General Chat

I often wonder why people join Genes Reunited.You would think it was to find information about their ancestors,yet when an obvious connection turns up in Hot Matches and I write to let that member know what information I have ,there's very rarely even an acknowledgement let alone a thankyou or an exchange. I don't think I'll bother any more-it's so disappointing. What experiences have you others had ,and how do you feel about it ? Maybe it's just that my family has a particularly mean set of genes!!!

Go to your 'sent messages' box and check that there isn't a purple envelope which means it hasn't been read.

If it has, then as you say, they might just not be bothered, or didn't have the time then and promptly forgot to reply later!

I know it's really annoying but some people may not have updated their email contact address if they've changed it so never receive your message. Check your sent messages to see if it's been opened,.

There are other reasons too, for example I got a message yesterday just headed "family" saying we had quite a few matches and how was I connected to him, how do I know if he hasn't put who the matched are?

regards
Dee x

I'm still waiting for a reply to one sent in August. I did get a reply to one after a year though. I just think this hobby is not as intense for some folk, they don't spend as much time on it as others. It's their choice isn't it, to use the site how they wish, same as for us, however frustrating it is.

Well I never answered any Hot Matches for about 8 months...... I was too ill, and found reading for too long made my balance go.. bit like vertigo... still can't find the energy to go researching any of my Joneses or Roberts' for a tenuous link, to be honest... some others I ignore now... if they just send a bog standard I have opened my tree or... open your tree etc... I consider that rude, so ignore it.

Others I need to look up the info... bare bones only on most on this site.... and still don't feel up to it... but will add as much as I can to those requests which are pleasant, informative with how they may be connected, and which I know most of the details off the top of my head.

On a day when my thoughts are scrambled... I reply with a sentence I have got stored in documents... it basically says that I have been ill, it looks like there is a connection, but I don't feel up to looking just yet... would they please get back to me in a couple of weeks and I will respond if I can.

I have done a few of the latter.... and then e-mailed certificates etc later.

But I know that my non-replies to uninformative but demanding possible matches might be considered rude.

Also... my cousin was hot-matched with me constantly for two years after I had been to her funeral... the family hadn't realised she had been doing her tree! Nor did they know her password details etc. That was very spooky and distressing.

There are loads of reasons why people don't respond.... and I know I have fallen into most of those categories, myself.

So.... just ask yourself a couple of questions if you are not getting responses.....
1....... how can I word my request so as to grab attention and make it easier for the match owner
2...... What circumstances would or could prevent me from answering others' requests for information.

Then I imagine you might have as valid an answer to your thread question.

I mean... why should I be courteous if I am dead, or unable to play at genealogists because health reasons prevent me looking in.

I have to say, I have had a lot of brilliant hot matches..... and only 3 really rude responses to my answers to their requests in all that time.

Don't know if that makes me mean, or not.... think it just makes me human! lol

Love

Daff xxxxx

Alison, keep at it, you will find people who really do want to help.
Sometimes too, people get a bit overwhelmed with life!
They could have problems, be ill, have someone in hospital... there are many reasons which of course include 'ignorance'. But don't give in Alison.
Good luck
Deanna X

I don't look at hot matches, i don't open my tree either

So maybe i shouldn't be here either

წ Julie წ

Hang in there,Alison,not everyone is mean and nasty! I have had many people pass on brilliant information to me,and naturally I have reciprocated with my information,and shared what I know.One very helpful lady sent a photo of my husband's great grandparents,we had no idea what they looked like,so that was fantastic.The second Hot Match I contacted when I first started here has become a very good friend to me-
I live in Australia and I have recently returned from a wonderful holiday in the UK where I stayed with my 5th cousin and her family and got to know her very well.I was treated just like her family,and hope to reciprocate when she and her hubby come out to stay with us.

I have had a few very rude replies,or requests,which I have just ignored,and one very obvious Hot Match has ignored 4 requests from me,and has never bothered to reply,or even acknowledge that I have contacted her,but hey,that's her loss! I'm not going to bother myself about it.Generally people are keen to share details,if they're not,well it's just too bad. Don't give up though, Alison,you never know when you will strike gold!

Hi everyone,thanks for all your replies.Yes,I always check for any messages,so it's not that. OK, so some people may be ill--or dead!--but I don't suppose I've had more than a handful of responses to Hot Matches in a good few years even when it's obviously a close match. I'll probably carry on responding after all 'cos I'm an eternal optimist!