General Chat

I was very shocked at the lack of care and support we actually got from anyone proffessional and a solicitor is dealing with it, i spoke with a macmillian nurse once and that was to tell me dad had weeks to live over the phone dads consultant went on holiday and left no notes for dads actuall admittance so i had to tell them dad had a infection which turned out to be cancerous and we saw a differnt doc each day who told us conflicting info which resulted in a family row , and when i fought to get him into our local hospice no notes came with him, and when seen by there doc he lived 4 days so with respect proffesional help can go wrong, but i strongly suggest having a named proffessional as there are lots and lots of good ones i really hope we can help and you get the need you need all my love xxxxx lorraine x

Hello Brenda,

We have spoken before, reason i remember you is the "Wales" as I also live in Wales. So sorry to hear that your husband is ill, Christmas & New Year must have been very emotional for you both, it is like something you "have" to do, when really you just want it to go away!

Being strong is what us women are best at, however there comes a stage when we need support and a little TLC. As the girls have said there is always someone here to listen, so please come back when ever you feel the need.

Annxx

Brenda, How sad your husband is so ill. I agree , it is easier to talk to someone you dont know, and from experience I know you wont alway like to talk to those closest to you as, they are also hurting.

People on here are very kind and supportive and we really do care, so talk whenever you can someone will always listen.

Try to take care of yourself

xx

Brenda - if your husband has been hospitalised at any time you should have access to a social worker who may be able to provide counselling or information about support groups for carers. While much is done for the person who is ill it is often the carer who suffers. The last thing you or the family need is for you to become ill so it's important that you access some kind of respite so you can have some 'me' time.

Talking out your concerns is a great way of getting it off your chest and strangers are the best people to talk to. I know this because it's what I do - listen to family members of cancer patients. It's amazing what people say to me that they find impossible to share with other family members. I have no doubt that you are a strong and capable woman but you still need care and comfort. Take care.

Sue x

Brenda, l salute you.........must be so hard to stay strong when your crying inside,
l know from personal experience that you will get all the support on here that you need, the peeps on here are the best, they have got me through a few things lately and we will be here for you.
May l wish you the best New Year that is possible,
you take care, x

hello brenda, i know how u feel i became my dads main carer towards his very premature death in september in the august we still believed that he could have curable chemo or radio, although the nurses and doctors tried telling he was dying we decided as a family to go along with what he wanted and that was to stay positive and he would get well lying was hard but for us all including dad it was the right thing, a day before he fell into a coma he thought he was well enough to come home , i held his hand as he passed away , ive had to be strong for my mum i didnt chose to be with him as he died noone else would do it , so what im trying to say brenda please please if u want to talk im here in pm or on here xxxxxx

since I've posted on here,and didn't realise it was a new format of signing in first.

The reason I've hardly been on the boards...or even the computer, is that my husband is quite seriously ill and it's taken up a lot of time in caring for him.He's been ill for over 4 years now,but it is lots worse as I have to do almost everything for him.
Had the worst Christmas ever...and New Year not a lot better.Not complaining,but it is sad when he says he won't see another Christmas,and it was even harder saying Happy New year last night.
We take it one day at a time,but I just felt I had to tell someone away from the family as to them I seem to be very strong and coping...which I am,but really it is hard...I'm listening all the time,just as you do with a young child.
Anyway,to all of you,I hope the New Year brings good health and happiness.
Brenda x