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Is my time up?? Joke

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AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 23 Feb 2009 14:11

Is My Time UP?

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth!

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded,
"I thought you said I had another 43 years.
Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"



And God replied:

"I didn't recognize you!"



Researching:
Photo spring Researching Somerset, Dorset, Hampshire, Derbyshire, Staffs, Devon, Glamorganshire. Ingram, Masters, Tamblyn, Knight, Warner, Bate, Allen, Riggs, Dominey, Duffin

GRMarilyn

GRMarilyn Report 23 Feb 2009 14:13


Loved It...... Ann

Researching:
Tregaskis- Blatchford- Bunker- ONeil.... Cornwall & Devon ( Ingram) Dorset .Bean Kent & Norfolk

ButtercupFields

ButtercupFields Report 23 Feb 2009 15:47

That's a good one Ann. I really did LOL....frightened the dog! BC XX

MarionfromScotland

MarionfromScotland Report 23 Feb 2009 15:49

lol

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 23 Feb 2009 19:42

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession.

When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: "Father ... During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighbourhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic."

The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that."

"There is more to tell, Father... She started to repay me with sexual favours. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays.'
The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger.
But two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."
"Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question."

"And what is that?" asked the priest.






"Should I tell her the war is over?''

Researching:
me and my darling wife at our wedding in 1960

Teddys Girl

Teddys Girl Report 24 Feb 2009 11:30

Thanks- This gives OH and me the tonic we need. They say a laugh a day keeps the doctor away.

Mo

cane

cane Report 16 Jun 2009 20:25

"oh Ann i can't stop laughing,that was great.
Gwen x

Researching:
Barber,henshall, Hackett, smith,Walsh.....Salford,Manchester