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Sarraby, my dad has been gone since 1970, and I still feel I want to tell him things, then I realise he already knows
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sorry got name wrong sheila
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hello JOY I am seventy one lost my dad when I was 17 1958 the pain does go but you will feel sad for a long time try and
think of things that he did that made you happy I did and I would
cry but had the happy memory firmly in my memory and it gave
me comfort .Do a scrapbook on him and just remember all the good times.Still think about my dad you never forget them.The love is always in your heart good luck sheila.
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Sarabby, There is no age restriction on grief
Love.
You will grieve for a while, and then your lovely dad will be a bunch of beautiful memories. They will make you laugh, cry, and just smile...but you will never ever forget.
I lost my mother in the same sort of circumstances when I was 43, and things were so bad for my poor mother that I was GLAD to see her go.
It took a while for me to even cry, and when I did , I could not stop.
I still have memories jumping in and out of my head now... 27 years later.
Be good to yourself Sarabby....
Deanna XX
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Sarabby
My sympathy at your sad loss of your Dad. It is completely natural to have feelings of guilt and such and wanting your loved one back, no matter that they are now out of pain and suffering and at peace, we are selfish in our grief and that never changes, I think everyone is the same.
I saw my Dad suffer through 1989 and early 1990 with lung cancer, it had been undiscovered by the doctors for well over a year and he was 79, there was nothing the hospital could do to stop the cancer, only relieve his pain as much as possible. To see my Dad lose his dignity when under the influence of morphine and such, was so sad. He had always been a proud, upright military man. Now he was a fragile person who didn't seem like my Dad anymore. Yet when he died I felt dreadful, and realised it was the start of our family chain being snapped. We hadn't always seen eye to eye and he wasn't a man to show his feelings or speak his thoughts, but near the end, he told my Mum that he loved us all (I have two brothers) and I know from photos of him with me as a baby and toddler he loved me when I was little, he just got too busy with work and the garden and being traditionally brought up to think boys did gardens, girls did housework so we didn't spend so much time together when my brothers were born.
When my Mum died 5 years later I was 48, and an orphan! That was the first thought that struck me - I was an orphan! I didn't have a husband, altho I have a son, and my brothers and I aren't close. They both married women who stuck to their families and didn't encourage a closeness that I hoped would happen, having always yearned for a sister.
Losing close loved ones is always a traumatic time and we will find things coming to mind, that we didn't do or say in time or the way maybe we could have. One day I believe we will all meet again and there will be no grudges that we weren't there at the end, or didn't get a chance to say goodbye. It feeels huge to us at the time and we beat ourselves up for not getting everything right and being perfect, but honestly, time eases the pain and those feelings of regret or guilt.
Just treat yourself kindly and remember good times, laugh and cry and don't try to be brave or stoical, talk about your Dad with the family and friends, and take your time till you adjust to life being different.
Will be thinking of you and all those who have lost loved ones. There is never a pain like it and no one reacts in the same way, just be yourself and be glad you loved and were loved
Lizx
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Sorry to hear about your dad,
I can only say what others have said,
Take each day as it comes,
Speak about him, think about him, cry,
You have memories of him, that will never go.
Love
Liz
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Sending you lots of (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
I know it wont help but am thinking of you, My mum passed 18mts ago and still want her to give me hugs i still miss her as the day she went.
My dad went 21yrs ago at the end of this mouth and still miss him.
I think we all go back to when we are lttle when we lose someone so close like that. I know i have days like that. I just want my mum back,but dont want her to be in the pain she was in.
So take it day by day. He is with you. And i am sure he would have told you to go and enjoy yourself.
Take care
Hazelx
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Sarabby please don't feel you should be getting over this sad event, and i'm certain your wonderful dad did not begrudge you having some time away when it was his birthday, my nan passed away 4 years ago and everyday that passes i have a thought about her and realise how much i still miss her, but i also remember the wonderful moments and memories we shared together.
It's a cliche i know but time will help you to adjust to this status change, and knowing he will be in your heart forever will ease the pain as time goes on.
You are in my prayers. x x
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Haven't posted on here for a long time, but need to share with someone other than family, that might understand how Im' feeling.
My wonderful dad passed away 8 days ago, after a very long illnes that he fought so bravely, and uncomplaining. Even though I know he is at peace now and no longer suffering, I just want him back with us. He went so quickly at the end, and I wasn't able to say goodbye to him. It was also his birthday 2 weeks before he passed, and for the first time in many years I wasn't with him as I went away with friends for a few days. I can't forgive myself for
that..
i 'm a 53 year old woman for Gods sake, with adult children a nd a grandchild, yet I just feel like a little girl who needs her dad. How do you get past these feelngs
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