General Chat

Gillian, from something someone said earlier, I had a thought, why not have a diary for Stephen, I am sure you will find one somewhere for this year, or just type a sort of private blog and print it off as you fill a page. Just write down your thoughts every day or whenever you feel like it and make it like a book, if you do the page printing, tell him how you feel, what has happened in your day. I bet when you read it a year on you will see that you are in less pain than this moment, and so it will go on. As I think it was said, you learn to accept your loss and live with it, not squashing down the memories but riding with them and spreading the love among your family knowing Stephen doesn't grudge his relatives here the time and love you give.

Lizxx

Thinking of you.
Sue
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hello gillian, cant believe its 4 yrs keep being strong he is looking down at you from heaven in peace look at the lives you have both saved too xxxx

Thank you it is so good to have friends around at a time like this, bless you allxx

:))

A big (((((((((HUG)))))))))) for you Gillian. You may not feel strong at the moment but we all know you are so very strong. You are bound to struggle at times but just think of the happy times you had with your son & what you have acheived since your loss. Your friends will always be here for you.
Hilary xxx

make a plan for april,
and give yourself something to look forward to,
tho im sure its hard to get out of that cloud isnt it,

you can even set aside time each day to write a letter to stephen, telling him all the things that day youve done, and put it under your pillow, or in a keepsake box,

i wish i could help you,
sending you hugs
xxx

Bless you all, the month of March always brings me down, but I will survivexx

Gillian, I would love to help you with some wise words... BUT, I cannot even image your pain .
If it helps at all and I know it wont, I am thinking of you and pray for some peace for you love.
Bless you
Deanna X

it will be there always,
i think sometimes its just a bit easier,
you loved stephen and should be expected not to feel so sad,

i used to ask same question after years of crying for my mam,
(and im sure the pain of your child is like your heart torn out)

i used to feel guilty almost for crying for mam every day, and couldnt see it stopping,
but eventually it did, i still get my days, where i sit and feel sad, and do cry still
but its not constant,
i suppose its an acceptence of the situation,

plus it got less after i started seeing medium, (im not suggesting this for you, it may not be right ) but i started to think she was always watching,
and helping, now somethings happen and i have chuckle to myself, and think , thats mam

i hope this for you gillian, and your stephens memories come back to you bringing you a smile

Gillian, I still struggle at times and it's 36 years since I lost my daughter, so don't expect not to be grieving for Stephen and for it not to hurt, I promise that gradually time will ease things a little for you. 4 years isn't so long, and you have had a lot of extra turmoil and sadness in that time, with the worry of the rest of the family's health too. Try to take some comfort that Stephen is with his little one and that one day you will all be together again and meantime, you have the rest of the family to share the love and grief with, as well as the joys they will have in the future. Life will not be all sadness, let yourself be open to the pleasures your other children and family can bring and know that Stephen will be sharing them too.

Lizxx

Hello Gillian

No one expects you to forget Stephen,your memories will never fade as such but time will heal, its different for everyone, you learn to cope in different ways. When my mum died in 1981 l really wanted to go with her, l really could not except she was gone...it took about 3 yrs for me to except she had gone and a further 20yrs or more to realise l could'nt phone her anymore. Of course l still miss her but l get on with life too.
l may not be able to respond to this post as l am away from home.
Take care, thinking of you.

jude xxxx

Stephen will always be in your heart Gillian
Mau (XX)

Gillian, Adding my love and prayer s to all the others have said,I believe there is healing in the grieving, memories cant ever be erased from you heart,
Stephen is always close, there is a special place for him with your memories.

love Jean xx

(((((hugs))))) for you Gillian, you do so well most of the time and are so strong but , even though time heals, you are always going to miss your lad, it would be wrong if you didn't. Thinking of you. xx

Gillian Jennifer, I can only assume from your messages that today is a special anniversary of losing someone you loved.
Time does heal and life is hard - cliches I now but very true.
Would you like to share how you're feeling tonight?
We're all here for you. PM me if you don't want to post on general board xxxxx

Awww hun ., remember happy times and memories they will be in your heart forever , time is a great healer , you have come this far x, xxxxxxx
Rosex

Folk tell me time heals, but how much time, as it s not workingxx still destroyed and finding life hardxx sorry xx..

4 years and I am strugglingxx