General Chat

Ever since I have had a car, it has always been agreed between myself and OH that it is mine and mine alone. I chose it, buy it, tax and insure it etc (although he does the maintenance lol).

Today we popped into a car dealers and I asked the salesman if he could give me some figures as I was thinking of changing my car.

So, why oh why did he spend the whole time talking to OH about the finance deal, the type of car, size engine etc? I had already told him it was my choice and I would be paying for it and OH kept in the background the whole time.

Whinge over.

Its a man thing, I reckon........

Bob

Oooh - don't start me on that Bob.

I'm angry enough as it is

:-)))

Simple answer - sexism?

It certainly seems like it SRS.

Needless to say I won't buy a car from him.

Hi Ice

I would prefer to laugh rather than cry.

I'm laughing all the way to the bank because I'm keeping my money and he won't see a penny of it.

You haven't been into the same place as me in Huddersfield have you?!
I am absolutely invisible when I go into the showroom, but I put that down to the fact no-one was with me. I didn't realise it happens with a couple.
I wanted a price for my car and was asked the usual details including landline, mobile and email. I decided to decline giving my email address, when the guy said I had to give it. I still refused. He argued, and I then said, well I haven't got an email.He then said he would have to see the Manager......and he did! I have gone on to buy a car from the dealership but I refused to have any dealings with the same salesman. I would have liked to have told them what to do with the car but I have now got a new car and I like it.
You have my sympathy and it will get worse before better. You have been warned.JLe

Hi Beverley,
If that had been me, I would have pulled him up about it, and told him that it is you buying the car, and not OH!

Janet - no, not Huddersfield but it obviously happens a lot.

The best service I had when buying a car was from a saleswoman. She actually sent my OH away when I went to collect it so I could ask any questions I wanted to without him butting in.

I would never go to a car dealers on my own because I know I would be cheated. When asked for an email address I give a secondary address I use for websites that are probably going to bombard with me junk. Funnily enough, that has my OH name instead of mine.

Jan - I was on the verge of walking out (after giving him a piece of my mind) when he changed tack. Maybe he realised what he was doing and though better of it. It was too late by then.

A few years ago I went into a well know bedroom fitting shop and asked about having some fitted units. They said they would have to come and measure, took my details and then asked if there was a Mr at home. I asked why that mattered and they said it was company policy. Our son who was about 20 was with me, said "Yes there is a Mr at home, but I think your company policy stinks". Why do woman have to have the backing of a man before making a decision. They rang the next week and asked if we wished a salesman to come round - you can imagine the answer.
Liz

Some 20 years ago we had a volvo (I loved the heated seats) and we needed a new electric wing mirror. OH asked me to have a look at cars one year and under and get a rough price for ours. Fine found 2 Volvos 6 months old enquired of the history from female sales - then asked for a rough guideline price on ours. She went to Sales Manager who said car would have to come in to be checked over - I pointed out to her that it was outside the showroom window and as the car had been bought new from them and serviced they knew the history of car better than me.

I got nowhere. I came home furious and complained to OH it was sexist. He would not have it. Following Saturday off we went - unfortunately on the way there we passed a BMW showroom and he had a test drive. I did not like it, seats were hard (no heating) and it was not a hatchback. Finally got to the Volvo dealer. Asked for Sales Manager - not in. OH looked at the cars I had, asked for a tradein price and GOT IT. I asked that the Sales Manager ring me which he did on the Monday and I told him in no uncertain terms that only had he lost a sale but I was going to be stuck with a BMW and he could ring the dealedrship and check as OH had ordered a brand new car. It appears that nothing has changed.

Always when it comes to the financial side my OH always says to the salesman - now you have to deal with my financial director! I haggle

A bit different approach on my behalf about car dealers.
I choose exactly what car I want, won't accept any suggestions they make to hubby, what I want is what I get.
But as we have a joint bank account I am quite happy for him to sort out the finances,( he's a financial accountant )and discuss what is under the bonnet if they so wish, if I want it I have it ,they can talk to their hearts content...of course hubby knows this so he just gets the best deal.
What really pi**es me off ,is when I go back to the dealer if there is something wrong ( I know my car, how it sounds when it is fine, how it drives when it is fine) and instantly know if there is something wrong, but as a woman get treated as if I know nothing ! and they are so condescending.
It's over 3 yr old now and I go to my local garage, they don't sell cars, and I have to say they are great to deal with.

My late OH owned a string of motor dealerships.

His views will be unwelcome, but they were "sell the car to the man, and get the little lady on-side by letting her choose the colour"

Sue x

I don't drive, but when we were young and I was 7 stone, my ex had a Morris Minor van.
Every year we would strip the engine and gear box.
The engine got changed every 2 years - the gear box - as & when, (this was by us!) so I was quite 'au fait' with the workings of the vehicle.
The van was on it's last legs,(ie 3 engine changes!!) and we decided to buy another second hand Morris.
We went to local car auctions, just to see what was available and the price, but went around seperately.
This was in the late 1970's. Well - talk about not being visible!
I'd ask sellers about their cars - ask them to open the bonnet - and they'd look right over my head - what would a young girl know about cars?

I had a cunning plan. I'd pick on particular cars, where I knew they held a secret not known to many - even the sellers sometimes!

If someone had ignored me, I'd hang around until they opened the bonnet (for a man obviously) then I'd find the secret starter button, press it - and watch the look of surprise on their - and the other punters' faces as the car started!!!

If the seller didn't know about the button, I'd be asked how I'd done it, then go on to comment on the state of the engine.
If the seller knew about the button, more often than not - they'd ask me how I knew about it.
I'd feign surprise and say that, for a female it's magic - gosh how should I know about engines?!
Then go on to say that, as they wouldn't open the bonnet for me, chances are they wouldn't let me turn the ignition key. If I was going to buy their clapped out piece of junk - I wanted to know If it started, and what the engine sounded like.

It became a good game, ex used to stand and watch, creased up laughing.

Wouldn't have bought a car off him then Sue.lol

Sandie.xx

Nite~~

I didn't Sandie - but then again I don't drive!

He was an excellent chauffeur, it has to be said
Sue x

I love all you tales of cars and being invisible, especially Maggie's tale of changing engines etc.

Back in the dark ages, I was the one with the car. My then boyfriend, now OH, had a motorbike. The poor car was not in the 'best of condition' but got us around when we needed weatherproof transport. We, or often I, spent most weekends keeping it going. Lifting the engine out, me fitting a new wiper motor when the old one gave up, and the joy of fitting a windscreen washer. It was a little button push affair, fitted under the dashboard as an extra.

Often I could be seen on the ground, delving under the engine with a spanner, giving the starter motor a tweek. You don't see that happening these days! I kept that poor old car going for so long, with sheets of aluminium, pop rivets, tub of filler, and a few layers of paint. (I had to promise to take it off the road when it finally died.)

We don't have to do all that these days, and manage to keep two quite good cars, though I do find our local dealership don't seem to understand that I do know what they are talking about, when it is in for service.

Now ..... builders merchants, that is another subject! Women really are invisible there. Well one particular sales person on the counter...... I couldn't really know what tool, or size or type of pipe connector I wanted.

Happy days to all.
Elisabeth x

Thanks for all your stories ladies. At least I'm not the only one.

Elisabeth - builders merchants are the worst, I find. I work for a builders and often have to phone builders merchants for prices or to order something. I can guarantee that every time I phone to ask for a price, they will ask me something I have no chance of knowing or (more likely) is not necessary to know. I am then made to look stupid because I have to ask someone (a man) 'what size grommet does it have' when, of course, grommets are nothing to do with it.

Grrrr,

Just wish I had the mechanical know-how with cars but I'm not basically interested - but the finance, that's mine!!

Beverley- Thank you for bringing such an interesting chat to the boards. It has made me feel much better, not that its right that women are made to feel this way but now at least I know it isn't just me.JLe

Following on from my original subject, I have just seen an advert in a popular Sunday magazine for a F**t 500. Basically it was saying 'Sophie, what size engine? Don't mind? What colour? Pink? Sure? OK - here it is.'

I am very tempted to write to the company and say this doesn't help us (women's) when trying to buy a car.

What do you think?

Janet - no, it isn't you. I see these sorts of attitudes everywhere.