General Chat

Great calypso song Daphne, as I read it I could hear the tune in my head. Thanks for reminding me.

Bernie

Inspired by this old song perhaps?

Shame and Scandal.
In Trinidad there was a family
With much confusion as you will see
It was a mama and a papa, and a boy who was grown
Who wanted to marry and have a wife of his own
He found a young girl, that suited him nice
And went to his papa to ask his advice
His papa said son, I have to say no
This girl is your sister but your mama don't know
Refrein:
Who, is me, shame and scandal in the family
Who, is me, shame and scandal in the family
A week went by and the summer came 'round
And soon the best cook in the island he found
He went to his papa to name the date
But papa shook his head and to him he said
You can't marry this girl, I have to say no
This girl is your sister but your mama don't know
Refrein
He went to his mama and covered his head
And told his mama what his papa had said
His mama laught, she said go, man, go
Your daddy ain't your daddy, but your daddy don't know
Refrein

NSL posting:

Brilliant Bernie, brilliant!

Brian,
;~ ))

Hi Penny Lane,

You might like this one:

RAISING NATIONAL SECURITY LEVELS DUE TO THE INCREASE IN TERRORISM


The UK Government have just announced a rise in the National Security Level, (NSL), from “Irritated” to “Peeved”. It is expected that this will soon be raised to level 3: “A bit cross”. There is a fourth level: “Rather Angry”, but this is rarely used, the last occasion was in 1940 during the Blitz when supplies of tea ran short and it had to be rationed. In addition to the rise in NSL, extreme terrorists have been re-categorised from “Tiresome”, to “A Bloody Nuisance”, which shows how seriously the British are taking the threat. The last time “A Bloody Nuisance” was used to describe an enemy was in 1745 when Bonnie Prince Charlie invaded England and got as far as Derby.

Italy has been forced to increase its NSL from the first level: “Shout very loudly” to the second: Elaborate Military Posturing”. There are two higher levels: “Ineffective Military Operations” and “Change Sides”.

The Spanish, in accordance with their stance in previous conflicts have only one NSL level: “Neutral”.
They are convinced that their latest submarine will deter all acts of Extreme Terrorism. This beautifully designed vessel has a glass bottom so that the modern Spanish Navy can see the old Spanish Navy.

The Irish Republic, after more than three decades of high levels of security due to the troubles in Ulster, have decided to disband their anti-terrorist police. They now brew more Guinness than ever before and wander around shouting “Bejasus” and “Top O The Mornin” to all and sundry.

The French government have also announced changes in its NSL, from “Hide” to “Get Ready to Run”.
There are two higher levels: “Collaborate” and “Surrender”. It is believed that the rise in the NCL was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed the country’s only white flag factory. This effectively paralyzed the army’s military capability.

The Germans have also been forced to increase their NSL level from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs”. It is rumoured that many are pressing for the level to be increased to: “Invade a Neighbour”. The fourth and highest level, “Lose a War” is unlikely to be used.

Across the Atlantic, our American allies have flexed their muscles and heightened the alert level from “Mobilize the National Guard” to: “Kick Ass”. The USA has only one higher level: Nuke the Bastards”.

As for the Belgians, they have only two slight worries – that Nato and the EU may pull out of Brussels. The terrorism question has caused no problems to date as they are on their six-week vacation period and couldn’t give a damn.

Bernie, great joke, do you have any more as I need chearing up.,

I've not heard it before, thought it was good.

Lesley

Sorry Bernie, that's an old one, lol, been on here or circulated many times.

It's actually a rather sad story of the way things will be for many youngsters in the future, with so many girls getting drunk and then having sex - they won't know who their children's fathers are.
And I am not being puritanical, just realistic.
Lizx

Still only 2 replies.................................................

Not Puritan, Have heard it before!

Must be puritans on GR, only one person commented, oh well, we can't all be pervs I suppose

A girl called Jane, she fell in love;
She planned to marry Joe.
She was so happy with her man,
She told her Daddy so.

Daddy told her, "Janey gal,
You'll have to find another.
I'd just as soon your Mum don't know,
But Joe is your half brother."

So Janey put aside her Joe
And planned to marry Bill.
But after telling Daddy this,
He said, "There's trouble still.…..

You can't marry Bill, my gal,
And please don't tell your Mother,
But Bill and Joe and several more
Could well be your half brother."

But Janey went and told her Mum,
She said, “Bill is my brother,
So is Joe and for all I know,
So is many another”.

But Mother said, “Don’t worry girl,
No need to be so sad,
Marry Bill or marry Joe,
You ain't no kin to Dad!”