General Chat

I have just received an invitation for my OH and three children and partners to go to a surprise party the catch that we have to pay £32.00 a head for the lunch. OH and I will definately go as its his brothers partner but our three will probably say they wont go if they have to pay, in which case I'll either end up paying for them or the lady in question will probably feel offended if they dont turn up. Any thoughts please.

just because u been invited, dont mean you will have to go and im sure, the host will understand its a lot of money for some people to pay xxxx


edited, i wouldnt pay £32 for a meal lol xxx

£32 for lunch that is a bit steep to ask people to pay in these hard up times. Just reply and say you would be delighted to attend but unfortunately the young members of the family are unable to afford it. Be honest, it is a lot of money and surely they could have found somewhere not so expensive. Don't feel you have to pay for them yourself.

I understand the problem blackrose but don't worry if the children don't go.
You just enjoy the day.

I am with you stray kitten, I would not pay £32 for a lunch either but then my OH and myself don't do parties. Its our 25th anniversary in Sept next year and we have already told the family - "no party" but we know them all too well and they will be organising something. They will be disappointed, we will be in the USA on the day.

Who are the spoilsports? Us for not wanting a party or them for not respecting our wishes?

Blackrose; that lunch had better be good at that price! I am with the others; just be honest and say the youngsters won't be attending this time as they can't afford it.

Bernie; it's your anniversary and you should celebrate it as you wish. We went on holiday for our 25th. We didn't take the kids, just the dog! It was a lovely peaceful week at Portland, Dorset.

Am I the only one who dislikes parties for 'special' occasions? An impromptu family get together is something else entirely, but birthdays and anniversaries I prefer to spend out of the limelight!

Thanks for your support on this. I must say personally I hate surprise parties but I think I will accept for myself and OH and decline for the younger ones as I'm sure they are not really botthered. Especially when its just a few weeks before Christmas.

This reminds me of my mum's 60th! She wasn't really that keen on having a party, although in the end she came round to the idea because she and dad took over the running of the whole thing - initially, I think she was worried because my sister was trying to organise it! But I was in a huge dilemma over this because my sister was all keen on the party and wanted it to be a surprise but my mum spotted the invitation list, asked me . . . and I'm hopeless at lying!

Reading Bernie's post, in that case I would be tempted to make it very clear early on that you won't be around - if you're going on holiday, then mention it or if people ask what you're doing for your anniversary, you could say, "Oh, we're going away to . . ., we've never been and it's a big anniversary so we thought, why not?" My parents have done this for their 35th - they're in Spain and everybody knew that, so no risk of party!

£32 is an awful lot of money to be paying each - multiply that by three and I think I could do a fortnight's food shopping for three on that money! I think if I was declining that, I would say something like, "I'd love to come but, with the added travel arrangements/hotel costs, it's just not possible for us to afford it". Especially just before Christmas!

Thanks Kate, thats what we will probably do. Trouble is they may just have a "surprise party" a month before the date..........................................