General Chat

Its really simple but it works.
I dont know about you but when I was young If I left my shoes behind I got prickles,if I left my lunch I was hungry, I learnt how to use the lttle sharp knife for cutting things and cut myself in the process and I got the odd small burn off the toaster.
It sets you up for the world,our poor kids today go from living there world through tv and games,absolutely nothing happens to them, you crash you car on xbox everyone comes back to life and carries on,if you lose something no worries mum and dad will get another one etc etc then they get up to a certain age and we set them loose with no life skills,or we have them clinging to our skirts when they are 40.
Look at school everyone gets a reward no one fails the poor beggars get to the real world and it is such a rude surprise to them,they are genuinly astonished that other people dont find them as spectacular as mum and dad do.
I guess my point is
If she has been wrapped up in cotton wool telling her what to do will not work at all her own radar has to be sharp first.
It sounds like you are doing all the right stuff at your place ,give her heaps of responsibilities if things go badly stand by and encourage her as she learns to work it out let her know stand up dust yourself off think it through and try again that way if she encounters a problem she will be thinking how do I solve this how do I get away Oh I can call out to that adult I can cross the road I can go back in to the shop she wont be thinking help wheres dad I dont know what to do

do it gently a short distance at first
till the child and the parent gain confidence in the big wide world

bad things can happen no matter where even in the home
but are more likely to happen to kids that are not streetwise

the caterpillar must be allowed to become a butterfly and gain its wings

you right reggie.we hear such horrible things ,hes really worried .i think he knows he has to take the bull by the horns.hes just not sure how .xxx

its time to cut the apron strings
and gently allow the child more freedom to
be come their own person

hard as it is its for the child's benefit
good luck xx

tania i like that idea .when she comes to ours ,she helps do the veg ,and will get herself stuff to eat as in sarnies etc.when she goes back to her moms the things she came with she has to sort it out to take back.my son has always been protective of her .the only men around her here are 1 million percent trustworthy.but i feel she needs to start learning for herself .its just where to start.hes told her she can have a boyfriend when shes in her 50s .lmao.and she can work with the nuns till then .xxx

thanks stray .its just where does he begin.and how far.wish there was a book .i had lads and yes we talked and they seemed to do ok.but girls are a different kettle of fish.xxx

baby S is 4 but can only play out with the older kids, and isnt allowed of the front, if not hes in the garden,

once they go the seniors you have to gve them more freedom, the town to us is 3 mile and a bus ride so he wont be goign with friends till hes at least 13,

the shop is a few doors down so he be going there when hes 6 for me bread n milk hahaa,

i think ya have to be honest with her, explain ya worries, and you will probably find she reassures him, shes a big girl not daft and knows the worries he has, its amzing how even the most neive kids, know whats goign on around them

xxx

I think before you start out with the shop issue you have to go right back to cause and effect and consequences.
Children have enormous difficulty in this day and age because they never experience consequence.
If they leave there lunch behind mum will brave all sorts of hurdles to race it to them if they forget shoes mum or dad will carry them if they are cold someone will give them a jersey If they go to climb anything or do something a bit risky mum and dad stand wringing there hands while calling the fire brigade to bring in a giant mat so they are not hurt.
maybe a bit of an exageration but we see it on these boards all the time grown adults living with there parents still not getting the consequences of the world.
My thoughts with her would be to start with the basics,get her doing lots of things at home which involve her thinking for herself,making her own lunch,packing her own bags making simple desicions and let her feel the natural consequence of mistakes.
When she is adept at a bit of problem solving at home she will automatically be more adept at coping with the people she might meet in the world then you can start helping her to figure out potential scenarios with a child that actually has an idea of how to think on her feet

any advice on what to warn her about or suggestions on what or how to say it.hes mortified that she was seen near her local shops without her mum about .i said .....you know shes 11 this year.he said yes and i dont want her at risk lol.xxxhelp .

im Having that same problem mate :(
I have started to let her go down the shop with her friends , she starts big big school in sept and she will be going there with her friends :( apparently if i take her she will never forgive me lol .. I think now is the time hun for your son to let her girl have some freedom and get a bit street-wise .. but as long as she knows not to talk to strangers , she should be ok .. wish him luck xx
Rosex

my sons daughter is 11 this year .basically hes always wrapped her in cotton wool so to speak.baring in mind theres some dodgy folk about,shes not been allowed to wander so to speak.what age should she be allowed to say go down the shops etcon her own.or go into town with her friend /friends.also i suggested nows the time to give her some advice on dealing with situations .any advice on this plz would be gratefully recieved.xxx