General Chat

Hi Pauline,

I have a darling little girl whose arrival was to say least not wanted by her father...so I have tried to do everything possible to make sure she has lots of interaction with her (much older) cousins etc and my parents who are elderly.....every bit of love counts in my opinion, how lovely your grandpa was there for you...and I am sure someway, somehow he knows how much he meant to you...(no doubt you gave him an emormous amount of pleasure also - don't forget that!)

Oh Pauline,it is horrible isn't it? I will bring up the narcissism thread in case it is any help to you.

My grandmother was the same,my father's mother.She was a decent,kind,;ovely woman who died when I was six and that was just about the end of my childhood.

Having been brought up by her,I think my dad just didn't know how to handle the situation when he realized what a nutter he had married,and you didn't easily leave a bad marriage sixty years ago.

I am so grateful for those six years and wish there had been many,many more.

I do feel for you Pauline if your Dad wasn't affectionate towards you, how lovely that your dear Grandad stepped up to the mark and did the job so well. I am sure he knew how much he meant to you and still does, and I am sure he gained great satisfaction and a warm fuzzy feeling just being kind and loving towards you. It was obviously his nature to be that way, my Dad was the same with my son, he adored him and I know the closeness helped him when he was low and suffering with lung cancer. Sadly he died when my lad was just 7 but I am sure my son benefitted from the love and kindness Dad showed, my son's own father lives abroad and they haven't spent a lot of time together, thanks to the woman he married when my son was 9 and who stopped the father continuing contact.
Yet my father wasn't able to show his love for me and my brothers in an obvious way. I got yelled at more than cuddled especially once I got a brother as they did man things together and I was pushed aside to help Mum in the house while my bro did the gardening and such. However, when I was ill with pneumonia at the age of 3 or 4 Dad sat with me at night as I had to have a bed downstairs where there was a fire kept in all night (no central heating then) and also when I developed some sort of allergy and kept getting painful blisters on my hands and feet, Dad went all over the place on his bike to get Fuller's Earth Cream and other things to try and ease the itching and pain He used to love any kids visiting the house and would talk gently to them, and treat them kindly.

I never knew my grandfathers, one died a long time before I was born and my Mum's Dad died the April before I was born in July 1947.

Your Grandad will always be with you, still loving you and watching over you, and one day you will be together again. Let the tears come but try and think of happy memories too that will bring a smile.

Lizx

Pauline

That is loveley and no doubt you treausure the times . As Grandparents we love our 3 grandchildren, the problem we dont see them very often as at the moment they live in Qatar, but they are over here on holiday and have been to see us this week for the first time in over a year.

What a change we see in them, i just hope they have the same feelings towards us in their later lives as you have for your Grandfather, and remember us as you do your Grandfather

George

Children are not expected to know how much grandparents love them, it is really only as you grow older that you see the care and love that some give, unfortunately, not all do. We all sit and weep when we think of those gone at some point in our lives.Just take it that its natural and move on.

Thinking of you.

Lxxx

There are times when I come here that I feel so emotional, when I read about the posts I've written especially concerning my grandfather Christopher, he loved me unlike my father who didn't want me because I was a girl.
I sit here crying because at least he wanted me, I would give anything to have him near, to be able to tell him how much I loved him too, his gentleness, tenderness towards me is now so so apparent, as a child I just thought "he's my grand dad" but now I understand the depth of his love for me when my own father turned me away.