General Chat

Dad;s bithday was 14 june mine 16th our day was the 15th, Then there was fathers day which I made much of when he was here then there was step mums b/day 2 weeks later which I did,

Then dad died, A long long time ago *grow up girl* " It was 4 years ago, so the 11 of this month will be hard also.

Please bear with me .

Thankyou

I'll think of you going through this hard time, Uzzi. There is no time limit on grieving. I lost my dad nearly 4 years ago and I still miss him. Honour his memory by being the best person you can be and know that he would be bursting with pride.

Sue xx

Sue thankyou
I know I shoud be 'getting over' it's 4 yrs now . I am getting over I talk to him .]] Yea I know strange .

4 years is nothing Uzzi, in 14 years or 40 you will still remember him with love and miss him, be gentle with yourself.

Rose xx

PS as you added , I talk to mum too...11 years on...and even if i can't actually 'hear her', I know precisely what she would be saying if she were here!

xx

Why should you be getting over it? We never expect to lose our parents. It's a left-over from when we were children and expected them to always be there. Don't be so tough on yourself and allow yourself to grieve.

Sue xx

I'm thinking of you Uzzi . The grief doesn't really go away , we just learn to cope with it most of the time . I lost my Dad in 04 and Mum in 06 . I get on with life but every now and again the stab of pain comes back anew .
I'm sure it will be that way always , ours worlds change when they leave us .......but life and the love goes on . xx

Thankyou everybody , This is the year I have to let go, my idea not theirs But it's bloody hard . this is the 1st yr I forgot my birthday cos it was too close to Dad, but I phoned step mam that day and on fathers day and her birthday a week later.

So we get through June

and next month I will get through his death,

UZZI
You are experiencing what most people will consider to be notmall grief, so do not worry accept o=it because you love, not loved yoy parents and those close to you,

Remember they are only in the "room next to you two you" so how could or would you want to forget. Moving on is the right thing to do because they know you care, forgetting or pushing emotions away is not so good....
You sound such a caring person and you do not need to change acceptance does not mean forgetting.

I will think about you in my Quiet Time each day. God bless
Bridget
PS I still have the odd tears for my grandmother and my parents and I am 64

Hi Uzzi,

Please don't feel that you HAVE to "get over it". Loss is a very personal thing and no one should be telling you what you should or should not be feeling.

Everything takes time and I don't think that you get used to it, it's more that you get used to a difefrent kind of life if that makes sense.

I've found it helps to try and reemember the good things and times, maybe try and replicate a small thing, ie if your Dad liked to go walking, maybe on his anniversary you go on a special walk and have that time to yourself. I know my brother loved a particular trumpet player so on his anniversary I light a nice candle, and play some of his music...not that he is ever far from my mind, but it helps ease the loss a liitle.

All the best Uzzi, I hope you have some comfort at this time

Uzzi, you tell whoever said you have to let go, to go jump, it's up to you when you start to let go and it's not something you do on a certain day, it happens gradually, you loosen the tight strings that hurt so much and they gradually loosen more until you don't think of that person you lost, every day, but when memories come they don't cut so deep or hurt so much, they bring solace as well as pain. The love you shared with your Dad will never leave you.
You were very lucky to have shared such a bond with your Dad and he will always be in your heart, guiding you and helping you along the road of life.

Lizx

I lost my dad 33 years ago and I will never forget him - time heals is true You have your memories to keep your dad alive in your heart. I find that talking about the ones you have lost helps.
((((((((((HUGS)))))))
love Mary xx