General Chat

which changed my life. I felt sorry for a woman I knew who was getting married at the age of 50 something as I knew she wouldn't have many people on her side of the church, so I attended her wedding. That's where I met up with o.h. who used to go out with a friend and neighbour in the late 1970s.
How I wish I could turn back the clock. Ironically, she and the man she married, my o.h.'s stepbrother, have been divorced for some time lol

Lizx

sorry your so unhappy liz if you wanna a chat pm me i will have some time free till 1pm xxxxx

Hello Liz... l am sorry, you don't deserve this.

Out for the day now, will look back later.
Take care
love jude xx

Purple, its a chance we all take when we get married. You never really know someone until you are married to them. Its just that some are lucky in the draw, others unfortunately are not. Sorry you had to be one of them.

Liz, I owe you a PM!

((((hugs)))) for now

Rose xxx

Liz
Your posts often reflect your unhappiness.
You're young enough to change your life again....for the better, but only you can decide the right move and when.

Don't have an unhappy life. Things could be so much better for you.
Take care of you.

Gwyn

Liz,

I read your post with sadness and didn't know how to reply.

But Gwyn has said it all.

You don't have young children together to be concerned about, don't live an unhappy life, as your heading reads ' you made a decision which changed your life' you're young and strong enough to make another and change things again.

Do what you feel is best, but don't live the rest of your life unhappy hun.

Take care
Sandie.x

Liz - I am the same as Sandie - do not really know what to say only you can change your life. Sending you (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))
Love Mary xx

Liz, I am, like all the others on this thread, very sorry to read of the position you find yourself in. But, and please, nobody bite my head off for saying this, there is only yourself can make a choice to alter your circumstances, no matter how well meaning everyone is with their support.
You have said in the past that you have your own house, so why not, after making sure you have tied up things properley, eg. financial support, mortgage, pension etc., move back into this house, and have your own peace of mind, and get your life back.
Please Liz, and everyone else, do not think I am being harsh and uncaring, I have every sympathy for Liz and anyone else in this position. I know it is alright for me sitting here telling you what to do, but only yourself will know what to do for the best.
Thinking of you, and wishing you all the luck in the world to you
Julia in Derbyshire

Oh Liz I'm sorry you are feeling this way...If you need anyone to talk to you know where I am...And if you need any help just give me a call....

Please don't spend the rest of you life unhappy, you deserve so much more..As you know I have been there and got the t-shirt...Look at me now, nearly 44 and very happy....

Lots of love and hugs to you my friend.
Jules xxx

Liz...

I always read your threads and see what a wonderful helpful friendly person you are.


So please don`t be dragged down by what is going on behind closed doors, you only have one life....................., as others have urged please make moves to improve your situation.

I got out of a very unhappy marriage with a man that drank 19 years ago, my children were just 1 and 3 years old.

I have never looked back, i met my current partner 6 months later, and not a day goes by when I am so glad I made that break, my OH is a caring ,trustworthy honest man who i simply adore.

I didn`t deserve my unhappiness with my ex, the same as you don`t deserve whats happening with you......but only you can change that.


Nicky xxx
....

agrees with Julia
ITS TIME TO CHANGE THINGS
if your really not happy you could move out
nobody can force you to stay

Hi all, now you have me crying lol Thank you for the pms and caring words. I really shouldn't have put this post on, but did it in a low moment.

For those who don't know, I am not married to this man. I moved in out of necessity a few years ago, several years into the relationship when really I should have already got out of the relationship. My problem is mainly my ocd - I have a great counsellor but it's a slow journey trying to address the hoarding, starting to see why it happened but very hard to break the cycle and do anything, particularly with the constant tiredness of fm and cfs. My counsellor is angry that I have had so little help from the Mental Health people here, because they have no one who does the therapy for hoarding I get fobbed off all the time whereas if I was a handwasher or similar type of ocd it is better known and dealt with. At many of the groups I attended people had cpns or social workers who helped them in lots of ways but I was never offered that even tho those getting the help had supportive families around them and at the time I started asking for help I was on my own with a young teen son and an elderly sick parent to help care for. Until I can address the hoarding and clear out my house and stuff here as well I can't make a move - unless I win the lottery lol and more than a tenner, enough to finance somewhere else to live and someone to help me clear all my stuff. I would still have to get the heating fixed at the house, probably by applying for a grant but can't do anything while there is so much stuff in the house.
It's not a matter of Moving Out, just like that!

I am making slow efforts to change things, but being on a pension it's difficult to sort out, so have to do a little bit at a time and hope one day it will become easier.

At least here we have stopped the farce of 'anniversary' cards etc, I think he knows I am not happy here but go through the motions. Have had to support him a lot with his recent various ailments and he realises he would be in a mess without me to nudge him to take medication, see the doc, eat properly etc etc so at the mo we are stuck with each other.

This relationship has passed it's sell by date and had I been able to, I would have left a long time ago. Now I feel I am getting past my sell by date lol altho whether I would even want another relationship in the future is debateable. I would be very wary of getting involved with anyone else and at least I know what this person is like, altho it took time to really find out the truth, he put on a good front to start with and because I was vulnerable at the time, having just lost my Mum, I fell for it all!

There's a saying, Be careful what you wish for and I wasn't careful enough lol

take care, I will get there in the end, and when I do there will be a big celebration on here I can tell you!

love and thanks again
Lizxxx

purple apply to warm front for a heating grant
and social services will clear your house for you
due to your mental health issues
they would also provide accommodation in a hostel
till the work was done

so no need to stay where your not happy
as this will make you feel worse
theres an organization called my sisters place
they would also help you and give you suport

Liz

Just saw this .
Hope I havent made you feel worse the past few days with my sadness .
You told me things work out for a reason so YOU believe it !!!!

luv and hugs
Kathy xxxx

I do believe that what would help would be a few of close GR friends, who live nearby,going to PD's own home ( with her permission of course) with PD and helping sort it......When one has friends....One can do anything.

Correct me if I am wrong Liz, but I bet you know what the answer is, but things have gone so far that it is difficult to change things without help.

Kathy, don't be daft love, you help me by listening as well so no problem helping you out, I hope, these past few days. Only next time, text me first to warn me the phone will ring, nearly jumped out of my skin the other night lol I didn't know I could move so fast racing to the phone before it woke up Dozey lol
Good luck on Thursday, you know I will be thinking about you. Might have something interesting to tell you in our next call, and sorry no I haven't won the lottery or the premium bonds lol

Susan, thanks for pm, have replied, and yes you have hit the nail on the head. Things have become hard to manage but I am working on the help front and might have someone to give me a hand sometime soon.

If not I will have to borrow a caravan and park it in the carpark behind the house and get you round here lol Oh but I forgot, you probably have an aversion to caravans by now eh?

Thanks to all for the kindness and support and all the pms, I am ok, it was silly of me to post this thread but it just felt right at the time.
I will get there in the end, I am sure

Love
Lizxxx

Hi Shy,

thanks for that my friend. And it wasn't 'before you ask' lol, I asked on another thread the other day lol

Glad your Mum and Dad are doing well.

love
Lizxx


p.s. Jules, will give you a call sometime, thanks love.

Purple, to put a thread like yours on GR is a great compliment to the people who read it. You know we are listening and hoping things will change for you.

Thanks Jean, I tried to ring Citizens Advice Bureau this afternoon to make an apptmt with them. The local number has changed and it's now on a 5p a minute charge call and I couldn't get through to the dept I wanted even tho I listened to the list of options and pressed the right number. I think it is wrong to be on an expensive call number system.
I can't have good conversations on my mobile here as the signal is so bad and you end up getting cut off or only hearing half the words, and if I call from the landline, o.h. checks the bill and comments and asks who the numbers are for?
Will try getting in touch with them online or ring when I go out from a public call box. Ridiculous eh?

Lizx