cope any longer. He can hardly walk and is so distressed.

I have told the Daughter this and she obviously doesnt want me to go across. She says she will phone them and explain the situation.

She says J, her Mam is on Tramodol? I did take a quick look at the notes and it says J is refusing meds, or J is not due for her 'Meds' The husband told me in the early hours J is just on paracetomol.
she cannot even lift her head for a sip of water, let alone take a tablet. I moistened her lips with my finger, and she was so pleased.

I am sorry for my spelling grammer etc. but I just want to pour it all out, i feel so frustrated, angry and
cleanching fists now because i am so annoyed.

I feel so sorry for the Daughter, and have asked if she would like to come over for a coffee and a chat, even said if she wants a good cry and pour it all out, that i am here for her. But she just isnt that kind of person.

It's as if she just cannot come to terms with it all. I could understand if she was a devoted Daughter, but in the 4 years I have lived here she only visits once a week. she only lives10 minutes drive away and do you know what she just said to me? "Of course if i lived nearer things would be different"


Sorry this post has been delayed submitting, as I fell asleep, woke and had to get Hubby off to work.

Jenny.

Well Jenny at least you care, I am pleased to have chatted to a warm and caring person as yourself. Maybe you could catch the nurse this morning and tell her of your concerns. To pot with the daughter and if the elderly gent wishes you to visit then thats between you and him. Take care hinny. love shirley.xx

What a lovely person you are, as you are taking care of others don't forget to make time for your own needs, you need to keep yourself fit and well. t.o.y


Nutwood

Thanks Shirley and Nutwood.
The Home Care Nurses arrived just on 9am, and stayed about half an hour. I did not go over as the Daughter requested. My Hubby is angry with me because when he got up he found me in tears at 7am.( He took the call just after 3am and passed it onto me)
He has told me not to get involved and if the husband comes across or phone's I should just tell him to press the Home Care call pendant that J should have around her neck. But it is in the kitchen and I dont think he recall's what it is for.

J has a memory span of about 1 minute, the Husband 10 minutes. I sat down stairs with the Husband for an hour, made him coffee and 3 times 'J' called out in pain by the time I got up to her she was fine and didnt know that she had called out" "Oh dear God let them take it away"

At this point I did not know she was taking Tramodol??? But after ringing the Daughter she said she was.. Could it be that this is only administered by the Care call Nurses????

I have 'nursed' a couple of Cancer patients right until the end 12 years ago. They were at home and on Morphine. I bathed a lovely dear old man just 4 hours before he died. He was not in pain due to the Morphine and we laughed and joked right up until the end. I let him wash his 'litle bit's' himself and we laughed so much.
Just wanted to add the last little bit to let you know that I am not a novice in all this.

Think I am going back to bed for a couple of hours now. I am rambling yet again.

Jenny x

Daughter has just this minute rung me. The Doctor is on his way.

She does not know when she will be able to be with her Mam and Dad as 'she has a few thing to do'

What's the betting the Husband does not remember what has gone on during the early hours. The Daughter should make sure she is there when the GP arrives surely???

Jenny.

Hope you managed some sleep Jenny.

Chica xxx

Hi Jenny - I think I'd be calling an ambulance if nothing gets done - and as you say, ring the daughter, it's far more her problem than yours

Hi Ann,if you read the thread you will see that I have rang the Daughter and in the last half hour (see my last post) she has rung me back to say the Dr. is to visit.

Jenny.

Just keep being watchful &caring Jenny,,,,,could do with more like you around,

,,,,,,,,she must be in pain,which is understandable,

I really do dread the coming years and wonder if I'll get infirm and helpless - if I do I hope there's someone like you living nearby!!!!!

Jen all I would add is if the daughter isnt there whendoctor turns up go over and tell him all thats happened ;;

Babs

Oh well at least the doctor is coming Jenny.
Now YOU... get some rest, you have earned it.

Deanna XX

Awww Jenny I've just read this whole thread.....................that daughter needs a slap!!

I am so sorry to be like this, but I have a Mum with Alzheimers, so understand how confused and terrified both those poor neighbours of yours must feel.

They need an adult to be there when the doctor visits to give the full accurate history with the wife.

If the daughter can't be bothered to turn out and look after them, maybe they should use all her inheritance up by living out the rest of their lives in a luxury care home with people who do care about them!

Grrrrr..................relatives like her make me soooooo angry!!

*takes calming breaths*

xx

Hi Jenny, hope you have been able to get some sleep.
I can imagine how you felt at the daughter's attitude, as my neighbour's daughter was the same, oh sorry, I can't come this evening, it isn't convenient, but she could always manage to come round, a drive of 15 minutes, when she wanted money for a new car or a holiday etc.
My neighbour used to say I was more of a daughter than the one she gave birth to, her daughter and I are almost the same age.
I hope this dear old couple can get the help and attention they need and that the doctor has strong words with the daughter, after making sure J. is out of pain and maybe back in hospital.
Thanks for doing what you did for them Jenny, it isn't easy to step back and leave people in a muddle or worse.
Take care
Lizx

Hi jenny, just read this thread ive got to say
you are a very, caring person with a heart of gold.

and yes the daughter does need a slap!

and you need a medal or maybe a stiff drink
i will have one for you lol

take care jenny

love wendy.x

Well, I have just had 4 hours solid sleep. Woke around 4pm and just done a quick clean up of the kitchen.
Will pop across the road after tea, to see how things are and let you all know.

It's my night for my 3 units of alcohol tonight, so I might just get Hubby to take me to the pub.

Thanks everyone.

Jenny x

Under the circumstances, Jenny, and from your thread about your daughter, I think you might have the best idea, go to the pub lol
Good luck, hon.
Lizxx