General Chat

Please can you tell me why people are on Genes looking for certain ancestors when you write to them they don't answer. I have written to a quite a few people that have and might have the same ancestor as me but they don't reply. Why be on this site.

I have sent a lot of messages to people with a possible connection, the envelope is opened, but not reply. At least they could send an auto-reply stating no connection. Perhaps if there is no connection they don't think it worth replying.
Liz

This question comes up every couple of weeks or so.

First check to see if your message has been read. This shows that the other member is still using the site. If it has been read, then a polite follow up, after a week or too, can often bring a response.

If the message has not been read, then there is little that you can do. There could be several reasons,

* the member is no longer interested in the site
* they have changed their email address and have not notified GR and are therefore unaware there are messages waiting
* they are busy with other things and visiting GR is not a current priority of theirs
* the member has died
etc, etc

I find that I get better results when contacting members who have recently been adding names to their tree, as it means they are currently active on the site You can find who these are by looking under search trees either by individual name or using the surname summary and selecting those added within, say, the last 14 days.

It may be because the information is, shall we say, embarrassing to them. My great grandmother was illegitimate, no problem to me but at least four people whom I know to be distantly related have stopped contact once they found this fact out.

One lady very indignantly told me it could not possibly be true because her side of the family were "not like that".

Thank you for your replies. I also have a few that are illegitamate me included but it doesn't worry me at all, we are not in the dark ages there is so much of it going on it shouldn't be a problem. I know one of the contacts has only been on the site a few months, her daughter even rang me before her mother went on site. I have been looking for 4 half sisters and I know this person was the daughter of one of them but she doesn't want to share the information I have on her ancestors, it seems so sad.

Shame, but perhaps she feels that you aren't entitled to info about the
Grandparent that you *don't* have in common? The sins of the father unto the seventh generation and all that - lol Look at it this way - her loss. Unless it would upset any one, you may be you could have a chat to her daughter and find out what the problem is that way?

Sorry we cannot help any more June.
We all have brick walls, sooner or later every branch of your tree hits one and you have to go searching a different branch - that is the way of genealogy.
With a stumbling block caused by no return of information from a person who has tapped my own tree I call that a human wall. I just keep looking back at it every now and again and hoping, there is not much else you can do.

Good luck