General Chat

I dont know if I should get in touch. I never knew any of my fathers side of the family grandad always said he was one of fifteen but so far I have found eleven and I have found a old photo with only eleven. I found the last sisters death and sent off for the death certificate and found and she has a son still alive.

I dont if I should make conact or not there must have been some sort of rift in the family, but there thats got nothing to do with me.

I think I would get in touch.
Perhaps a letter explaining that you have an interest in family history, briefly how you fit in and that you'd welcome a chance to share family information?
I wouldn't mention any rift. The son may know of one, but as you say, that was not anything to do with you.
Sometimes though there's been no rift, - just a gradual 'drifting apart' as people get on with their busy lives and perhaps bringing up their younger family.

If you don't make contact, you may later regret not taking the opportunity. If you don't get a reply, at least you've tried.

Gwyn

Go for it! You've nothing to lose.

It's often the female relatives who keep in touch. Males don't *seem* to be so bothered, hence the loss in contact.

Go for it Linda, you never know all may turn out well

Sorry about the delay in replying but have been out all day, thank you for your views, when my daughter and grandson have gone home, and I am by myself I shalll sit down and write him a letter.
lynn

I did write to the man in question, explaining in brief who I was and who my grand father was. Today I got a rely from him. A sad letter really, his mother only kept in touch with two sisters and he did not even know about my grandad. His words were "to say they were not a close family would be a wild overstatment".

He went on to give me a little information but I got the feeling my g grand mother was difficult, and he has not got very good memiors of her.

I'm thinking now of writing to him with the information that I have got, also I have a old photo of my grandad and all of his family taken about 1915-1916 I could have a copy taken and send it to him.

The letter left me feeling very upset.

I am sure he would like to have the copy of photo and what info you have Linda... .it can't hurt to do so , as you say below if there was a rift it has nothing to do with you or him . I think lots of big families are like that really, they go seperate ways if there is no one 'holding it all together' and perhaps the gt grandparents were just not the type to do that.

Good luck with it anyway
Rose x

Thanks Rose, Just been talking to my brother and he feels the same, this man did'nt know his grandad and I wonder if what happened in the family happened after he died. Very sad

Lots of families lose touch with each other, I have made lots of effort to find cousins on my Dad's side especially that I have never met or only met once, but altho they are happy to chat on the phone, it's always me has to make the running. I think often men especially just don't bother, I am sure if my Mum hadn't made the effort to keep in touch with some of Dad's family, with us living over a hundred miles away and never having a car, we wouldn't have known even the ones we did meet. I only ever saw my paternal Grandmother about half a dozen times and she died when I was in my mid twenties. It's the way things were then when it wasn't so easy to phone because few folk had telephones and the only way was by writing a letter and sending it snail mail. It was often the wives who did the letter writing and so once they died or weren't well enough, contact was lost. Sad but true.

I hope your new found relative will like the photo and information.

Lizx

Something vaguely similar happened within my dad's mother's family.
Grandma and several of her sisters were always falling out., nothing unusual there, but unfortunately this got carried into adult life, and then on down to their children, 1st cousins, who as a consequence didn't really get to know each other.

Now the next generation are wondering what it was all about!!!
On a happy note, 2 lads from that next generation, who never previously knew each other, were recently introduced to each other at a family funeral. They discovered they live not too far away from each other and have become good friends.

So in answer to your question....It's not important what happened way back then, enjoy being in touch with your new found relative now, in the present.
Life is too short for us to be burdened with the legacy of our ancestors quarrels.

K