General Chat

why don't we have the courage to say no, and mean it.!!!
Some of the listers may own a foreign holiday home or even live there, so be prepared for the coming onslaught.
Those of us who thought they had made such a move now know that the 'FAMILY ' have a holiday property we just have the bills and it is surprising how many people have adopted us as their Aunts and Uncles.
It usually starts around Feb/March when those we haven't heard from since last summer( no Christmas card) suddenly find our phone number and 'aren't we awful, we've been meaning to contact you for months'.
From 200,300 or 400 miles away they will be in 'our area' next May,June, July, August or September and wondered if???...and little Jamie and Helen are so looking forward to seeing their 'Aunt and Uncle again... we are not related.
We have major building work going on, the house has burnt down or we are invaded with hornets are not in the slightest way deterrents and we usually give in and very reluctantly agree to their persistence.
They arrive with appetites that suggest that they haven't eaten since last summer and the house looks like a tip in no time as they still do not know how to pick things up such as clothes, empty coke bottles etc etc. and seem not to have heard of rubbish bins and what is 'washing up?'
Is it usually this hot/cold in summer...they ask you should know by now !!
Shopping is a problem where we have to be on guard for the little 'goodies' that get slipped into 'OUR' trolley... because the children do so love their CDM,Heinz Beans, Ginger Nuts etc. etc.. on OUR checkout bill at imported prices.
Something irritating seeing them poke throught the fridge and freezer looking for 'something nice' perhaps an hour after lunch.
There is no mention of payment unless you consider the dreadful bottle (one) of very cheap plonk that they rewarded us with and then shared, thankfully.
All our fault, I know ,and in case you are wondering... its is not yet Christmas and we have already had our first call about next year, when they will be 'available' most of the summer, so they are out early already... and still no Christmas card.

You obvious don't like these 'friends' or 'family' so why not just say you are not up to having visitors this year but you can recommend a good hotel/whatever nearby and you'd love to see them then. If you upset them you wont mind as you don't particularly like them.

Ann's advice cannot be bettered now all you have to do is stiffen that backbone of yours and take a deep breath - it will get easier after the first refusal.

When I was a child and living by the sea, Mums family, who never bothered with her otherwise, would come and plonk themselves on her, saying, Oh, so and so could just bunk in with Jean, and the other child with my sister, and we'll sleep on the sofa bed. The worst examle was when Mum and brother were away and I was on holiday with the school. I arrived back a day before my Mum, only to find the house occupied by an Aunt, uncle and all their brood and no bed for me! Luckily a neighbour took me in, but you have never heard such an explosion as came the next day when Mum arrived home! They were packed and gone in half an hour, and never darkened our doorstep again.

Perhaps you could turn the tables on them some time and go to visit them - for an extended stay. If they say no, you can point out that they have had holidays at your expense in the past.

Alternatively, you could say you have become a holiday boarding house and the charge is (however many pounds) per person. NO FREEBIES.

Huia.

many thanks for all your replies and suggestions which only confirm that it really is down to us to sort it as we are obviously regarded as a 'soft touch'.
looks as if we are not alone just finding it more difficult to say no although we did manage it when one couple of 'relatives' asked if we might book their ferry AND pay for it and they would pay us back when they arrived... funny how the ferries were all fully booked.
we also live in the middle of nowhere surrounded by fields but 'sat navs' are wonderful things to find those intent on hiding away and there really is a village named 'Prat' not that far away so guess thats all they need to put into their sat navs to find us.... spot on!!!
as you all say it really is all about a free holiday so that has to be a new years resolution.

Good on you girl - do not be walked on. Enjoy next year!!

If people keep in touch and you know they wont be able to afford a holiday it is a bit different, especially if they share the food costs etc Thats not the same as coming uninvited.

Suzanne, you sound nice, where did you say you were??? Could do with a free holiday, Lol!!

Helen, you can come to us.

It is the other way round for us - we wish family and friends would visit more often! Daughter and husband come once a year. Neither drive and the journey by train with two under 5s is a bit difficult. Sons usually come up once a year. 400 mile round trip for one night! Friends say it is too far! What do we have to offer? A lovely village, in lovely countryside and by the sea. I think we moved to the wrong country, Scotland not Spain!

You could always re address their letter,( Dear Mr,Mrs,Freeloader ) sorry but we no longer live at this address.Goodbye. **M**.