General Chat

It was the right time for me LWD absolutely, I knew it had come whatever the end result of doing it would be. You face up to that as and when you need to...and move on again in life .

Is there ever a right time though Rose?

Rose you have done what was right at the time. It's a good way of thinking of the things we do and indeed will do.

I think it's maybe that old 'fear of failure' thing.
none of us would like to admit to being a failure at anything hence it's better the devil you know. maybe.

This reply is kind of a message for someone that I can't send privately...

It is such a hard thing to take any 'leap' , especially when you have children . I am not married so can't speak from that angle, but in my own case even leaving Wales and the only home my son had known, for something'unknown' was scary.

But you have to think what is the worst that can happen, is that better than what you are living through now? The worst thing perhaps is to look back and say "if only", if only I had gone while I was, younger, in better health, while there was still a chance of making my own way financially.....

I think writing down the 'pros' and 'cons' is always a good idea, it can seem clearer in black and white...maybe it isn't quite the right time yet, but be open to the thought that the 'right time' is a possibility?

Perhaps the alternative is too scarey

maybe habbit not wanting to be alone hence the saying who knows really some women could stay because they have had abuse from their partners and have low self esteem therefore think they dont deserve any better and beleive that and stay a very hard question to answer

Sometimes it must be hard to break away even if you're miserable. Luckily for me I'm not in that position having been married for nearly 36 years and all of them good ones. It's really difficult to sit on my side of the fence and say that someone else should walk away from an obviously bad marriage. There are so many issues involved - economic, family ties and co-dependancy. I think sometimes it's a like a drug addiction - you know it's bad for you and will probably kill you but you can't let it go.

Sue xx

I think if he didn't make me laugh every day I'd have to chuck him in the dog house!! LOL

I do wonder is some of my neighbours are in mariages of convenience as they never seem to smile at each other.

must be horrid.

Hi Uzzi ~~~~

lol LWD, I didn't mean to keep you awake :)

PollyPoppet, the reason i thought of it tonight really ,was that today is the birthday of one of my mum's friends...sadly no longer here, but like family to me and in a long , happy marriage, as some others I know still are. and connected with that thought were a number of people who stayed together 'for the children', but now the children are grown...what is to hold them?

hi that is very strange you put this thread up i have just sat here about half an hour ago and said those very words scary but very true i think it is diffrent for every one and depends on the way the marriage is and whats gone on to make it like that

Hi Rose Good question.
Being very much in a solid marriage it's pretty hard to answer.
BUT ,ooh I don't know. Now look what you've done. Making my brain think too much before I go to bed!!!!! LOL

Well you'd have to think of everything you'd built together.What it would cost monetarily and personally but then if you can't stand the sight of other person would you be able to look at them day in day out?
I think I am not going to be very good at an answer!!!!

No I wouldn't stay if it was just a case of the devil you know.

I'm not sure there is an easy age limit to it.

ahh that's nice Muffy :))

Can't answer it. Not in a marriage of habit.

Still love my OH same as I did .......if not more........as i did when I married him.........(though he does hack me off hugely at times lol)

I'd like to think that I'd walk away if I wasn't in it heart and soul......but it's hard to say for sure xx

If you were in a 'marriage of habit' would you stay? or have the courage to start again, even if you were 'older'. Would the 'devil you know' be better than 'the devil you don't' ?

how old is too old to make that kind of leap?

not a personal question, so just general answers :))

xx