General Chat

My brother Robert, who I knew very little of till last year,was born on this day 62 years ago and had a short life of 2 days, my parents hardly spoke of him as that was what was expected then, just get on with it, it was only doing my family history, I found out details of his birth and death and where he is buried, I am so grateful for that.I never knew you Robert but you will always be in my heart 4 Nov- 6 Nov 1948

Crystalcat, how lovely that you found out all the details of your brother Robert. Bless his little heart.


I had a brother who was stillborn and my Mum told me the midwife told my Dad to bury him in the garden. At the time they were living with my paternal Gran and that was miles away from here. As Gran and Mum didn't get on ( seems Gran was most unsympathetic ) Mum and Dad returned to Norfolk where my Mum came from and where she had the support of her sisters and brothers. I don't even know what date he was born, but it would have been sometime in 1946, as I was born back in Norwich in July 1947 and my parents only met in October 1945 and married Dec 1945.

My Mum did talk to me about my brother Richard but she would cry when she mentioned him and it only happened occasionally and when we were on our own.

Lizx

CrystalCat, how sad, but it is so good that you have found Robert and he can be remembered.
I found after my Dads death this year that he had 4 little bothers and sisters born and died before he was born. My Dad was 89. I do not know if he knew this. He had a little brother who also died when Dad was a child who he talked about so I suspect he did not know about the others.
I felt very sad at the time but at least I now know where they are and that they are not forgotton.
This hobbie of ours can be very sad at times.

Thoughts with you and little Robert.

Teresaxx
Thinking of you also Liz xx

Thank you Liz and Teresa, Thank you for your kind words and sharing your equally sad stories, I just thank god we live in enlightened times now and parents are encouraged to remember their lost children xx

((((((hugs)))))) xxx

God bless little Robert xx

Thank you Joy & Jules xxxxx

I found a few babies who had died in my family and it is so sad.But...It's also nice,that they have been found. If you know what I mean.


Marion

Thanks Teresa, it's sad but I suppose your grandparents didn't talk about the babies your Dad didn't know, but couldn't brush the one he knew under the carpet, if you will excuse the expression.

My Aunt, one of Mum's sisters, also had a baby boy who died soon after birth or was stillborn but because my cousin would have been his big sister and remembered it happening, he was mentioned sometimes and I know my cousin missed having him in her life.

At least my own daughter, who died 3 days after being born prematurely, has a little grave with a headstone on, and I told my son about his big sister as I used to take him with me to tidy the grave and put flowers on for her birthday etc.

We don't know if our lost little ones with no known resting places were born full term or prematurely, do we? Just that they were only lent to us for a little while.


Lizx

liz, I am so sorry to hear about your Daughter, it is very hard to say the right thing, my thoughts are with you

I had a 12 week miscarrage between my two hence the 7 year age gap. My Children know and sometimes talk about it.

Years ago it was all hushed up and the poor women sometimes did not even get to see their Baby or morn their loss.

Thank goodness things have changed now.
Thinking of all the lost little ones.

Teresax

God bless all the little children. x

My auntie had a baby in the 1946, he only lived 2 weeks. He wasnt talked about as his mum wasnt married at that time. He was buried with his grandad but no-one could afford a headstone.When my mum died in 2006,dad found the grave and mum was buried with her dad and the baby. Dad put the name of the baby on the headstone with mums and grandads. Even though it was 60 years after the babys death I feel better knowing I can go to the grave and know they are all together now.

My great uncle Edwin died on February 25 1945, aged 29 - not from his wounds, but from shock.

A few months later, his wife, Gladys, gave birth to a stillborn girl. She had the strength, and determination to place an advertisement in the 'births' column of the local newspaper, announcing the birth of her stillborn daughter, daughter of Edwin and Gladys.
Why she felt the need to do this, I'll never know, it was very unusual at the time, but I know Edwin's family were behind her.

A few years later, Gladys herself died of TB.

So sad, but the family were at last together.

Thanks Teresa, it was 1974 so a lot of what ifs since then, I would probably be a grandma by now but had my daughter lived I probably wouldn't have visited Malta and met my son's father and had my lovely son in 1982. I am just greedy tho and wish I had both of them.

I am glad you can talk freely about your lost baby with your family.
I hardly saw my daughter, wasn't even told she was alive till several hours after her birth when a nurse came to ask if I wanted my baby baptised, she had to go away and find out whether I had a girl or boy. No support at all when she died and no chance to hold her (she was very tiny) no photos, or little feet or hand prints. Thank goodness things are better now.

Sylvia, I am glad your cousin now has his name on the headstone, and Maggie, I think it's lovely that your relative was brave enough and supported too to announce the stillbirth of her little girl who had already lost her daddy. It must have given the poor woman a little comfort at the time.

I had to make a bit of a fuss to get my daughter's birth and death in the births column of the local paper, I wanted to inform as many people as possible to avoid awkward questions when they saw me slim again and the paper just wanted it put in the deaths, but gave in in the end.

It's very hard for everyone, people ask if you have had the baby and in the same breath, what did you have etc, I just used to blurt out She's dead in the first few weeks, it was awful.

Lizx