General Chat

Hi everyone,

I'm at a crossroads in my life and need to make a few changes. I'm in my mid 50s, I've brought up three children and helped bring up 7 grandchildren, 2 with disabilities, so the past 10 years especially have been very busy, enjoyable if not stressful at the same time. However, with the younger ones all at school, I'm not needed like I was before, and although it was nice to have more time to myself, I'm finding it really difficult to move on.

I used to have my own car, but with life revolving around family, all within easy walking distance, it seemed an unnecessary expense. Now I would like my own car again, but hubby was reluctant to buy one until I was already working. So, I started looking for work with a very positive attitude. I'm intelligent and I know I'm very capable of doing all sorts of things, but that positivity has been gradually ground down. I was hoping to find work in my local area, but it seems there is a distinct lack of jobs for women of my age with no qualifications, experience or work track record, and I'm also held back by not having my own transport. I've had part-time jobs over the years, fitting around school and family, so I'm not lazy (though I feel like it at the moment), but it seems that all the jobs I go for require something I don't have.

At the moment it seems like it's ground-hog day and the days can be very long. Perhaps I'm approaching this problem all wrong.

Just wondered if anyone else has reached a similar place.

Thanks for listening :)

Carole

Just a thought, to get experience in retail why not volunteer in a charity shop. Working with people looks good on a CV. Is it possible for you to share your OH's car so that you can say honestly that you have access to a car?

Hi Ann,

I've been into the 2 charity shops in my village and they have a waiting list of volunteers! At least they have my number and know I'm willing. I would love to do volunteer work, and have registered with my nearest organisation. I applied to volunteer for our CAB, but they aren't recruiting at the moment. I know there are more opportunities, it's getting to them. I have tried to explain to him that volunteer work would be a stepping stone and boost my confidence into the bargain, but he seems to think this would make it harder to find work because I'd have to work around it. He's never been out of work, so he has no idea what it feels like - in fact he has only even had 2 jobs in the his life, with family, so has never had to even attend an interview!
I've suggested sharing his car, and I used it a few times, but again he seems reluctant to do this as it means he has to wait for me to collect him or he has to get a lift.

Goodness me........aren't I feeling sorry for myself lol

No you are not feeling sorry for yourself, just trying to work round your problems. Does your OH actually want you to find work? Or does he want you there waiting with a meal with his washing all done and ironed etc when he gets home? Sounds cruel but he does sound as if he is putting obstacles in the way of you being away from the house.

What are your skills It might help you to list them. List everything you think is positive about you. i.e. good with people, good with children, good at organising (you have to have these skills with what you have been doing until now.

Have you ever worked before? What did you do?

I am inclined to agree with Ann, Carole, but I really appreciate your frustration and desire to get working again! I think if you work on getting your own car, then it will open up many more opportunities. Go girl!

Good luck:-) BCXX

Hi Carole- What about volunteering at your local Family history Society. I know where I go that they alway welcome some more helpers. Without them the office cannot be open and there has to be at least two people available. The bonus is that all the information is at hand if it is a quiet day but if it is busy the visitors seem so grateful for the help they receive.......a bit like these boards- lol- I wish you well with your quest.....also its seems a bit meany not being able to share the car willingly so I hope that you succeed in eventually getting a job if only to have the independence of 4 wheels.
Just a thought as you seem a caring sort of a person, have you thought about working in a care home. It is possible to study for nvq and do a worthwhile job which could lead to being a carer for someone in the community, and you would need a car for that, but then you could chose your hours. I know the pay isn't good but it might cover the cost of the car.-jle

Hi Carole
What about looking into getting some qualifications?
It's never too late and there are many courses that will lead to work.
I went to University in my mid fifties and it was one of the best things I ever did.
Good luck with whatever you choose to do
Take care
Von

Lots of good suggestions here Carole. I realise that it is daunting to start out again, and living in a village transport to town might be not very good. Still I wish you luck and hope the suggestions here have helped.

Thanks for all your replies :)

I've done a few part-time jobs - packing shelves, packing bread, evening cleaning, house cleaning, working in a kitchen - all over 10 years ago. Family circumstances changed when the grandchildren came along, so I've not done anything for over 10 years.

There is a school at the end of the road, where my grandchildren go, and I regularly keep an ear on the ground for anything in the pipe line. I would have loved to work a couple of days at the playgroup there, but naturally you need a qualification nowadays. I used to help out at my children's school, reading etc. - I'd turn up when I could and If they could use me then good, if not I went home. How things have changed!

I'm friendly, I Iike people (at least I can tolerate most of them lol) I can talk to anyone over the phone, I love kids, I'm computer literate and I've got good organisational skills. I'm just fed up of being asked what qualifications and experience I've got. I want to shout at them - I can do this job, do I really need an NVQ to answer to phone!!! lol

I can't bear to be idle ..... and this weather doesn't help.

As for hubby, well he definitely wants me to work, preferably full time, I just think he's totally unrealistic about what can I achieve without transport.

Actually, just being able to write it all down has made a big difference to my mood today

Thanks :))))

Thanks again to you all :))

I think I'm worrying too much about trying to get any old job, rather than finding something that really suits me, and will make me happy. If that means studying, then so be it. Go me!!

Well done Carole, you have talked yourself out of the despondance.

Carole, might also be an idea to go into your nearest job centre, and see if there are any Jobs Fayres scheduled, it could be worth going just to see what people are looking for and often talking to the companies 'informally' is easier than an interview, they can see you as a person and not just a CV with gaps lol !

Also ask at the job centre about seeing an advisor re 50+ career change the one I saw was very good in terms of finding out what training courses or studying (and grants) might be available.

Good luck!