General Chat

This is so important!!!!!!!
We have made one with very little in it at the moment, but we can add to it.

So many problems arrise because people don't right one, as we are finding out at the moment.

Phone your solicitor and ask advice, or ask citizens advice. The home ones are always very good either so get advice on those!!!


jude

When OH and myself retired 4years ago we went
to our solicitor and made out our wills and while we
were at it we paid and made arrangements for our
funerals so our children will have very little to do,
grieving is enough to handle at this time we think.

Emmax

Emma....we have'nt done that but l will, although the kids know what l want re my funeral!!

jude x

Jude,

I echo what you are saying. ( I hope you haven't had the unhappy experience of someone not leaving a will recently, with all the extra work of sorting out an estate.)

A lot of people say they are too young, or have nothing to leave, or everything will go to the wife or husband. Whatever the excuse, it leaves the loved ones with a huge task.

We all have something to leave, even if it is only a few pounds in a savings account, or even the current account.

When our son died quite young we spent many weeks sorting everything out. He didn't have a wife or children, and lived in rented accomodation but it still took time to get probate. It has been six years and only a month or two ago the final payout of some shares finally came through.

If you don't have one, sort it out NOW. Our 'twin' wills were not expensive, but we had them drawn up by a solicitor to make sure they were ok.

Hugs to Jude,
Elisabeth xxx

PS The homemade wills can be ok, but it only needs a small mistake, or the witness signatures not being complete, and it will not be valid.

I am glad you have put this up Jude.My best friend died some years ago after her husband left her.She had 2 children in their teens.She had written a will but had not signed it!!!!! when she died. Her ex got the house and everything.So her 2 kids basically had no home.It was a dreadful time for them.Too much to go into ,but all because there was no will.
IT IS SO IMPORTANT TO MAKE ONE.

It IS so important to make a Will.

Everyone has something, and that something has to be sorted out, even if it's a bank a/c with a pound in it, or a car.
It can take years to sort out an estate. In fact, it can take long enough to sort out when someone HAS left a will, let alone when they haven't.

In this day and age, when there are so many second marriages, where there might be children from previous marriages and the current marriage, it is more important than ever to get our affairs in order - to be sure our wishes and belongings will go in the right direction after we have died.

Inheritance law is not always as straight forward as we think....watch a few episodes of Heir Hunters.

l've wanted to put this up for ages and ages (months infact), l have watched the programme on BBC 1 in the morning about Heirs (its not on at the moment), and it just beggers belief how things can turn against a widow or widower or?? after someone has died.
l'm sure some people have their reasons for not writting one, but PLEASE think about who you are leaving to sort the mess.

Some people don't have time to mourn their loved ones let alone deal with all this.
Even the time given to arrange a funeral, it all happens way to fast, no time to think where, when, how etc!!!!!

Arrange everything you can before where possible!!!!

Elisabeth....so sorry this has taken all this time, its not right is it??
Everyone else that has had to deal with a difficult time relating to wills etc, l am so sorry.

jude xx

Not only the Will Jude,,,,,,but update if you have one at least every two years with codicils ,you'd be suprised how things alter within a household in a few years,,,,,things get bought, things go,,,,so updates are essential.....

Guardianship of children is sometimes ignored but bear in mind that if both parents died together what provision re guardians is required? Also sometimes whole familes can be wiped out together - who would you wish your assets to go to in this case?

Also for those of more mature years when making out a will do not forget that now is perhaps a good time to look at nominating someone to look after your financial affairs when and if you are no longer able to do so. (forgotten the title - old age!)

if you wsh to be cremated or buried - state this. Know a family where everyone knew the deceased wished to be cremated but his ex-wife forced the children to arrange burial.

Chris, are you thinking of Power of Attorney?
Guardianship of children, especially little ones, should be considered, yes, very important to state what you want or the courts could get involved and who knows what could happen!
K

That's it Karen - knew it began with a 'P'!!!!!!!!!!

When our children were young the question of guardianship didn't occur to us until a friend brought it up. They were both only children so no uncles and aunts, and they did name guardians for their children, so the state didn't take over if they both died together.

We quickly rectified the oversight and though we never expected to be wiped out together, you never know when that rogue drunk driver can wreck your life in just a moment, or some other tragedy.

Worth thinking about for anyone with young children.

So much to think about!!

Had'nt thought of the fact that thingscould/will change every few years or so.

jude x

I know it is legal but think on would you want to buy a house with a couple of graves in it? Cremation and scattering of ases might be a compromise. The children may say they have no objections but even if you leave instructions in a will, the executors are not bound legally to carry them out.

This has brought a smile to my face as a relative wanted to be cremated, and her ashes scattered where her numerous 'beloved cats' had been buried over the years, at the bottom of the garden.

She left the house to one relative, who promptly sold it. The new owners divided off the long garden, put in a driveway and built three houses on the plot. Poor Auntie and her 'beloved cats' are now either carted away or under several feet of foundations!

Not even interred remains are safe in churchyards. Several have been 're-sited' due to church halls/extensions and carparks. Well I am OK my ashes are going to the Chicken Rocks, Isle of Man!!!! One one can dig me up or cement over me there!

For anyone wanting help re inheritence tx go to this website

www.MoneySavingsExpert.com

its Martin Lewis's site from the BBC, he's very good:o))

Joan....mmm abit of a dilema....are you wanting to be buried or cremated??

Could the children use the cottage as a holiday home??

If your garden is big surely there is no reason why you can't have a section for your buriel ground and then have it railed off with a headstone. l thinks thats a lovely idea:o)) People have done it before have'nt they??

jude

Even if you have already made a will you should review it every so often so as the info and bequests are up to date.
We made reciprocal wills many moons ago when our daughter had our grandson who is now 30.what was relevant then has moved on as we have a grandaughter too (although any further children our daughter had was covered in the 1st will) Our grandson is now married and our daughter divorced her hubby many years ago and is married again. We took stock of the wills about 4 years ago & made new ones to bring them up to date. The wills cost £80 each as they are simple reciprocal wills again but at least daughters present surname is there and her address,

Joan.....l can't bare the thought of being left in a coffin. Mine will be a cremation in a cardboard box!!!.... to me its also the expense, its all so unneccessary.
l do hope your wishes are kept:o)

Shirley.....l really need to sort a few more things out then get back to solicitors.

jude

We had our wills updated and have now also appointed powers of attorney. Things do change and it's important for us to know that whatever we have will go to the people we nominate in our will i.e. our children and grandchildren. We have detailed our wishes regarding our funerals.

People should always remember that an accident or illness doesn't always kill you. You can be left totally incapacitated physically or mentally. Dementia is another problem that can leave you helpless. Trusted family members need to be able to look after you should you not be able to do that yourself.

Don't think that your lovely family who get on so well together at family occasions won't fight over what you have. I've seen the closest of families fall apart over who gets grandma's china.

S x