General Chat

while searching for my father who i,ve never met, i find i,ve got 2 brothers and a sister, and my father is dead, should i contact them, and if yes, how do i go about it

Think very carefully and hard before hand.

If youre unkown then I would suggest through a 3rd party that also protects your ID

Wishing you all the best which ever road you decide.

That's a tricky one Gerald, and good for you for not just jumping straight in......and having a good think about it beforehand.......shows you have sensitivity......

Did your father have brothers and sisters still alive, because they may know of your existence, and you could ask them.... otherwise I don't know....

sally

Gerald I have nudged a thread ( shimmer's) re adopted siblings, not sure but it may have advice which is applicable to you also.

~~ waves to all

Hi Gerald

We haven't spoken before, extends hand of friendship, hi I'm Shimmer, how nice to meet you. :))

You are most welcome on 'my' siblings thread, have just spoken to Rose there saying to please tell you the same.

Siblings is a thread where we are there for each other whilst searching ... I've walked your path my friend. If I can listen, be of some help, I shall be there for you.

xxx Shimms xxx

Hi Gerald

Like our Shimms, I have walked in the dame path too, it is so difficult to give advice on this matter, if you have any relatives of your father maybe they could help. I do wish you all the luck and it is good that you are not just jumping in head first, please let us know how you get on. Good luck Gerald, will be thinking of you.

xxxxx

Gerald, if you do decide to go looking for them, then be prepared for a roller coaster of a ride.
Please go to Shimmer's thread....and seek advice before going down that road......but if you decide to, then I may be able to help you with some searches in order to find them.
x

You haven't mentioned a Mother Gerald.Is there a cousin or someone who could act on your behalf just to start the ball rolling.
Just by chance I contacted a Birth Cousin through GR and once she had checked things out and realised I was who I said ,she put me in touch with 2 Birth Brothers who had no idea I existed.I was the one that was given up for adoption.They welcomed me with open arms.It is something you have to do carefully and be prepared for rejection.Just go into it with an open mind ,and what will be will be !
I hope it turns out well .I was 53 when I found them.
PM me if you want to ask anything else.
Jane AKA Helen (my birth name) LOL

Good luck with whatever you decide, Gerald. I've been in the same position and have a quite positive experience and also a fairly devastating one so I know it can be very variable.

My main concern in looking for my B Family was upsetting anyone,That was what I was more worried about than finding family.I had had a very happy life with my adopted parents so had no anger .I was just curious.

Hi gerald a brother I never knew existed contacted me via this website,it was a shock but ok.
My question for you is how old are these other children.
If they are adults then I would make an approach(carefully of course)and see how you go,if they are under 18 then no I think you should leave it.

thank you all for the advice , i,ve taken it all on board, my half sister on this site and we,ve been in contact, she knew nothing about me nor her mum, glad it out in the open, will adopt a sofely sofely approach, thank you all again jed