General Chat

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...and your point (.) being? LOL

Is this the same as on FB Rosie?

my granddad died and then my nan then a cousin ... the next person to go down that grave was my dad .. but my uncle died 1st who was the father of the cousin .. my dads sisters went on and on at my dad to give up the grave space , in the end he did .. my dad then bought a plot in the same cemetery .
i go there a lot a very lot and put flowers on my dad and mums grave and my nan grandads and uncle and now aunt . what *iss** me off is the grave is a mess .. my uncle had a son and 3 daughters and no one goes there , im totally disgusted .

yes TW it is x , i am so upset with my bl*** family .. my dad deserved to go with his mum and dad but it was taken away from him .. and for what ..
totally gobsmacked

Know how you feel Rose....When I lived close I used to take my eldest when she was a baby and tend inlaws grave every month.

God only knows what condition it is in now we live 100 miles away.....BIL and Uncle live locally but to my knowledge they NEVER visited it.

We paid to have it mowed and tended twice a year but I'm under no illusions I bet it looks neglected and I HATE the idea.

I think tbh in 5 years we've moved away we've only been twice... which is disgraceful :0(

the thing is muffs your case is understandable , all my cousins live a stone throu from there and its their mum and dad and sister and nan and grandad . i live 2 bus rides away and i make the effort ..
the grave is an eyesore im ashamed :( but it does have some lovely daffs on there from ME xxx

Irritating that they take so little care, but it sounds like your dad's better off where he is Rosie, with you to visit him.

Rose my OH never went....even when we lived close

He found it too painful....
xx

Rosie hun, you can pride yourself that you are at least putting flowers on it, and you are obviously looking after your Dad's grave, and that's the important thing, you're doing him proud.

Sometimes life just takes over, and some things get left behind.

thanks Maggie yer he is , and he has my mum now ( hes probly cursing me lol ) but i put flowers on all the graves , but i cant afford the upkeep on the grave and why shoulkd i , but i feel so guilty that im gonna have to sort it out myself , coz after all they are my family xx

i know what your saying muffs and thats ok if thats how he feels then thats how he feels , , but there as loads in this family
i dont begrudge visiting one bit always have always will , but it just aint right x

Perhaps you can do a bit to it when the better weather comes Rosie,youre dad would be right proud,:}

Some dont find it necessary to upkeep graves and think its up to the council.and see no reason or sense to visit........!!

Kay the grave is a stone with bed , dont realy need no upkeep , but there is never any flowers apart from my dead ones that i had left ,
no one tends to it ant puts anything on there , that grave belongs to someones mum and dad , some flowers now and again wouldnt go a miss , if they didnt want to look after it then why didnt they get their parents cremated .

Rosie,
I understand you r frustration.
Have you tried a plant in a pot?
May last longer than cut flowers and just need a bit of water when you visit your dads grave.
May also make them feel guilty when they DO visit!

Maggie, I did that with my Grandparents grave, just up the road from you. I can't get down there, so only get to put flowers on it once in a blue moon, but when I was about 16, I planted some daffodil bulbs, and they still come up every year I'm told. So there are always flowers there from me.

We always used to take windmills and stuff that would make the grave look a bit brighter ...Never laid flowers only pot plants as I only went monthly and flowers look so sad after a week. ...let alone a month.

I feel quite ashamed as I have to be honest and say I haven't given the grave a thought for ages.

MUST make a point of getting down there this summer now......xx

im just having a rant , it probably isnt as big as im making out , but i go to my mum and dads alot and always make sure its tidy and has flowers
im just miffed that in 7 + years no one has been to my aunts and uncs ..
i even found a grave that was my great nan and gt and granddad and other family and i always put flowers there too lol
costs me a fortune so it does , but its worth it ..
when i went yesterday i saw a babys grave (there is a baby section there ) and there was a princess money box , i put in a pound , not sure if that was the right thing to do but i i just felt i had to xx

Aww bless you.

I think I'd have done the same hon ...Baby graves break my heart xx

mine too muffy .. xxxx