General Chat

hi my daughter was at a ball park play area yesterday with her 3 childen aged 10 ,9, and 3 the 2 older ones were playing hide and seek and the 3yr old was playing on the slide .julie just turned her back for a second when she heard crying it was her son. a boy aged 2 was sitting on him and bit his face drawing blood this childs mother was nowhere to be found after cleaning up the blood and putting it in the accident book the mother appeared and said she knows he bites and there is nothing she can do about she did not even know that it had happened 20mintues earlier.to which julie replyed you should be looking after him and not talking .xan is now ok but weary of other childern

That really irritated me too. My daughter was 12 when I left her at home for the first time and I worried all the time I was out. I'd agree with something a bit harsher but alongside the parenting classes rather than instead of.

I'm not sure care would be my first option either Juliecat. Although I'd like something more harsh than parenting classes.........I'll have to think on that some more.

When the Madeleine disappearance happened (sorry to bring it up but it's the only example I can think of) so many media types were saying *oh well we've all done it haven't we* almost justifying what had happened. I was yelling at the Tv saying NO WE HAVEN'T IT'S WRONG SAY IT........but very few people did. I just hope that the message that sent out hasn't been taken on by parents who are using it as an excuse to behave in the same way.......*loads of people do it, it doesn't mean we aren't responsible parents*..................etc* xx

Aye, I know what you mean Muffy and I do agree with you about the zero tolerance for young children being left alone. However, I don't think that putting children into care is necessarily the best solution for the child. Those who leave their children alone need to be taught that this is unacceptable. Maybe compulsory parenting classes could be one option.

I also agree that the guidelines could be firmed up more. It may make things clearer if they said children are not to left home alone under the age of 12 and then it is up to the parent(s) to decide if they feel their child/ren are mature enough.

Absolutely agree Jen. xx

Words fail me why have Children if you are not going to look after them
Jenxx

12 would be the right one for me personally, Julie but I went for the VERY earliest with 10 being the age where the zero tolerance would stop, if you know what I mean lol.

The guidelines are very spongy aren't they? I do think they need to be firmed up more. xx

Muffy I agree with you that 4 is much to young an age for a child to be left alone. I'm just pointing out that it isn't always straightforward to implement an act. It doesn't help that children mature at different ages either, one child would be okay to leave at 12 another wouldn't.


"There is no legal age limit for leaving a child on their own, but it is an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk. Parents can be prosecuted for neglect if they leave a child unsupervised ‘in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury to health" (Children and Young Person’s Act).

There is no legal age limit for leaving a child on their own, but it is an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk. Parents can be prosecuted for neglect if they leave a child unsupervised ‘in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury to health’ (Children and Young Person’s Act).
How mature is the child?
The most important factor to consider is how mature the child is. For instance, it may be okay to leave a very mature or ‘grown up’ 12 year old alone for a day while you are at work, but not a 13 year old who is not mature.

The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) advises that:

children under the age of thirteen are rarely mature enough to be left alone for a long period of time
children under the age of sixteen should not be left alone overnight
babies, toddlers and very young children should never be left alone

Things to remember
If you do leave your child home alone, remember to do the following:

leave a contact phone number and make sure you can answer it right away
leave a separate contact list of people you trust, in case they can’t get hold of you
talk to your child before you leave about how to stay safe, and tell them not to answer the door to strangers
make sure dangerous objects like matches and knives are out of reach, as well as medicines and dangerous chemicals
leave clear instructions on what to do in case of an emergency (like a fire)
tell them what time you will be back, and don’t be late
set some basic rules about what they can and can’t do while you are out
teach them basic first aid
Finally, it is essential to make sure that your child is happy to be left alone. If they aren’t confident about being left alone then find someone to look after them.

The above is from the following website

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Yourchildshealthandsafety/Yourchildssafetyinthehome/DG_070594

The following is from the NSPCC website....

Leaving Children at Home Alone

What the law says

The law does not set a minimum age at which children can be left alone. However, it is an offence to leave a child alone when doing so puts him or her at risk.

How do you decide if you can safely leave a child alone?

There are many important things to consider before you decide to leave a child alone. These include:

the age of the child
the child's level of maturity and understanding
the place where child will be left
how long the child will be left alone, and how often
whether or not there are any other children alone with the child.
For example, most parents would think it's OK to leave a 16-year-old alone for the evening, but to leave them for a week would be unacceptable.

Many young children play outdoors with other children without supervision but most people would agree that this is an important part of growing up.

You are the best judge of your child's level of maturity and responsibility.

http://www.nspcc.org.uk/HelpAndAdvice/Parentsandcarers/HomeAlone/homealone_wda35965.html

There are no actual laws just guidelines. Your cut off point seems okay to me (although I personally would raise it to 11/12) but, no doubt, there would be others who disagree.

Julie. I am not expert enough to be able to judge what age the cut off point would be and I know all children reach maturity at different ages........however 4, which this child was is definately a zero tolerance example in my eyes. 14 and 15 I would say is absolutely fine. 10-11 would be my personal cut off point and then only for a short time xx

** edit to say....... My kids aren't that age yet so I'm just guestimating at the earliest time based on the maturity of the kids I know.... not on my own experience as yet. Knowing me I won't let them stay home alone til they are 27 LOLOLOL xx

I think there are certain ages at which a line is drawn, ie. you can be prosecuted if something happens to them under a certain age if they are left alone, think it might be 14. Also babysitters are supposed to be a certain age too but can't remember what it is. I am sure someone will know or can google and find out.
Commonsense has to prevail and it is always wise to teach a child what to do in an emergency, also talk to all the family about fire exits in your home and what to do if there is a fire, whether you are there with them or not.
Prevention is better than cure so sensible to teach youngsters the way to deal with things and talk to them about the consequences. I can't believe the amount of parents who smoke and leave lighters and matches within easy reach of young kids.
They should be prosecuted.... too many little ones burned alive after playing with matches or lighter while Mum or Dad is asleep.
Lizx

i totally agree Muffy .
Rosex

I'd be interested to know what age(s) you would include in the zero tolerance idea. Officially children are children until they turn 18 then they're considered adults.

I'm not saying it's a bad idea, just that it isn't as simple as it seems.

Muffy: I think it's now time to exercise a zero tolerance on this. If parents are severely punished for leaving their children alone, then maybe others will think twice about doing it in the future. xx

I left my children home alone today while I popped into town to do some shopping. They're 14 & 15.

Yeah you're right I suppose Carrie.

It just makes my blood boil.............

this is truely unbelieveable glenys
how can they expect a 4 year old to do that,

you see it on programes like casualty or heart beat dont you ,
but when you hear it has actually happened its so so sad
you just wana hug um

Thanks for all your replies.

I think it's now time to exercise a zero tolerance on this. If parents are severely punished for leaving their children alone, then maybe others will think twice about doing it in the future. xx

thats disgusting grrrrrrrrr some parents dont deserve children

Our adopted kids' birth mother left them alone all the time while she went drinking and drugging.
Daughter was 4 and had to change her brothers nappies, to name but one task.
I could add more, but knix in twist tell me to stop lol.
x

Well Muffy you know where I stand with parents leaving their children alone.

I hope these parents receive what is due to them. If the child would benefit by staying with the parents it HAS to be under full supervision. They cannot be trusted not to put this child in danger again.

If he doesn't have any close family who will step in and help I will feel even more sympathy for the little boy.

Sue x

i know
i havent read it but by the title i can tell

your right, i always say dont leave um in cars alone whot if it got nicked , caught fire, central locking failed, anything,
and homes whot if there was a fire, or anything