General Chat

how would you feel if some-one handed some-thing back to you,that you had just given them.?

"E"

Did they give any reason ?

I'm not sure what you mean... if it was a gift I had given I think I would be a little miffed, especially if I had put a lot of love and thought into it....... serves me right if I'd just gone out and bought the first thing that came into mind.

If it was something that I was tired of, or no longer fitted/matched/needed, then I would take it on the chin... not everyone wants my second hand cast offs, lol

If it was info on my family tree that I had spent ages and pounds working on, and they took the info, and handed it back to me as their own work, I'd be blinky furious!

Love

Daff xxx

I had to give back a present I was given .....coz the other person wanted it back!!

I was only a child but I was shocked and couldnt work out what I did wrong

hI Ladies,
my story goes that we live just up the road from m i l and we always seem to run out of stuff like toilet roll's,teabags,suger etc.....so we just pop down and ask to borrow some . i always feel awful doing this and today while shopping in tesco i added more items to my trolley to repay her for her kindness,i took the two bags down as soon as i got home, m i l was having her usal afternoon siesta,so i left the stuff with f i l,who told me that she will go mad at me when she sees what i had done,i gave him a pleasant smile, not taking in what he had said seriously.two hours later she came walking past my window with all the shopping i had bought.i was and still am chocked.even got me and oh arguing after she left.he could not see my side of it .i said that she could have just kept the stuff and told me that if i did it again then she would bring it back.now i feel that i am indebted to her.i just feel awful,
"E"

two things - maybe she doesn't really like you borrowing off her and this is her way of asking you not to do it again

secondly, why not buy her a bunch of flowers with a thank you note

trust I havenlt offended you here, not meant I can assure you

hi ann,quite the reverse,if we ask for one toilet roll she sends two up and not acouple of tea bags but a whole half of a bag -ful.
"E"

I think Ann may be right ......

and like she said I would have got flowers ........


BUT

Having said that I agree with what you did and can also see your side of things coz like you I would feel I needed to "repay" what I had taken!!!

Really difficult situation

My slant on it is that she, like me, was happy to still feel *needed* and that you running out of stuff meant that she still had a role in your lives... I would love to have my sons and family living close enough for them to *borrow* the odd loo roll.... maybe she just felt a bit hurt? As Ann said... a little *special* gift of favourite perfume, bunch of flowers etc, might have been appreciated more.

What is your relationship with MiL like? If it is usually good, then I think that is the answer... get her a thank you card and a little bunch of flowers, say *sorry if I upset you, I just wanted to show you how much I appreciate you being here for us* (or similar)... and I am sure all will be well.

Love and ((((((hugs)))))

Daff xxxx

didnlt realise it was your mother in law!!! the only thing mine would have lent me was a bucket of poison

Thank's so much ladies......i feel so much better now......i agree the perfume or card would have been a better option. (i just hadn't thought abt that one) ..........thank-you xx.

"E"

Earth.......

IOn no way do I think you are wrong in what you did ...BUT flowers or purfume would have been more difficult to give back.....

Speaking as both a mother in law and daughter in law, I can see two sides of this.

My OH and I have 6 grown up children between us, and we are always glad to help out, and even flattered that they are not afraid to ask for help.

I'm not talking the odd bag of sugar either, more like deposit on a house, months morgage payment, telly's for grandkids ect ect.

We always tell them that we don't want the money back, so that they don't feel indebted to us, I just tell them that they can change my nappies for me when i'm senile. Also don't expect to be left out in our wills , as they have
already had it!!

Let mil help out and as suggested,buy her flowers or offer to help with her housework if she needs it

Thank-you...Kemp xx.......Annina,i am also mum of seven (but only three at home now)the older ones still borrow from me (never give back)however get lovely pressis from them at birthdays etc...m i l, a hard women to crack ring's at the times me and oh are grabbing the little time we actually can get together,...eg to clost a stuck window,.....to move afridge....when living next door to her she has her daughter and hubby...and the other side her granddaughter &hubby.
"E"

awe maybe she thought she was doing you a favour just letting you borrow stuff now and then , like mams do, and didnt want repayment, thought a kind thought,
she may think by doing this too it would leave you two short of stuff she may not really need,
though its a kind thought on both your parts,
id do as suggested just on here,.
just get her some flowers, and give her a hug and say, im so sorry if i offended you, it wasnt meant that way,can we still be friends,
see what happens
im sure she knows deep down you didnt mean any harm,
poor f i l got an ear bashing i bet, lol

when my son got married I said to my new daughter-in-law, "Well I had a bitch of a mother in law, so you;re going to get one too!!" but I couldn't be nasty to her - she is absolutely gorgeous and I love her to bits, as if she were my own!!!