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Funnies for a Friday - idiot sightings:

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 11 Jun 2010 11:38

IDIOT SIGHTING #1

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's
take-out window and I gave the
girl a £5 note. Our total was £4.20, so I also handed
her a Twenty pence piece
She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said,'Yes I
know, but that way you can just give me a pound back.'
She was puzzled and went to get the manager who asked
me to repeat my request. I did
so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said
'We're sorry but they could not
do that kind of thing.' The girl then proceeded to
give me back 80 pence in change!
Do not confuse the staff at MacD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING #2

We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR
repairman told us that one
of our problems was that we did not have a 'large'
enough motor on the opener.I thought for a minute, and
said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that
time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said,
'Madam, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that
1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said,'NOOO, it's not.
Four is larger than two...'
We haven't used Garador repair since. Happened in
Moor Park ,Nr Watford UK


IDIOT SIGHTING #3

I live in a semi ru ral area. We recently had a new
neighbour call the local town council office to
request the removal of the "DEER CROSSING" sign on our
road. She said the reason was : 'Too many deer are
being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a
good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
Story from Potters Bar , Herts , UK

IDIOT SIGHTING #4

My daughter went to a local Kentucky
Fried and ordered a taco. She asked the person
behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he
was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From South Oxhey Herts , UK...

IDIOT SIGHTING #5

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an
Irish airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge? To which I replied, 'If it was without my
knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and
nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened Luton Airport ... UK

IDIOT SIGHTING #6

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to
cross the street. I was crossing with an
intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked
if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it
signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind
people doing driving?!'
She is a Local County Counciller employee in Harrow
,Middlesex , UK

IDIOT SIGHTING #7

When my husband and I arrived at Our Local Ford
dealer to pick up our car,
we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went
to the service department
and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
drivers side door. As I
watched from the passenger side, I instinctively
tried the door handle and
discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced
to the Fitter/Mechanic, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know. I have already done that side.'
This was at Ford dealership in St
Albans,Hertfordshire UK.

IDIOT SIGHTING #8


A coach party were out for the day, stopped of at a
refreshment halt in Hertforshire and queued up for tea
and coffee. One group asked for "Six decaffinated
please".to which the girl replied: " Sorry, we only
do coffee!" .




Georgygirl

Georgygirl Report 11 Jun 2010 19:00

Oh Maggie-i know where you are coming from.
Went into a local store, asked for a dozen 1st class stamps,
Sorry we only do them in 12's or 6's said the assistant, which ones do you you want?
Atfer purchasing 12 stamps( which i exlained was a dozen)
i came out out of shop, collapsed with laughter on the pavement,( funny looks from passers by)
Would have understood if assistant was a teenager and and not understood "old expressions" but this was a lady in her late 50's who must have been familiar with old terms.
It still tickles me now when i think of it.............

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 11 Jun 2010 19:07

LOL you orter know better .............
every one knows that its bread that comes in dozens.......and there used to be thirteen then.........


some orse race prizes are in guineas.........

quick now,

no pen n paper,

how much IS a 1000 guineas?

Jean (Monmouth)

Jean (Monmouth) Report 11 Jun 2010 19:11

Bob, how about a dozen eggs?

Jean (Monmouth)

Jean (Monmouth) Report 11 Jun 2010 19:13

I used to have the exact money ready when I went pay anything, and would say something, One for £1.50 makes 2 for £3. I have to do it on computer!, they say, or How do you know! Given up now.

Florence61

Florence61 Report 11 Jun 2010 20:06

when we travelled from scotland to south of england for a holiday, i had to go to the bank to change the scottish notes to english ones. i asked the cashier to change them please and she said i will just go and check the foreign exchange rate. gobsmacked as i was, i said but scotland isnt foreign its partof the uk and she said but its still another country. after she referred it to somebody, she duly changed the notes without charge and said sorry didnt realise scotland was part of england!!!!!

Joanne in Burgess Hill™

Joanne in Burgess Hill™ Report 11 Jun 2010 20:40

Whenever OH and I go to McDonalds we have a box of chicken nuggets each.
The conversation is always the same.......
Me: 12 chicken nuggets please
McD: sorry, they only come in 6's or 9's
Me: oh dear, I'd better have 2 boxes of 6 then!!

I have only ever had one assistant not query my order.

Georgygirl

Georgygirl Report 11 Jun 2010 21:20

Err-hang on Bob-a quinea is £1-1 shilling so........thats a thousand shillings is that £50? is that right? £1050 (((Off to find calculater)))

Annina

Annina Report 11 Jun 2010 21:47

This is what I experienced in my local post office last week.

Had a parcel about twice the size of a shoe box containing 5 summer tops,and two emergency bottles of Hendersons Relish for daughter in Norfolk.

Waitet in queue for ages as only one counter open,went to the only post and put my parcel on the scales.

The manageress loomed from out of her office and told me to put it on the other identical scales at the other end,

She huffed and ordered me to pass said parcel through the secret window to be weighed elsewhere.

"First or second"she growled.

"Er second will do,there is no rush"

"Anything valuable"she demanded

"Only to my daughter" (she can't live without her Hendersons)

"Where is the postcode?" she accused.

"Sorry,I don't know it,I hoped you would"

"Well it will have to be first class then"

"Ok, sorry"

She then keyed a few things into her keyboard and came up with the proper code.

"The system dosn't recognise this address" she said, with glee.

By this time she had my dandar properly UP.

" Well, I can assure you that it is there,I have visited,and had it on googlemaps."

"I don't care" she bellowed," THE SYSTEM DOSN'T RECOGNISE IT"

"Madam,just post the bloody parcel will you PLEASE "

The postage was nearly £8 pounds,I gave her a tenner,and she literally threw the change at me through the slidy drawer with such force that it slid through and scattered on the floor.

Needless to say,the parcel arrived at the non existent addy the next day.

Had I spoken to my customers in that way, I am sure I would have been given the sack.

Georgygirl

Georgygirl Report 11 Jun 2010 22:29

I'm sure you would Annina,but somehow its the norm nowdays, the mind boggles at some of the attitudes, if the computer says its right-what chance do we stand as mere mortals with brains and logic.
Must admit though, this thread has made me laugh, so glad i'm not the only one who has come across "Idiots Inc"
whats even funnier is that they think they are so clever. if only they knew we have had a good laugh at their expense.!!!


Jean (Monmouth)

Jean (Monmouth) Report 12 Jun 2010 19:48

Makes you wonder why children go to school till they are 18 these days. What are they learning. My father was cleverer than that lot when he left school at eleven.