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This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!
POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, and a total embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis..
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do...Or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
** FOOTNOTE **
"THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!
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lol
Hi Lindy
I applied for this job almost 16 years ago!!!
so true
x
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Lindy. Sometimes wish I had not applied for this position 37yrs & then 32yrs ago lol
But then, I wouldn't have my gorgeous g.sons
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Lol..ladies,
I too applied for this job nearly 27 years ago and then was suckered into it again two years later. ..
Vods,
Alas, no grandchildren yet.
Lindy ;))
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LOL I applied for this job 47yrs ago
then 2yrs later and after that nearly 4 yrs later
then just when i thought OH and me were by our selves .....
oh no along came the grandchildren ....
My daughters children i have brought up they are now 15 &13 yrs old
and now were been made redundant...lol
Hazelx
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I have had this job for almost 51 years!!
It doesn't stop when they leave home as you always feel responsible,even for grandchildren and in my case 3 g.grandchildren.
Ok,it's not so much the running them about,but any problems and who do they turn to?
I was saying to my friend the other day that I was the one who ran about after my parents,but it seems the roles have reversed.
Still as long as they are all happy then I am.
Would hate to be without them all.
Brenda x
PS will send this to my daughter who has 3 boys still living at home,the eldest being 29 and youngest 20.I think they are too well looked after!
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