General Chat

I am really peed off.I have 2 little grandaughters one of 5 and one of 4.There other grandparents came and took the 5 year old and her 5 year old cousin out the the coast today and left the 4 year old behind.I am so disgusted,and how can you do this.My daughter went and picked the 4 yr up and took her home and spoilt her today.Where are people that do this.I took both these little girls away for a long week end and had no trouble from either.I cant stand people that have favorites. annie

I don't know Annie but it is not fair and not right,shame on them. Kids remember things like this.
Lets just hope that they have a fab day out planned for the other little one sometime soon :(
Claire x

That is disgusting that poor child, shame on those Grandparents. I have 2 Grand-daughters and they are treated exactly the same, always! No wonder you are angry, I feel angry for your Grandchild too.
Lainey

There is a posting on Face book about the nice day they had.I have asked why they left the other one out?Waiting for a answer. Annie

Just to have Grandparents that give a damn about their grandchildren would be a start - my three must be the most unlucky kids around neither side can be bothered - both very selfish - hey ho is there a website to adopt grandparents???

HI, I have two grown up children but no grandkids not that I'm in a rush to have any, but, I would'nt treat one any differently to the other its not nice, children do remember these things and it can have quiet horrid repercutions on the child thats left out.
You have to feel sorry for the other grandparents they obviously have a problem they seem very selfish to me maybe they cant cope and are very shallow people the little ones probably better off without them cos it seems to me the little one already has someone to fight her corner for her and you obviously love her and if the other grandparents hav'ent replied to your request for an answer could it be guilty conscence?

Makes you wonder if they played favourites with their children as well and can't break a dumb and ignorant habit.

I have seen this happen in lots of families. A friend of mine reckons her sister was the favoured one. The mother tells me that it was the other way around. Crazy it just should not happen.

How many grandchildren do they have?How many can they handle on a day out?
Was it a "big girls"day out?Will there be another that the five year old is not invited on?

I have two grt grandchildren that have siblings that arent blood connected to me but i treat them all the same as our grt grandchildren Never would i let a child think their sibling was being treated as a favourite . These kiddies call me BIG Nan the same as the other grt grandkids

I have two granddaughters.... cousins, not sisters..... one is three, the other is four. There is no way I could manage both of these livewires together, lol!!

Also.... the activities that each is naturally inclined towards are totally different.... what will keep one engrossed and enthralled for ages, soon bores the other... and vice versa. Maybe as they grow older, the skills gap will lessen/alter...... but not at this age.

I have to say, then, that I do not treat mine the same... I tailor an activity towards their individual skills and pleasures. But I lurves 'em both to bits!!

Love

Daff xxxxx

GenGennie I have seen occasions where people have advertised for somebody to act as a Grandparent to a child that has none, a bit different I suppose if there are grandparents. have you tried to involve them with the children? I love children and if I lived near to somebody with children who had no grandparents I would 'adopt' them. (I do have 5 Grandchildren of my own, three in their late teens and twenties two younger, love them all and see them as much as possible. Looking after the youngest 2 soon for a weekend and taking a lot of craft stuff to do girlie things with Granddaughter (age 7).

Ann
Glos

But Daff, in a similar situation if you treated one to a day out you would also9 treat the other one on a different day, I know you would.

Yes.... one wouldn't miss out.... they both get their special time with granny, and it has become even more important to me this year, lolol... Just wish I could see more of them... and of course I was unable to see them at all for about 5 months.

But it could look from the outside looking in as though I was favouring.... I would hate that to be said of me..... I remember one of my mother's sisters mentioning that my nan (dad's side) had dragged me to all sorts of weird places, and that my sister had been left out... well, sister refused pointblank to go.... and the weird places were the drama society.... and form some of my best memories of times with my nan, who died when I was 12. My sister, however.... she remembers with pleasure singing for my nan... who would play the piano in the dining room... while I looked on in total boredom!

Love

Daff xxxxx

Ann in Glos - I think I was being a little trite when I asked the question about adopting grandparents. Its a shame you live over the other side of the country I could adopt you tomorrowX
It would take hours to explain the family dynamics but, briefly:-
My parents are in their mid 60's and retired for 3 years, I am eldest of 4 girls - age 42 with a husband (of 21 yrs) 3 gorgeous little girls 9, 8 and 18 mths - my husband is 43 his Mom died when he was 18 and his dad has remarried. We are quite old fashioned and bring our girls up this way - manners, values and respect etc.. My husbands father hasn't even seen his youngest granddaughter despite attempts by us to included them - but they are only interestd in themselves with no interest in us or the children - and I have been the hostess extraordinaire over the years with many hours spent in our house listening to them talking about themselves and ignoring their grandchildren and showing no interest. in his son or his family.
My parents are the main disappointment because of the issue of favouritism, because all children and grandchildren are not really treated the same - but generally none of them are treated in the way I would expect grandparents to treat their Gchildren.
I often feel very sad for my children because my paternal grandmother played such a massive part in my life as did my husbands paternal grandma, and often when I look back I feel so lucky to have had this amazing relationship with my beloved Nab and later my husbands Nan.
Its so clear from the depth of response all off the answers to Grannie of 10 - as I always suspected - we are slightly in the minority. I find it hard to explain to my girls why all their friends spend so much time with their grandparents and why Mummy often gets upset when she speaks to Grandma on the phone.
My baby had Swine flu in the summer (quite a poorly baby) and my parents knew, but it took them 10 days to even ring and then 10 minutes into the conversation to ask how she was!! We had many many messages on our phone from friends but not one from them.
We try very hard not to allow our sadness to tarnish the girls attitude towards them and strangely on the odd occassions our girls see them they adore them - even harder for me to take. We try to tell ourselves we feel sorry for our parents who are missing out on the adoration and love of our children but sadly I think its the children who miss out the most.
Grandparents have a very important role in the lives of their children and it doesn't take much to make a child feel insignificant.
My message to all YOU WONDERFUL grandparents out there is to keep up the good work - your children, and in particular your grandchildren, are very very lucky to have you. I hope your children appreciate how wonderful you are ;-)

Gengennie, it sounds as if you are wonderful parents giving your children all the right values. My daughter is 48 this year and I am 69 so we are more or less in the same age bracket, although her husband is 10 years older than her, they have brought their boys up with old fashioned values and we are very proud of them. We don't see so much of them now as they have their own lives to lead, but the middle one (almost 20) stayed with us overnight on his way to an educational trip to Ireland (what a worry it was too with him driving down the M4 to us) They live an hour and three quarters away from us. When they were young we made a point of going down to see them at least once a month and spending holidays with them. The two youngest are in M Keynes so again a long journey and we don't see a lot of them either, but we keep in touch and know everything they are up to courtesy of the parents. Again son and daughter in law have brought them up as children to be proud of.

As you say, your parents are the ones missing out, how sad not to spare some time for the young of the family.

Ann
Glos