General Chat

I initially only put my tree on Genes Reunited as a way of keeplng it on record - I had inherited a manuscript of research going back to 1450 which was getting tattier and tattier and I felt I ought to preserve it and could'nt afford to commission a copy of the elaborate scroll it was. It was only later that I got the bug and began to exchange and research further information.
I initially had no thoughts of any obligation to provide lnformation to anyone else.

I guess its a case of 'get over it'. Since I joined GR I have been plagued by one name who seems to share all of my family, but I have never had a reply. Their loss - maybe mine too but not a lot I can do about it.

Suppose there's always the chance that their computer's been stolen or something similar.

I must admit, I am getting pickier about which queries I answer now. If I get an enquiry about someone and type out a detailed summary of what information I know and how I'm connected, only to get a reply like "That sounds like him" or "Yes, that is my Mary" etc without any extra information I have to confess I don't always reply back because I can't find a starting point to continue the information exchange. I am also getting more reluctant to answer queries like "Was your Mary Smith married to John Edwards?" because there is no extra information about why the person making contact is interested in them or any explanation about how they are connected.

So I would say maybe sometimes it's all in the tone of the first query. I know I should answer all e-mails and messages, but if the message is really brief and vague (ie. was your Samuel Rowland married to a Lucy?) it doesn't make me as inclined to answer it as a message that reads, "I think my great-great grandfather was a Samuel Rowland, married to Lucy, who lived in Long Bennington. I believe they had eight children - Charlotte, Ada, Arthur, Eliza etc - and my link to them is through Samuel's half-sister Selina Annie Norris, she is my great-grandma" because that gives me lots of starting points to say how I'm connected and what I know about the other children in the family.

I'm going to sound snappish here ...

We're seeing a good two threads a day with this same complaint. Over and over and over. And some of us try to explain the problems and possibilities, over and over and over.

The big one that nobody seems to grasp -- and you know, I wonder how many peple complaining are guilty of it themselves -- is that people tend to change email addresses relatively frequently.

If you change your email address *and don't update your account info* at a site you subscribe to -- like this one -- then you don't get mail from it. Like notices of messages on the system.

How many people who get peeved about not getting replies know how to check to see whether their messages have even been read? (If the envelope beside the message in your "Sent messages" folder is still purple, it hasn't been read. Almost certainly because no notice of it has been received, almost certainly because the person's email address has changed.)

So I'm willing to bet that in a majority of these cases, nobody is snubbing anybody, somebody just has no idea that somebody else has sent them a message.


I might ask ... why do people start threads on this board when they have obviously never read any messages here? If one looks at this board even once a day, one could simply not help but notice all of the threads griping about the same thing, day after day after day ...

Nobody here knows why some unknown person hasn't answered a PM from somebody else!!!

I think also people should bear in mind that many people join GR because it is advertised as a place where they can access census details.. not necessarily to contact other people who may be 'up the same tree'.

Also some will use the tree making facility as just that, an easy way to put a tree onto their computer for 'storage' , and for no other reason.

Whilst it is very interesting to hear from people who share part of your ancestry, it is by no means the only reason for joining GR...and if you know your 'close' family anyway...you really might no be interested in your second cousin's sister in law by marriage.....lovely though she may be, lol.

Hi David, I have copied and pasted a reply I made to a similar query on another thread. hope this helps. xx

I am in the middle of something like this right now - except I am the person not opening my tree for the time-being.

The person who contacted me has my grandmother and several of my great aunts and uncles on her tree through a relative of her husband's cousin, or something.

Anyhow, something didn't sound right, so when I checked the marriage date on Ancestry it turns out there were two people with exactly the same name who married in the same quarter of the same year - but at different ends of the country! And there only seems to be one birth - my ancestor's - so I think this contact has simply adopted my rellies by mistake because she doesn't realise that not everyone's birth can be found that easily!

I have sent for the marriage certificate of my ancestor and have also emailed a GR member who I know to be a distant relly. Meanwhile, Having explained this person's possible muddle, I am still being asked to open my tree.........

My cousin died 4 years ago... she had two accounts.... one of them is still alive, but her dad doesn't want to delete it as it is a link to her.

She was just 37.... so didn't want to die... but she did.

There may be others like her.

Really, I do get upset at people who are demanding to know why people don't respond.... there are all sorts of reasons. It isn't life or death, and not the end of the world if they don't... just try to accept that there may be a real genuine family tragedy out there stopping them from replying,

Good luck with your research, but please, show a little bit of thought to those who may not be able to reply.

Daff

Oooh, Shelly, I hope I am not one of the 'very old' people. I am only 74.

Huia.

Unfortunately David, people do not have to pay to subscribe to put their tree on here.
With some it is just a passing whim and they give up, sometimes to return but often not.

Or maybe no longer members David, if you leave your tree stays on. Or maybe ill and in hospital or even worse, or maybe on a long holiday. Some people have received replies after 2 years.

Why do some people go to the trouble of subscribing to Genesreunited, placing their family info on a tree then NOT answer queries sent to them, are they lazy, selfish or just plain rude.