General Chat

As seen in a dog's diary:

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! Fantastic!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! Fantastic!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! Fantastic!
Noon - Oh boy! The garden! Fantastic!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! Fantastic!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! Fantastic!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! Fantastic!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mum! Fantastic!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! Fantastic!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! Fantastic!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! Fantastic!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! Fantastic!


As seen in a cat's diary:


Day 383 of my captivity.

My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture and urinating on the bath mat.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair - must try this on their bed, or swallow enough thread from my captors mending basket to produce a trailing piece of faecal matter.

I decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in
an attempt to make them aware of the horror that I am capable of and
to try to strike fear in their hearts.

They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I am.

Hmm, not working according to plan...


Later, there was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food.

More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage......

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.

My proof is that the dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.

He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, as he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move.

Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

..... for now.

Sue x

LOL - OMG the cat is a combination of my 3 cats!!!
One eats houseplants
One weaves between my legs - particularly on the stairs
One leaves bloody patches containing the spine, tail and liver of a mouse in the kitchen

....and one of them vomits on the sofa...........

......but they have a cat flap, so are free to leave......are they out to kill me......

Lol


Daff will like this

It'll just be a cunning ruse, Maggie .......