General Chat

15. I will not eat other animals' poop.

14. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.

13. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

12. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

11. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.

10. Cats: Circulate a petition that sleeping become a juried competition in major animal shows.

9. Come to understand that cats are from Venus; dogs are from Mars.

8. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.

7. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on steroids, or they'll flush me!

6. Get a bite in on that freak who gives me that shot every year.

5. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.

4. Cats: Use new living room sofa as scratching post.

3. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock!
January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.

2. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

AND the Number 1 New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets...

1. I will NOT chase the stick until I see it LEAVE THE IDIOT'S HAND

AND WHEN AUNTIE
DIZZI TALKS TO YOU ON
THE PHONE

SHES NOT AT THE DOOR

Another would have been for ours - I must not roll in the poop of deer and I must remember that if I do, I get a bath cos I tink!!!

You are a DOG - you are not "one of the girls" - not even if you sneak on to the settee between us when we're putting the world to rights, in true girly fashon.

And, come to that, your rear end is not your most becoming feature....

Sue x

One of my cats has already achieved her New Year's resolution!!!!

At the first loud bang outside, I will not scrabble to hide myself in the cupboard under the stairs (smallest corner at the furthest end), and proceed to rip my long fur out so I look like a poodle with mange!!!
She stayed under the wicker chair all evening, until I moved upstairs, when she lay under a stool!
It's only taken 4 years!!!

One for another cat - swinging from 'mummy's' ar*e by my (unretractable)claws while she's preparing a meal will not make her give me a taste of whatever she's preparing.

One for our 3 year old Border Collie...

I will not in future bark at birds of any kind that encroach my territory ie the back garden.

I have already had one ASBO from the local council...reported by an extremely disagreeable neighbour. I only bark, I hasten to add, for such a short time... just enough to get rid of the peskie things and inbetween my female owner is bribing me with all sorts of goodies to get me in and to shut me up....sheesh am I on to a good thing!

Hearing my master's whistle and I am in like a shot...well he is the one that takes me walkies!!

Well the dog kept her resoloution & did not roll in anything badger or fox related,however I doubt she'll keep it up!!

EEYORE


DONT WANT TO PUT A SPANN ER
IN THE WORKS


.B
..U
....T
...............DOG

.........................CANT READ

My dog really wrote this (in my dreams) and I hope she sticks to it....

I promise not to be a bully any more and stare longingly and constantly at my cupboard containing 'goodies'. I understand the bouncing and excitement I do at every opportunity is very detrimental to your health - and mine and the weight I have gained since being a total bully is going to be hard for us both to lose.

From the owner of a dog with an ASBO!

Eeyore13

His only treat is No.1 lol

Kim