General Chat

thats lovely Persephone
:)
xx

I am new to being a grandmother, she's only four months, she is absolutely gorgeous and i adore her and her personality is showing already,(she's going to be a live wire lol) My daughter who i have always been very close too is very protective although its early days, i will have to see how it pans out. watch this space lol

This is what my OH said at my daughter's 40th birthday.
To Mxxxxx

40 is an excellent age. Enough time gone by to gain lots of experience and enough time left for plenty more adventures.

In our memories is a little Mxxxxx just like the little girl on the card, with a red trike and a large rubber ball and a foxy doll called Wogie. Nana and Grandpa Exxxx’s special girl.

Now you’re a mum yourself and good at it too. Being a mum is one of the most important roles on earth. You and Bxxxx can be very proud of how you have brought up your little family.

And you can be proud of your other achievements. Graduating as a teacher. The rest home qualification. Being in charge of nights in the rest home. But specially your ECT Diploma and what you are doing now at Rocket Kids.

Nothing has ever been made easy for you. You’ve worked hard and made lots of friends at the same time. Many people would not have had such commitment. You did, so be proud. We are of you.

Love from Da and Ma

You can never have too much hugging and kissing!!!!!

I've only given advice when asked.
When my grand daughter (now aged 7) was born, my daughter asked me 'How should I bring her up?' i suggested she did it the same way she had brought her dog up (see 'It's a dog's life' thread).
Grand daughter is lovely (to me anyway!!). I have no dining room, so TV is opposite the table - she does things she can't do at home - like watch TV while she eats breakfast!!!
If I had any 'issues' with my grand daughter's behaviour - I would confront her with them, not my daughter
Two year old grandson is 'into' my dolls houses - there are 2 he can play with and 2 he can't touch - he know this and respects it.
My daughter can't believe I trust him to behave whilst in the room with them!!
He also respects the cats and has been warned that if he really annoys him - they have sharp claws (they've - the cats - there are three - never scratched or bitten anyone in their 3 years)
As far as I'm concerned - my grandchildren been brought up beautifully - they say 'please' and 'thank you' at granny's house, and are relatively well behaved for my daughter!! LOL

ps - I was useless at preparing my grandson's bottle when I first babysat (he was on breast & bottle at the time) because I'd never mixed a bottle in my life!!!

At least we'll be remembered for that Sue,better than,,,

"""She was an old draggon, always moaned and I hated going to visit,:}}}}}}

grandmas are supoed to be a soft touch,,,,,,,,,,,:}

Kay - I get told off for too much kissing and hugging too:-)) Daughter's partner says I'm a "soft touch" but I don't think he minds.

Sue xx

I'm a little wary of giving advice to son's partner. We do get on well but she's more inclined to talk to her own mother. My daughter on the other hand accepts advice better from me than her MIL who she gets on well with but who is a little too free with advice and criticism for my daughter's liking.

Sue xx

Cant answer that Sue,,,:}

but in-law or not if I felt I need to have a point then I would,but everyday to day running of children lives is down to the mums and dads, I see a good job being done so no concerns,in my care I handle it my way but its near the way of mum and dad so
no problems,,,,,,I do get told off for over kissing,,ha ha ha,,,,,,,,

We're lucky to be a close family too, Linda. My oldest son lives too far away but that's the consequence of being in the army. It's only 1 1/2 hours by plane so they are still within easy reach and our grandson is old enough to remember us from visit to visit. My other two regularly ring their brother for a chat and the children love to talk to their cousin.

Sue xx

Sue in answer to your question, it is much harder to give advice to a daughter in law than a daughter. well, I think it is.

I think there is a difference in offering helpful advice and making critical comments.

I like good manners too so I'm happy to say that the grandchildren have lovely manners although they do forget at times:-)) My daughter does take my advice at times. Which brings me to another question. Do you find it easier to give advice to daughters than to daughters in law?

Sue xx

Yes Sue thanks getting there.

I think all grandparents have their little well meaning say without realising it,.as long as things are ok and no cause for alarm then we have to be an onlooker, ,,

,I dont wait to be asked for advise Ive just gently give it,;ha ha,,but never been told to butt out,but thev'e taken it on board and give it a try,,

Im very strong about manners i will correct anyone who dosnt say please or thankyou i embarress myself some times

Hi Kay - hope you are well. Yes I see that each generation does things differently. I sometimes often feel I don't understand where the young ones are coming from. However I have 4 grandchildren who are happy, healthy and well mannered so I think their parents must be doing something right. They are disciplined if they play up and they have their routines - just not as strict as in the "olden days". I don't often criticise but I do offer advice. I'm just prepared for them not to take the advice:-))

Sue xx

Hi Sue~~

I think its just a generation thing as time passes on,no doubt our own parents were seen not to have the right stance on their children,,and theirs before them,,,,,,,Victoria has been gone a long time now:}}}}}}

we just have to learn not to interfere,unless theres just cause to.

Sorry Eileen - you posted as I did. What you say sounds very sensible. We have a great deal to do with our grandchildren for the reasons you put down. That is except the grandson we visited as he lives a long distance away. We don't feel "put upon" as our daughter is very careful not to take advantage and always has back-up should we want to go away or are unable to babysit the children. She is lucky that she can structure her working hours around school and day-care and her partner's working hours.

Sue xx

I think one thing that is better, is children being able to be children around anyone , when we visited my maternal grandmother we had to sit on the settee and we could only speak if we were spoken to, you emptied your plate and you did the washing up etc.paternal grandmother was brilliant, she got us playing games would make us her lovely fag ash and chips we never had to wash up and we loved it, im very very against children being made to eat something they dont want too, if your worried about them not getting enough vitamins, you can always sneak the food in, mine loved mashed potatoes, so i mashed peas in there too as they didnt want peas, they ate it because i called it power rangers mash, but understand fully about rashining and being made to finish your meal but its passed.

That's true Linda. She was brought up in difficult times and I know she thought we weren't strict enough with our children. She now thinks this generation are very slack in the way they bring up their families.

Sue xx

It's rather like the old joke about boys of seventeen thinking their dad knows nothing, then a few years later being amazed at how much their dad has learned......of course dad knew all these things all along, the lads were just not listening.........
...
I think it is helpful and comforting for one's children to know that their parents have had the same uncertainties and worries, and that they have got through them. Children who at sixteen or so, have no time for their parents and their parents advice, often are only too pleased to have mum there to help with baby. Many of us grandparents are actually doing more to bring up our grandchildren than our children are able to do, because of work and high mortgages etc.....

......We have five children,(several still living at home) and for one of our daughters we have been very full time helpers for our grandson, as she and her partner have lived with us for years, and both had worked. She has just had son no.2, .... today......our fourth grandson,....... they will be bringing baby home tomorrow, and are still with us for a few more days as their house is not quite ready.........

We have years of useful money and timesaving tips honed to perfection over the course of raising five children, and plenty of ways round sorting squabbles, tears, and tantrums.........the result is we all get maximum pleasure of being with the children..........mum and dad get time to themselves too, knowing that the children are with people they trust to do things their way..........which is pretty much our way too, of course, because they have largely copied our parenting ways, just tweaking them here and there ....

Eileen
birth name......