General Chat

My neice got married on the 17th July ...no I didn't know until the last few days.
But nor does her Gran.

Do I tell my Mum that her only granddaughter married and not only didn't invite her but didn't tell her ,but did invite her step family ie my step mum and step sisters.

Or do I keep quiet and allow Mum to believe that granddaughter will get in touch one day.

If I keep quiet how will I explain the change of name?

Well, I see this as your niece's issue. It's down to her to deal with it in her own way - whatever way that is.

Just keep shtum about it. You can always act innocent when the truth comes out ...

Jill

Jill I thought that, but if Mum fronts me asking if I knew I couldn't lie.

Also I hate the thought that Mum is really hoping that her granddaughter will get in touch .....I have tried to ask g/d and it hasn't happened so I doubt it will now.

Also I feel that after my wedding 7yrs ago when I had Mum, Dad and step Mum and it all went well, she could have at least invited her Gran or told her even if there wasn't an invte.

I'm gutted enough to know that my step sisters and step Mum went but I understand why I couldn't have been invited ..hows my Mum going to feel.

Edit to say I was gutted not to have been told I found out from FB. but I understand the reason for me not being there.

I get the feeling that your niece is not really a caring type?

Or is she very young?

I still feel that it would be hard on your mum and why put yourself through this? If there's going to be flak and fallout it needs to be in your niece's direction, not yours.

Jill

My grandneice is getting married, but as her mother fell out with her brother years ago, I dont think the girl will be inviting her uncle, But I am invited,so is OH but he wont go, wild horses wouldnt drive him to a function where he would have to be TIDY!.

Jill my neice is in her 30's the flak is me and my sis fell out ..that I understand although until a week before the wedding she was on my FB

Sis and Mum well sis phones her when she wants money. so sis has always diss Mum to her kids because gramps paid up. Gramps is dead now but neice was brought up on step family.

Why put me thro' it ? Because I'm going to find it hard when Mum says next time .oh well when ****marries and leaves home she will be in touch. I've kept the left home silent for years.

Jean I wouldn't have gone because of the bad feeling between me and sis, although I would have been polite enough to say continents apart I couldn't have made it.
I didn't get that chance.

Poor Mum has been left out totally.

say nowt i would

i know how upset my mam would of been if her only grandaughter didnt tell her,
shed of been inconsolable,
dont put your mam thru that, let her carry on in ignorance of it,

xxx

Julie Ann and Jill I will leave her in ignorance for awhile, but it goes against the grain. If she finds out she'll never forgive me either and that will hurt her more. But if she asks after her I will eventually have to tell ..at least I can honestly say I didn't know until well after the event.

Mum will be devastated but what can ya do ?

im sure your mam wont turn against you,
she will know why you never told her,

i maybe wrong, but do you think you mam may have sneaky suspision,
watch shes not dropping suttle hints when she mentions about grandaughter leaving home,

i know mine always had the knack of sussing things out,
couldnt keep anything from her if id tried, :-)

your neice dont deserve a nanna like she got,
and your mam deserves a better grandaughter

Julie Ann I assure you my Mum has absolutely no idea about her granddaughter, even though I do try to keep her in touch.

One thing you do have right is my neice don't deserve her.

Hello!

Families!!!!!!. My niece did exactly the same thing. Even my brother was not invited to her wedding.Her own dad.Her mums new husband walked my niece down the aisle.We all knew we were not being invited.That was 15 years ago,she must of relized she needed her dad after she had her children so started speaking to him. Still dont talk to none of us and we dont know why as her sister is always with us.My mum and dad would like to know what nastys her mother fed her.The mothers new husband walked out 2 years ago and remarried lol. Cant be bothered with her crap. Annie

I would have to tell her,but just say you had recently found out,
and wait for any questions she might ask you,
that way your not hiding anything,
I'm sure you will feel better about her knowing,
although it's so unfair,what families do,
they don't seem to care what upset it causes.

Hope things work out,whatever you decide to do.

Trish
xx

Well ..

Hello Rach

Grannie for me I don't care ...am a bit p**d off that I was blocked from her FB account so I wouldn't know mind and really can't understand why I couldn't be told. also annoyed that step mum went and never told me about it.
Still that's families.

Shelley .....I can't give her flowers etc as Mum lives on the IOW and me Spain,

Trish it is genuine that I have only just found out


anyway the more I thought about it, the more I knew I would tell.

Mum phoned me today big news from her as she has decided to put her house up on the market and go into sheltered housing. Something that I have been steering her on for awhile now. (apart from moving to Spain which is fraught with problems)

Anyway Mum phoned me with her news, she has found a place in Bembridge where she lives and seems happy with it. She is a tad annoyed at me that I have said I can't even think of visiting to help her pack until after October and my move. (I daren't tell her I don't have a valid passport)
well it seemed a good idea to drop the news in about neice.

It didn't go down well at all, Mum asked if I knew I told her no only just found out ....Then Mum asked if step mum knew ...errrr yes apparently
did she go .....errrr I don't know I haven't spoken to her

That was my mistake ... see what a crap liar I am.

The result was Mum more or less putting the phone down on me so she could go off and have a cry.

I feel a right bitch. I should have planned my conversation better but I wasn't expecting Mum to phone so she threw me.

No Uzzi- you'r not a bitch you hav'nt created this problem, uncaring niece has, maybe mum will get back to you when she has calmed down, if she does tell her the truth, cos you dont seem to be a good liar anyway, if you tell "porkies " Mum will be upset about that as well.
best of luck
Jean

Ha ha when I caught myself sniffing my armpits I thought that's a move away from what my dogs do ..thankfully the fat gets in the way !

Back to being a bitch, Jean I really should have kept mouth shut until I had worked it out and it wasn't fair to rain on her parade either, but once decision taken sooner over sooner sorted.

yes she'll forgive me for it. No choice really but she was so pleased about making a decision that I have been trying to get her to do for ages. I should have just been pleased for her flags out celebrate stuff, rather than drop the bomb on her.
Still it is done and next time we can talk of moving and the fun she will have there, so better now than cloud her actual move.

You sound the same as me, i rehearse over and over again what i'm going say, but catch me offguard and out it all comes, usually in the wrong order and i'm spluttering all over the place.
Yes it's done now, cant change it, best play it down and move on to moving and what her plans are, much more interesting................

PS
Stop sniffing your armpits- its not nice- lol
Jean