General Chat

Hello Liz

l did'nt get back on here properly yesterday as you know l had pc probs!!

If there is anything l can do please don't hesitate to ask, l mean that!!
You are brave and honest to put this thread up and in time it will help you, you've started the ball rolling by doing this!!

l wish l lived nearer, l would be there helping to sort the house with you.

Take care
love jude xx

Liz I think you were very brave to put this thread up. Chin up and I'm sure your life can be turned around very soon
Mau xx

Thanks Jude, hope your back is easing and the pc behaves from now on!

Mau, thanks love, will keep everyone posted. I don't know what I would do without my friends on here, life is so boring with him, he has no ambition to do stuff or go places, just wants to stay in his rut. What a front he put on when I met him. I have managed to widen his horizons a bit by pushing him to go abroad and travel more but he still prefers to stick to this little house in this little culdesac, never wants to go out unless I suggest and arrange things and I am tired of doing it.
A friend when she met him when we first got together, said he won't stretch you and everyone needs someone to do that, she was right, I have stretched him to embrace different things but he has not done the same for me. Another of his friends told me 'He is hard work' I didn't ask then what he meant but realise now what he means, the autistic side of o.h. was disguised or maybe I just didn't recognise it for what it was, but I see now it runs strongly through his family, his father, son and nephew have similar problems in varying degrees, his nephew so bad he can't hold down a job. The secret drinking too was well hidden for a long time, altho his father knew about it and was the one who brought the subject up saying he was pleased I seemed to have got him off drink. How blind I was! My excuse maybe was that I had had such a traumatic time myself, moving house and having such problems with the builder/plumber, my parents getting very ill and dying, all of it over an 8 yr period and while coping with work and a young son on my own....

Not to worry, the only way is up and out of here.... will keep you posted.

love and thanks
Lizxxx

Thanks Shy.

xxx
Lizx

My M.I.L said, good , now you can have the trouble of feeding him! At that time it was because he was always hungry, what she would have said if she could see him now I dont know, as he is exactly the opposite and has to be encouraged to eat another mouthful! He is like yours a bit, Purple, as he is happiest when he is in his shed with his lathe, and none too interested in whether I would like to do anything else.

Hello Liz

Read your post this morning. You have my deepest sympathies. It is so hard to leave a relationship which has gone down the pan, for whatever reason.

Currently a friend is in a similar situation to yourself, though it is her house, and the oh won't leave. She just hasn't the will power to get shot of him, and a lot of years of her life have been wasted on this manipulative and evil man.

I too had several years of an abusive relationship. Leaving with small children was difficult, but I made the break, leaving my home and possessions behind, but taking the most important things in my life, my kids. T/he fear from those years has never really left me, and my children have been traumatised because a huge slip up was made between the police and social services in not preventing access to the apology for a human being..

That was years ago, and I was fit and healthy, but i appreciate how difficult it must be when you are unwell and older, to have to uproot and move out.

I do wish you all the best. Like many other mails on this thread, you have always been so kind and supportive ie the Hair Loss thread, to mention just one, where you have given your time to help other people.

Have you thought of using freecycle for some of your hoarded belongings? We belong to such a group in our area, and have gladly parted with items which are of no use to us. You've probably thought of that already, or a car boot?

Take care, and have a good day.

Love

Angelsongxx

Hi Liz, although I live in a cluttered house, I can't even begin to imagine what it is like to be a OCD horder. It must be really difficult for you to cope day to day and also in getting people to understand your illness.

Have you had any Cognitive Behaviour Therapy? (CBT) I have had some for problems of my own and found that it helped a great deal.

It seems that you have two main problems at the moment - Your OCD which you should have help to control.

And then there is your O.H.

Please try not feel that your OCD ties you to your O.H. It really doesn't.
O.H. is a problem you CAN walk away from. I know that this is easier said than done. But just think of the benefits! After the initial upheavel you will be reducing your stress levels big time!

Liz, you are so supportive to others on the boards, I am sure that like me, other people just wish that they could give you the support you deserve.

My thoughts are with you, I hope that you can resolve things to your own satisfaction pretty soon.

Take care of yourself, and treat yourself to something nice, a bit of pampering sounds in order.

Love,
Tess

Liz, l really do hope that one day you will have everything you want.........you deserve some happiness, you are always there for us and l wish there was something l could do for you. x

Liz, Life is far to short to put up with things you don,t have to.So try and Bite the Bullet and do your own thing ,then enjoy the rest of your life doing it. Good luck and take care.**M**.

Liz,

Like others, I don't know what to say/advise, but I do wish you happiness and contentment, and the means to achieve it. You always manage to find such wonderful words of comfort and support for lots on here and I'm sure that those same people wish you well.

Sheila x

Hi Liz

Just a thought for you about CAB, in my area they hold drop in sessions sometimes at a local health centre, it might be worth finding out if they have anything like that by you rather than making expensive phone calls. Libraries sometimes have information on local services too. Apologies if you've already checked out these avenues, as I said just a thought.

Sending good wishes your way

Michelle x

Liz,
many people on here are right behind you.
Its never silly to post on the boards when you're in need of advice. A problem shared and all that.
Wishing you all the best,

Cath x

Oh Liz, Iknow exactly how you feel, we are in the same boat you and I except I married the man. Liz I won a tenner on the lottery Sat, wish it had been the big one then we both would have been ok. Keep on in there gal we will win through. Elaine.

You know, I was only really musing when I put up this thread, thinking how one decision can lead down a different path to that you were planning or expecting.....

I am going to make contact with someone I know who works at CAB, she should be back there now the children are in school again so will see if she can help me sort out an apptmt, seems they close everyday at 2pm and only see people up to 4pm which with my wierd way of living, sleeping during the morning and getting out late afternoon, will be a bit difficult. I am determined to talk to someone there about my whole situation tho and hope they can help with some of my problems so I can move on.

Had some lovely pms which I will try and respond to soon, thank you all so much.

Lizxx

Elaine, we will have that natter again soon, love.
I went out and got my lottery tickets earlier to make sure I am in with a chance, where do you fancy the mansion lol?

xxx

Dear, dear Liz, just know we are in your corner and supporting you, I too would gladly dig in and help, 'cept it's a bit too far to make another spur-of-the-moment trip right now.
Please, please get some help or advice about the overall situation, worried about you. I know about a lot of the issues you cite, having been through similar issues with an ex.- there is no solution as long as you remain there, please don't give him another day of your life, tomorrow can be "the first day of the rest of your life".
Lots of love,Mary

Liz


((((((((((xxx))))))))))


sylvia