General Chat

The Government has refused proper health care to many elderly citizens due to their advancing years. It is a worrying problem for many but help is at hand.

Join the new free care plan today. If you are 60 years or older, you can apply. All new members will receive a gun and four bullets.

You are allowed to shoot one MP (two if you live in England ), one MSP, one councillor and just to be sure of a long sentence, someone you really don't like and think the world could do without.

As part of the plan, you will leave enough evidence to make sure you are caught and in due course will be sent to prison.

There you will get a safe central heated environment, three meals a day, lots of company, free TV and an assortment of games plus - most importantly - all the health care you need!

New teeth needed? No problem.
New glasses? They'll be provided.
New hip, knees, kidney, lung, heart? They're all covered too.

And who will pay for all of this? The same government that told you they cannot afford your current health care.

And as an added bonus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay income tax anymore.

I dont want any spare parts, they can put their scalpels away!
! intend to grow old disgracefully, would relish a spell inside , library, heat & 3 square meals, oh yes !




When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple

with a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

and satin candles, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired

and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

and run my stick along the public railings

and make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

and pick the flowers in other people's gardens

and learn to spit.