General Chat

Norris was halfway down his first pint when Norbert (Nobbie to his friends) and Dot walked into the bar. Shedding their hamster hair parkas, they warmed themselves in front of the crackling log fire then made their way through the throng of locals to sit with Norris. There was plenty of space due to the subtle aroma floating around him, aided by the warm atmosphere. ‘Thanks again, mate’ Nobbie said as he handed him a bulging envelope. ‘No problem’ he replied as he stuffed it into the back pocket of his crimplene trousers. ‘What do you want me to do next week then?’
‘We’ve been thinking about it’ said Dot. ‘How about doing the headless Viking on the horse again?’ Norris pondered for a moment and nodded. ‘Yes, OK, but it will cost more if I have to bring the donkey. That’s the deal, take it or leave it’. ‘Suits me’ nodded Nobbie. ‘We’ll just stick a few quid on the entrance fee and have a raffle or something. Same time OK for you?’ ‘Yep, I’ll be there, same script as tonight – you operate the owl call and I’ll ride out from behind Arbuthnot Scrimshaws tomb and gallop across to the Workingmens Club car park’ replied Norris, emptying his glass and looking mournfully at the bottom of it. Not getting any response from either of them, he sighed, stood up and departed with a wave. ‘See you next week then, be good!’

Nobbie and Dot settled into the comfortable bar stools and Dot took out her money bag. She counted out £300 and gave half to Nobbie, who stuck it in his pocket and ordered a pina colada and coke for himself and a bottle of Newcastle Brown for Dot. Sipping contentedly at their drinks, Nobbie looked at Dot and murmured ‘Do you think we should double the fee for next time and do a bit more advertising?’ Dot shook her head vigorously. ‘No, leave it as it is. We’ve got them queuing up to come and by only letting a few at a time in it makes the rest more desperate. When we move up to Broken Neck Hill we can double it and up the price then. Don’t forget we can throw a few UFOs in when we get there’. Nodding sagely, Nobbie went back to his drink, the plastic umbrella catching him in his eye and somewhat spoiling the air of sophistication he imagined it brought to him.

Their musings were broken by the arrival of Vlad, a striking figure in his long black coat, trilby hat and black turtle neck sweater with a large gold chain on display round his neck. Dot handed him an envelope and he ordered an absinthe and tonic. None of them noticed the blond girl in the corner reading a copy of Chat magazine and casting the occasional glance in their direction………

To be continued.


Copyright as before, this time the laws of Malawi apply.